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       Classic Laff-a-Day - August 04, 2008
                    Laffaday.com 
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

I walked into Magilla's office and said, "Your neighbor just
called me to tell me that the yellow sports car is in your
driveway again. Sorry, boss, but it looks like your wife is
cheating on us."

"Who's that?" a voice said on the speakerphone.

Magilla motioned for me to get the fuck out while he explained
who I am. "That's TZ, our resident comic. He hasn't said
anything original in a long time, though."

"Perhaps I'll meet him when I come out next week?" said the
voice.

"Sure," I replied. "I'll set you up with a couple of hot Black
chicks."

"He was offended. "Actually, my wife is Black."

"Oh, then I'll switch it to Chinks."

"My wife is half Black and half Vietnamese."

"Hell, then I'll just set you up with a white woman. Magilla's
wife doesn't charge too much."

Pleased-to-meet-you-ly,

TZ 

mailto:tz@laffaday.com 

Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 


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TOILET PAPER FACTS 

According to a 1999 survey by the Scott Paper Company: 

* You can gauge a person's education by whether they read in
the bathroom. 

* More than 2/3 of the people with a master's degree and
doctorates read in the stall. 

* Only one in two high school grads read while in the bathroom,
and 56 percent of those with college degrees do. 

* Fifty four percent of Americans fold their toilet tissue
neatly while 35 percent wad it into a ball before using it. 

* Seven percent steal rolls of toilet paper (hotels/motels) 

* More than sixty percent prefer that their toilet paper roll
over the top, twenty nine percent from the bottom. The rest
don't care.

What does all this mean? It means we Americans don’t have
anything better to think about than wiping our ass.



"This is not art to me, all these squares and things. Real art
has, you know, like a madonna in it."
  ---Unknown (from a guest book at an exhibition of modern art)



I bumped into a friend of mine at the local Greek restaurant.
He was walking a bit funny.

"What’s wrong, Gus?" I asked.

"My balls are chaffing the inside of my thighs," he said in a
thick accent.

"Too bad... Now if they where chaffing somebody else’s that
would be a good thing."



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An employee of USAir by the name of James Gay boarded a US Air
flight with a free travel voucher. Soon after he sat down,
someone else came and claimed he had the same seat assignment,
so Mr. Gay moved down do an empty seat.

Soon after that the airplane began to fill up. The rule with
the US Air employee vouchers is that if a paying customer needs
your seat, you have to surrender it. So when the flight became
completely full and still more needed to get on, a flight
attendant went to the original seat of Mr. Gay and said to the
man now sitting there, "Excuse me, are you Gay?"

The man, somewhat stunned, said, "Well, yes, as a matter of
fact I am."

The flight attendant said, "I'm sorry, but you'll have to get
off the plane."

At this point Mr. Gay, who had been watching all of this (and
was rather amused) jumped up and said, "Excuse me, you've made
a mistake. I'm Gay!"

Finally, another man jumped up and said, "Well, hell, I'm gay
too. They can't throw us all off!"


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F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit: 
 
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