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       Classic Laff-a-Day - February 13, 2007
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

Magilla's always parading strange characters through the office.
I think he does it because he has bad memories of his time in
the cage at the zoo, and he figures it's his turn to make every-
one around him uncomfortable. For instance, today he brought in
a motivational speaker who is thinking about advertising his
services in our publications.

"TZ, this is Howard," he said. "Howard, TZ."

"N-n-ni-ni-ni-nice to me-me-me-meet you."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I blurted. "A motivational speaker
who stutters? How do you make a living?"

Magilla stood by watching with a twinkle in his eye.

Howard straightened his tie and said, "M-m-m-m-m-m-mo-mo-mostly
online. V-v-v-v-v-v-v-viiiii-via email, you-you-you-you dick."

I said, "I'm sorry. I thought you were his cousin or something,
and he was putting me on."

"E-e-e-e-e-e-e-even if I was, you'd sti-sti-sti-still be-be-be
a dick."




Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 

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In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for
his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an
acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates,
do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like
you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Test of Three?"

"That's right,"Socrates continued "Before you talk to me about
my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to
say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure
that what you are about to tell me is true?"

No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's
true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of
Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student 
something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad
about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there
is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want
to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is
neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at

The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates
was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also
explains why he never found out that Plato was fucking his wife.

Two blondes are walking along the beach when a seagull comes
along and poops right on the head of one of them.

"Oh dear," she says. "I have bird poop on my head."

"Don't worry," says her friend. "I'll get a tissue...be right

"Don't bother, she says. "He'll be miles away by then."

           GopherCentral's Question of the Week: 

     Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:

Here's What I Think 

How many feminists does it take to help me find jokes?

Two. One to find the jokes and one to suck my dick.

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Here is David Letterman's top ten MacDonald's excuses for
the condom in the Big Mac from a couple of years ago.

10. We were test marketing the new "McRibbed."
9. Condom, Condiment.....What's the damned difference.
8. It still tastes better than the Arch Deluxe.
7. It was either there, or in the vanilla shake.
6. Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese
are true.
5. We're experimenting with a new, even happier meal.
4. Employees too embarrassed to ask "Would you like a
condom with that?"
3. So what? A regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway.
2. Drive-thru speaker broken: "Coke with lots of ice" sounds
like "Prophylactic device."

And the number one MacDonald's Excuse for the Condom in
the Big Mac:

1. When you're serving billions and billions, you can't be
too careful.

           GopherCentral's Question of the Week: 

     Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:

Question of the Week


To see past issues of Classic Laffaday visit our archive at:

Classic Laffaday Archives


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