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Publication: Classic Laffaday
Like A Man

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       Classic Laff-a-Day - August 12, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was watching TV in Magilla's office when he walked in.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "You're supposed to be gone
for the day."

"I came back, you lazy dickhead. My call with a new agency was
rescheduled for today. Now, instead of you sitting here watching
the golf channel I want you to sit and watch a man ply his
trade. Your father should have taught you how to make an honest
living, but since he was too busy jerking off I'll show you."

The phone rang, he put it on speakerphone and we were all
introduced. Somehow we got on the topic of Pavarotti, and this
guy tells us that he was (past tense) married to an opera

"Oh, man, I can imagine her in bed: 'Is that your DIIIIICCKK?
Put it IIIINNN! That was QUIIIICCKK! You're already DOOOONE?
You suck in BEEEEDDD. I want OOOUUTT. I need a MAAANNN to
fulfill my NEEEEDS. I don't care if he drives a TRUUUUCCKK, but
he has to know how to..."

"Hey, screw you!" the guy shouted over the speakerphone. "Who is
this asshole? I don't need this shit. I went through this once
already, I certainly don't need to relive it."  Click.

Magilla said, "Hello? Hello?" Then he looked at me and I backed
out of the office.




Send me your comments and jokes: 
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The following was sent in in an apparent attempt to help my
wife judge when to pull the chicken out of the oven.

When I found this recipe I thought it was perfect for those 
who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked 
thoroughly but not dried out. Give this a try.

Baked Stuffed Chicken

6-7 lb chicken
1 c melted butter
1 c stuffing
1 c uncooked popcorn 
salt & pepper to taste.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan 
in the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's ass blows 
out the oven door and flies across the room, the chicken is 

A guy with three eyes, no arms, and one leg is hitchhiking.
A British gent pulls over, rolls down the window, and says,
"Aye, aye, aye! You look 'armless! 'op in!"

"My parents used to beat the shit out of me. And, looking
back on it, I'm glad they did. I'm looking forward to beating
the shit out of my own kids, for no reason whatsoever."
     ---Denis Leary

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It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner,
Jake was barking and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.

"It sure is," I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of
the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"


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