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Publication: Classic Laffaday
It's Hers, Too

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       Classic Laff-a-Day - July 22, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

"I'm sorry, Honey," I told my wife after not being able to get
and maintain an erection. "It must be from the stress of the

She got up on one elbow and said, "You still want to sue the
little old lady who bumped into your car going 3 miles per hour?
Let it go, TZ. You bumper is barely scratched."

"It's not my bumper that I'm worried about," I said. "It's Bobo.
He's not working as usual. I think the old lady slamming into me
gave me E.D."

"'E.D?'" my wife asked.

"Erectile Dysfunction."

"Well, if she gave you E.D., then I'm going to sue the old




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A band at an Italian wedding decided to take requests. Nunzio
walks up and asks "Uh, do youse guys know da song "Strangers
in da Night?"

The band leader says, "Sure we know that one."

Nunzio says "Hey!  dat's great!  But I got just one favor--
could youse play it in 5/4 time?"

"Isn't it played in 4/4 time?"  the band leader asked.

"Yeah, but dis here's a special occasion, know whut I mean?"

The band discusses amongst themselves, till the leader turns
and says, "I don't think we'll have any problems."

Nunzio turns and yells out "Hey Cousin Anthony! C'mon up here
and sing!"

Anthony walks up to the mike as the band begins the intro
and then starts to sing, "Strangers in da fuckin' night..."

War without France would be like ... um ... World War II.

An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.

The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins?" 

The woman says "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think
they look alike?"

"No," he replies. "I just can't believe you got laid twice."

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An Indian joins the army. As he can't speak English, his friend
joins with him to act as translator. After training they are
sent to war and soon find themselves in the heat of battle.
After a short skirmish they are separated.

The non-English speaking Indian ends up in a fox hole with
three huge marines.

The first marine says to the rest, "I'm not waiting here to
be killed I'm gonna try to make it back to the rest of the

He then jumps out of the foxhole and starts to run across the
field. He gets about fifty yards before he is cut in half by
machine gun fire.

The second marine says, "I agree with him. I'm gonna try to
make it back."

He jumps out of the hole and starts to run. Twenty yards out
he steps on a mine and is blown to bits.

The third and largest marine says, "The hell with this I'm
gonna wait here for the troops to save us."

After trying to talk to the Indian he soon realizes he doesn't
speak English. Thinking Indians know sign language he again
tries to communicate.

Walking his fingers across his hand he asks the Indian, "Are
you in the infantry?"

The Indian just looks at him.

Then putting two fingers together and bringing down in an arc
he asks, "Are you with the paratroopers?"

Still no response.

This time he puts one finger between two on the other hand and
says, "Boom, boom, are you with artillery?"

Again no response.

The marine says, "I know", putting his hands over his eyes to
mimic using binoculars he says, "you're with reconnaissance,

With this the Indian jumps out of the hole and runs like hell.
He zigzags back and forth through the field using any cover he
can find till finally he makes it back to his squad.

There he finds his Indian friend.

His friend asks, "Are you crazy you could have been killed?"

The Indian replies, "My chances better in field than that
foxhole! In the last foxhole, a big marine tell me, 'When
troops go home and moon go down him gonna fuck me up ass till
eyes bug out!'"


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