Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters | Forums

Custom Search
Publication: Classic Laffaday
Water Crisis Looming

Subscribe FREE to Classic Laffaday by clicking here.

<<<<<<<<<<<<< From the Laff-a-Day Archives >>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

       Classic Laff-a-Day - August 13, 2008
Subscribe & unsubscribe links are at the bottom of the page.   
Greetings Laff Lovers,

Did you hear about the University of Central Florida's new on-
campus stadium? Yeah, it sits over 43,000 students. Problem is,
they didn't put any water fountains in the place, and kids were
collapsing from heat exhaustion during the first game of the

When asked about this stupid fucking idea one official said that
the students are going to have to go to the concession stands
and buy water.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting sick of paying $1.50
for 16 ounces of water. I think we need to go on a Bottled Water
Boycott. It's only tap water anyway. How about we all buy one of
those permanent bottles that we can reuse, fill it up with ice
water and lug that around?

Plus all the environmental damage discarding all those empty
bottles does. By the way, are you pissed off paying for
a gallon of gas? Do you know what you're paying per gallon of
water? $12.00.




Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 

You'll spend hours trying to figure out how it works!

Normal Price: $5.99 
SAVE EVEN MORE: Get Two for $5.98

This Calculator Pen Set is designed with a Magic case that can 
be opened and closed by one way rolling. It is a wonderful 
Gadget Gift and is also a practical Stationery Set. It's compact 
size is quite suitable for all mobile users as you can put it 
in the pocket or small handbag. 

* 8 digits Calculator
* AG8 button Cell Battery 1pc is included
* A metal pen for handy writing

Save more when you buy two or more. To see this amazing and
fun item, visit the site at:


Several weekends ago, I was rushing around trying to do some
Valentine's Day shopping. I was stressed out and not thinking
very fondly of the weather right then. It was dark, cold, and
wet in the parking lot.

As I was loading my car up, I noticed that I was missing a
receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I
retraced my steps to the mall entrance. As I was searching the
wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing.

The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12-
years-old. He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just
wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold
night's chill.

Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand.
Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him
what was wrong.

He told me his sad story. He said that he came from a large
family. He had three brothers and four sisters. His father had
died when he was 9-years-old. His mother was poorly educated
and worked two full time jobs. She made very little to support
her large family. Nevertheless, she had managed to skimp and
save two hundred dollars to buy her children some Valentine's
Day presents (since she didn't manage to get them anything on

The young boy had been dropped off, by his mother, on the way
to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for
all his siblings and save just enough to take the bus home. He
had not even entered the mall, when an older boy grabbed one
of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night.

"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked.

The boy said, "I did."

"And nobody came to help you?" I queried.

The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head. "How
loud did you scream?" I inquired.

The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!"

I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor
boy cry for help.

So I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car.

Kenneth Lay
Former CEO, Enron (before he had a heart attack and died)

"Marriage is very difficult. Very few of us are fortunate
enough to marry multimillionaire girls with 39-inch busts who
have undergone frontal lobotomies."
     ---Tony Curtis

"Thank you very much. That makes up for the strip search."
--Woody Allen, as he received a standing ovation at the Oscars.

The Heavy Duty Bovano Backpack just $9.99

Bovano, the renowned name in hand bags, has produced this 
heavy duty back pack. Stylish enough for school yet durable
enough for camping, this will be the only backpack you will
ever need to buy. 

With over 5 separate compartments, this adjustable, double
strapped backpack even comes with its own water bottle
holder for those long hikes. And its best feature of all
is the price: Only $9.99. To take advantage of this one
of a kind offer visit:

Bovano Backpack

An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the
dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and
exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite
wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean
selects infinite wisdom.

"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke
and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by
a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues
whispers, "Say something wise."

The dean looks at them and says, "I should have taken the


To see past issues of Classic Laffaday visit our archive at:

Classic Laffaday Archives


            *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ *** 

It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit: 
Laffaday Book 


Want some FUN and AMUSEMENT in your email box F-R-E-E?  Visit: 
See More Award Winning Publications 

Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
Feel free to forward this, in its entirety, to others. 

E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Classic Laffaday by clicking here.

The Classic Laffaday Forum
riddle me this batman
I forget
View this Forum | Post a topic to this forum

Bathroom Break For A Lifeguard

Watch Video Clip

Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters