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Publication: Classic Laffaday
They Know Not

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       Classic Laff-a-Day - July 1, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

My young neighbors are pregnant again. Years of fertility
therapy has paid off and now they are putting an addition on top
of their garage. I saw them outside the other day.

"Twins, huh?" I asked.

The father was very upbeat. "Yeah, isn't it great?"

"Uh huh," I nodded, "the only thing better than one baby is

My wife elbowed me in the ribs.

"They're only babies for a little while, but maybe they'll grow
up to cure cancer, or develop cheap, easily deployable housing
for refugees fleeing flood, famine or persecution..."

"Um, yeah," I drawled, "I think you might want to begin looking
into private schools 'cause da curriculum around these parts
don't cover dat stuff. We's more into finger painting and
needle point."




Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 


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I called the local newspaper's classified section to complain
about an ad I'd placed. 

It was obvious the person who took my information had never
spent any time on a farm. 

"I said 'ewes,'" I argued. 

"Pardon?" replied the operator. 

"Ewes. It makes a difference to some people." 

The ad that was placed read: "Sheep for sale - USED."

The young woman really thought she'd been very patient 
through a protracted period of dating with no talk of 

One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese 
restaurant. As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, 
"So, how do you like your rice? Steamed or fried?" 

Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and 
replied clearly, "Thrown."

My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very
difficult time achieving an orgasm.

The doctor said, "Which position do you use?"

"Doggy-style," he replied.

"Why don't you go home and, tonight, try it missionary position
and see if that works any better," said the doctor.

"We've tried that" he said, "but my dog has such bad breath."


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Today's Deal of the Day

Ernie's driving along the highway one evening when 
all of a sudden Nature calls. 

He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into 
the parking lot. 

When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! 
The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, 
women are dancing on the tables nd there's hardly 
standing room anywhere. 

Ernie scans the place a couple of times to find the 
restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spots a small 
stairway and scrambles up. 

When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the 
doors are locked. All but one. When he opens the door, 
all he sees is a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he 
drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he's ever 
had, right there in the hole. 

Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs. The once 
crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul is in 
sight. Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar. 

"What happened!?!" asks Ernie. 

The bartender responds, "Where were you when the shit 
hit the fan?"


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