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Your daily guide of sensual satisfaction for
Friday, February 29, 2008
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A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:
Welcome to another round of extensive reader comments! This
week I have included tons of feedback on THE oral dilemma,
as well as plenty of questions needing reader response. That
means you! Please respond if you have insight, advice, or
experience regarding some of the questions posed today. Also,
don't miss the lovely letter of the week!
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Today's Topic: Reader Comments
Carmen,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. He's
34 and I'm 28. I gave up all my male friends when things got
serious. He still talks to two female friends over the phone
and through text messages. I've told him over and over how
much this bothers me and hurts me. He told me he'd stop. Then
I busted him and he told me there was no reason to sacrifice
his friends because he didn't ask me to give up mine.
Now the real problem I have is that he has a past with one.
When he was 17 he was with one of them. Now, I know it was a
long time ago, but it still bothers me. I would never talk to
any of my exes just out of respect for him. Every time I
mention it to him about talking to either of them he gets so
angry that he mentions breaking up and this not working with
us because of my jealousy. It's not jealousy, it hurts that
he doesn't consider my feelings. Any ideas what I can do to
get it through his head? Help Please.
[I would be concerned that he has enough desire to speak with
his ex to disrupt your relationship of two years. That does
not exactly speak of a strong bond, and it would bother me,
too. His threats of breaking up are not a healthy atmosphere
for a successful relationship. Readers: what do you say?]
Hi Carmen,
I have been wanting to explore the male gspot for some time
now but I'm too scared to go there! I've explored, and enjoyed
anal myself but the idea of putting fingers up my boyfriend's
bum freaks me out! I know he wants to try this please help!
Hey Carmen,
I'm fairly new to your newsletter - and I love it. But, I
haven't seen this subject yet. My guy has expressed an inter-
est in me becoming his 'Mistress'. I don't know much about
this subject and being a dominatrix - so I was hoping your or
some of your readers can help a gal out. ...sounds like it
might be fun though. Keep the great articles coming... J
Hello.
I have been a reader for years now, and I really love your
newsletter. I don't get the chance to read them sometimes, so
I save them all in a folder and look at them when I get the
chance. I am a busy mother of a well energized 2-year-old
(Kansas). Anyway, I am about 17 weeks pregnant with another
little girl (Kamryn). We have been having sex regularly since
we have been married (and before that). But now that I am
pregnant, we have been having trouble with sex (uncomfortable,
once spotting, etc.). I was wondering if you have any good
sex positions for the pregnant-type. We really enjoy our love
making and don't want to stop. Thank you so much.
[Congrats on your pregnancy! Readers: send in your ideas!]
Carmen,
I took the time to learn to be able to perform oral sex with-
out gagging, it takes time, and to swallow the ejaculate...it
could taste better, but it doesn't...I have had partners who
love receiving oral, but are not great at returning the favor..
I feel if you truly care for someone it is important to establ-
ish what each person is comfortable with and expects from the
relationship..and then in is up to each person to provide the
necessary steps to make and keep the relationship going..just
a side..the comment about being faced with so many people it's
hard to remain monogamous...is total crap..if you love and
commit yourselves, then what's the problem? You see new shoes,
new clothes, news things everyday...you admire them, but you
don't get to have them all..
Carmen,
My boyfriend and I have been together for going on 7 years
and he was my first in everything. To be honest I was very
curious about the male body. So after we dated for a while,
and before we had sex, I decided to give him head! He was so
surprised! He couldn't believe I would just do it. Come to
find out that I love doing it! I love everything about it! I
don't mind swallowing at all, I think of it as a reward for
doing a job well done! When he cums on my body I'd rub it in
and "play" in it. He just absolutely loves it, it's his biggest
turn on that I love it so much. Later on I found out that
semen is healthy for you! So I swallow and rub it in my skin
whenever I can. It honestly did help my complexion. He told
me that he had 2 other girlfriends before me and they wouldn't
swallow, he didn't care back then, but "That's before I knew
what I was missing", he said. I'm glad we make each other
very happy! And I'm happy to share info with you and all the
readers!
Carmen
I would have to say that there is definitely a comparison made.
My ex did everything a guy would want down there when she was
down there but fell short when having intercourse. My current
partner does every position imaginable and lots of fun and
erotic sounds but refuses to resort to oral stimulation. So,
in retrospect I would have to say I prefer the oral but am
enjoying the current situation.
In response to the previous girl that actually seemed to enjoy
giving oral, she said she might as well swallow because its
already in there anyway and I would have to say that was one
of the most pleasing comments I have received in this whole
erotic world. I would also say that it means enough to me
(and the current relationship has been short enough) that I
would probably have to resort back to someone that enjoys the
sucking part of the job.
Carmen,
I read with real interest your article on oral. Me and my
wife are in our mid-40's. It must have been the change of
life, but in the last year or so, her sex drive has skyrocket-
ed. And the one thing that she shied away from, oral with
swallowing, is now a regular activity. And I'm not complaining.
Oral has always been a part of our sex life, both for her and
me. For me the Oral orgasm is much different than a vaginal
orgasm. It is much more intense. Go team Oral. Thanks for the
great newsletter,
Hi Carmen,
I am a male reader. I really can not say what would be better
as my wife has never swallowed. She has only had me cum 2
and neither time was it in her mouth. I love to drink her
juice as it has a lovely flavor to it. The only problem is
when it goes up my nose, it tends to burn. I wish I could
get her to read your emails and maybe it would help our love
life. Keep up the good work.
Hi Carmen;
Great column and I enjoy it a lot. I am a 73 year old male
who has had several partners over the years and until I met
and had sex with my now partner who is also 73, none of the
women I had sex with would allow me to climax thru oral sex.
I never pressed the issue and was quite happy to enjoy and
finish up in the vagina.
One time I had a female cum during a 69 session and she
nearly drowned me, I swallowed but, at the time I thought it
may have been pee but have since learned it isn't. My now
partner gives fantastic oral sex, she swallows, and will stay
with me until the erection goes away. I never asked her to
start doing that she just insisted that as I do her to climax
including her occasional outpouring cum, that I deserved no
less. She is great
Carmen,
This is in response to The Oral Dilemma letter. I happen to
have a partner that loves to swallow and also like to have me
"pop" on her tits, yes she is a wonderful lady, but this
doesn't and would never define any relationship I was in. I
could care less if she swallows, spits or not even take it
in her mouth. In fact it really wouldn't bother me not to
receive at all since I'd prefer giving her oral and having
sex over receiving a blowjob.
My brother, on the other hand, has said that he won't stay
with a girl if she don't swallow and has actually ended
several relationships because of it.
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*
[LETTER OF THE WEEK]
Hi Carmen;
Just read your column today; about your grandma's philosophy;
I really needed to read that today; thanks so much! I'm 61
years old, and have had very low self esteem my whole life,
but reading about "having something for myself" in your
column today really struck a nerve; I'm a good person, and
have lots to be proud of! And I'm going to start remembering
that! Thanks again!
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That's a wrap, folks! Love you all! Have a wondrous weekend,
everyone. As always, I remain...
Devotedly yours,
Carmen Sutra
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