Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters | Forums

Custom Search
Publication: Classic Laffaday
They Know Not

Subscribe FREE to Classic Laffaday by clicking here.



<<<<<<<<<<<<< From the Laff-a-Day Archives >>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

       Classic Laff-a-Day - July 1, 2008
                    Laffaday.com 
------------------------------------------------------------   
Subscribe & unsubscribe links are at the bottom of the page.   
------------------------------------------------------------ 
Greetings Laff Lovers,

My young neighbors are pregnant again. Years of fertility
therapy has paid off and now they are putting an addition on top
of their garage. I saw them outside the other day.

"Twins, huh?" I asked.

The father was very upbeat. "Yeah, isn't it great?"

"Uh huh," I nodded, "the only thing better than one baby is
two!"

My wife elbowed me in the ribs.

"They're only babies for a little while, but maybe they'll grow
up to cure cancer, or develop cheap, easily deployable housing
for refugees fleeing flood, famine or persecution..."

"Um, yeah," I drawled, "I think you might want to begin looking
into private schools 'cause da curriculum around these parts
don't cover dat stuff. We's more into finger painting and
needle point."

Planningly,

TZ 

mailto:tz@laffaday.com 

Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 


HOME SECURITY DOOR ALARM

Store Price: $19.99 
DEAL PRICE: $9.99 or get two for $15.98

When you see this you'll wonder... how the heck does this work?
It's a door alarm that ANYONE can install... without any special 
wiring, on any non-metallic door. 

This handy device will sound an instant ear piercing alarm if 
anyone touches your door knob. The 2-in-1 Alarm is great 
protection against unwanted visitors. 

Best of all, besides the price, is No Wiring Needed!

And if you're like me and wonder how it does work, visit the
site and click on the link to watch the short video. Grab one
or save even more and get two. Visit:

2 in 1 Home Security Door Alarm



I called the local newspaper's classified section to complain
about an ad I'd placed. 

It was obvious the person who took my information had never
spent any time on a farm. 

"I said 'ewes,'" I argued. 

"Pardon?" replied the operator. 

"Ewes. It makes a difference to some people." 

The ad that was placed read: "Sheep for sale - USED."



The young woman really thought she'd been very patient 
through a protracted period of dating with no talk of 
marriage. 

One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese 
restaurant. As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, 
"So, how do you like your rice? Steamed or fried?" 

Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and 
replied clearly, "Thrown."



My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very
difficult time achieving an orgasm.

The doctor said, "Which position do you use?"

"Doggy-style," he replied.

"Why don't you go home and, tonight, try it missionary position
and see if that works any better," said the doctor.

"We've tried that" he said, "but my dog has such bad breath."



VEGETABLE PEELING GLOVES

Retail Price: $9.99
Deal Price: $4.99
SAVE EVEN MORE: Get 2 for $7.98

The fastest and easiest way to peel vegetables! Great for 
potatoes, carrots, yams, radishes and more. Simply RUB to 
remove outer skin. Gloves are completely waterproof and way 
safer than knives or peeler blades. One size fits all

No nicks or cuts; they remove only the thinnest layer of peel!" 
With these gloves you'll minimize waste of your veggies... and 
let's face it, with the prices of groceries today, it's important 
to get the most from your buck.. 

Remember you can save even more when you buy two. Get two (2) 
for $7.98. They make great gifts. To order, visit:

Today's Deal of the Day



Ernie's driving along the highway one evening when 
all of a sudden Nature calls. 

He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into 
the parking lot. 

When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! 
The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, 
women are dancing on the tables nd there's hardly 
standing room anywhere. 

Ernie scans the place a couple of times to find the 
restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spots a small 
stairway and scrambles up. 

When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the 
doors are locked. All but one. When he opens the door, 
all he sees is a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he 
drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he's ever 
had, right there in the hole. 

Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs. The once 
crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul is in 
sight. Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar. 

"What happened!?!" asks Ernie. 

The bartender responds, "Where were you when the shit 
hit the fan?"


************************************************************

To see past issues of Classic Laffaday visit our archive at:

Classic Laffaday Archives

************************************************************

            *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ *** 

It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit: 
 
Laffaday Book 

************************************************************ 

Want some FUN and AMUSEMENT in your email box F-R-E-E?  Visit: 
See More Award Winning Publications 
____________________________________________________________ 
END OF CLASSIC LAFF-A-DAY: 

Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
Feel free to forward this, in its entirety, to others. 

E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Classic Laffaday by clicking here.

The Classic Laffaday Forum
riddle me this batman
I forget
View this Forum | Post a topic to this forum




Bathroom Break For A Lifeguard

Watch Video Clip


Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters