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       Classic Laff-a-Day - July 3, 2008
                    Laffaday.com 
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

Somebody was giving me grief about a relative of mine who is a
commercial pilot.

"I bet he's a lush," they said.

"Maybe..." I said. "I think he was in the psycho, diaper, go
to the moon when you're wasted astronaut program."

"Well, let's face it, astronauts don't actually do shit. Hell,
I could be an astronaut."

"Yeah, you're probably right. They have sent other monkeys
into space before."

Disparagingly,

P.S.  We won't be publishing again until July 7th. Have a great
4th. And don't drink and drive... There's enough misery in the
world without you having to create more.

TZ 

mailto:tz@laffaday.com 

Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 


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Hey TZ I didn't appreciate you making fun of Albert Einstein
last Friday. The man was a genius. What did you ever do
besides bore the shit out of us? The corn in Albert's shit
had more knowledge than you--no--your whole family has. Jews
can marry their cousins and there is nothing wrong with it
dickhead.
     [Umm, OK.]



This is weird, but interesting...


fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too 

 
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. 


i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to
a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht
oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is
taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset
can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
   [I wonder if Einstein would have been able to read this..?]



"My cousin makes me very excited. She has full breasts and
pouty lips, and she likes to do it doggy-style."
     ---Albert Einstein (I think)



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Three women who were friends in high school have returned to
their hometown to attend their 25th reunion and have lunch
together.
 
Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear
that they are trying to one-up each other.

The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French
Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a
superior demeanor.

The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new
Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.

The third woman says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you,
we don't have much money and we don't have many material
possessions, but 13 canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder
on my husband's erect penis."

After a long silence, the first woman looks shame-faced and
says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying
to impress you. We're not really going to the French Riviera
we're going to my parent's house for two weeks."

The second woman says, "Your honesty has shamed me. To be
honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes -- he bought me
a Taurus."

"Well," the third woman says, "I've got a confession to make.
Canary number 13 has to stand on one leg."


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            *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ *** 

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END OF CLASSIC LAFF-A-DAY: 

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