Publication: Great Sexpectations
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Your daily guide of sensual satisfaction for
Friday, November 16, 2007
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A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:
Having a threesome remains one of the all-time fantasy de-
sires, which is why it's also one of the all-time most
requested topics here at Great SEX. People wonder about the
outcome, fantasize about the actual deed, and want to know
about others' experiences. Thus, when a reader shared his
own story this week and asked for feedback, well, the
floodgates opened.
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Today's Topic: Reader Comments
Carmen,
I am writing in response to the question about whether others
threesome experiences have been similar. I have had 3 three-
somes, two with my future husband and my best friend and one
with my future husband and his best friend. In each experi-
ence, one of us felt left out. With my friend, my husband
did things that he had stopped doing with me, and the first
time it occured they had sex, but I didn't. I was involved,
but was pretty much just an extra place for him to put his
hands on occasion.
I agreed to it a second time only because I knew I would have
a more difficult time with leaving things the way they were
rather than ensuring their were ground rules and trying again.
It wasn't horrible, but it didn't open any lines of communi-
cation or improve our relationship. It mostly made me wish
we could go back to when we first started dating. With my
husband's friend, it was not at a good point for either of
us emotionally (my brother had passed away a little over a
month before) and it was a spur of the moment kind of thing
they initiated. No ground rules is a bad thing. I know my
husband felt left out in the end. So, in my experience it was
something that created a few issues, but overall was neither
good nor bad. Female from Nebraska
Dear Carmen,
My wife and I also had a similarly positive experience. We
talked about a threesome for quite some time before we did
it, and aborted at the 11th hour on several occasions before
we actually summoned enough courage to go through with it.
We found our partner over the internet. This was, we felt,
the safest and most efficient way to do it. Our partner was
a younger male. I had absolutely no pangs of jealously at
all, before, during, or after the experience. We played at
our own home. When our friend arrived, we just jumped in.
After a quick "where shall we begin?" he asked if he could
kiss her. We both agreed, and they locked in some incredibly
sensuous kissing. Fondling soon followed, and before too
long, the three of us were naked on our bed.
Like your writer, I came first from behind while she was
giving him a BJ. I couldn't control myself! It was such a
hot experience. She could have done whatever she wanted with
him and it would have been fine with me. Just seeing the two
of them kissing, and the amount of pleasure my wife was exper-
iencing, was incredibly pleasing to me.
Our ground rules were minimal, but we discussed her comfort
and abandoning the experiment immediately if she became uncom-
fortable. That never happened! We had such an amazing time,
I would not hesitate to do it again. We haven't, only because
we haven't found the right time. With kids, it's not the
easiest thing to pull off without going to a hotel. Our
comfort level at our own home was very high. Thanks for
addressing this topic.
Carmen,
Great subject to bring up! There wasn't any jealousy (on my
part) in my last threesome, but only cuz it was me with 2
guys. I def do think I would get very jealous if I saw my
hubby with another woman. Any how, I have a couple of swinger
friends who all said the same thing. You should set up rules
before the "special night" (which that couple is doing already).
They've also mentioned that there should be a word or phrase
that either one of you could say if it gets too uncomfortable
for you, because it's true, you're not sure how you're gonna
feel about it unitl you're in it.
Hi Carmen,
Just wanted to add to the story of the guy and his wife having
a 3sum. My husband and I have been together over 8 years and
swinging 5 of those years. After also experiencing a little
jealousy on his part in the beginning, we set ground rules
that we follow. We never swing alone and never party with
anyone unless both are sexually attracted to the other couple.
It has enhanced our lives in so many ways. We share all aspects
of everyday life without secrets. The closeness we feel and
the sexual attraction we have for one another is extraordinary.
Not to mention the many wonderful friends we've made along
the way. It may not be for everyone, but it sure works for us!
Carmen-
I was recently in a relationship with a woman who'd decided
to explore her sexuality and had a threesome with her married
friends (before we'd gotten together). I felt honored that
she was comfortable enough with me to share that, and it also
displayed a level of trust, as she'd asked me to not make
that public knowledge.
During that conversation, I expressed my belief in a rather
strict monogomy, however I truly did not judge her for explor-
ing her own curiosities with people she trusted, and were
willing to share that with her. I am a jealous man, but very
trusting also. I let her know I felt that as long as she
could assure me that "twixt the sheets," she was exclusive to
me, it wasn't my business to dictate her friendships. My only
final statement was "only me, or not me."
This woman conversely was a way for me to explore less "vanilla"
sexual desires of my own. After a period of time, I began to
become more open to the idea of exploring swinging with her.
Other areas of our relationship were in rough shape, so I
wanted to see if we would last before adding what could have
potentially escalated into more confusing complications.
Unfortunately, we didn't find ourselves together when the
dust settled on the struggles. Thank you for maintaing this
publication, Carmen!
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Thank you to everyone for sharing their very personal stories
this week. I would like to take a step back next week and dis-
cuss singledom. We often tailor our articles to those in
relationships, but many of us are actually single, too. So,
my question to you is, how do you get up enough nerve to
approach a new person? What kinds of things do you say or
try to communicate? The initial contact can be critical,
especially if you are likely to never come across the person's
path again. So what say you? Send your ideas this weekend, and
I will include some next week. As always, I remain...
Devotedly yours,
Carmen Sutra
*********************WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP**********************
QUESTIONS PLANTED FOR HILLARY CLINTON
Hillary Clinton's campaign gave questions to the audience
for them to ask her as if they were spontaneous. Muriel Gallo-
Chassonoff tells all in this television interview.
Hillary
Viral Videos on the Net at EVTV1.com
EVTV1.com
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