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Golf Whore

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       Classic Laff-a-Day - June 26, 2008
                    Laffaday.com 
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

I'm writing this early because Magilla and Satan invited
me to play golf with them on Friday. You may think I'm a
hypocrite making fun of them all the time but then going out
and playing golf with them. But hypocrite isn't really the
correct word. Golf whore would be more suitable.

That's right, I am a golf whore. I'd play golf with anyone. If I
bumped into the bully who terrorized me in grade school and he
punched me and then asked if I wanted to go out and play 18--
I'd clap him on the back and say, "Absolutely!"

That's right. If the guy who stole my girlfriend in 8th grade
called me up and wanted to play? I go.

If my brother-in-law stopped by and drawled, "TeeZee, what say
you that we gets out and hit the links?"

I'd say, "Hit the bricks, pal. I think I hear Granny and Uncle
Jed calling."

I mean a person's got to have some standards, right?

Easily,

TZ 

mailto:tz@laffaday.com 

Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 


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On his wedding night Johnson kissed his bride on the forehead
then rolled over and went to sleep. For the next five nights
he never got any closer than an occasional peck on the forehead.

Then came Saturday and Johnson left right after dinner to join
the boys down at the poolroom.

For his wife, this was the last straw and she began to pack her
things.

A few minutes later, Johnson burst into the room, grabbed his
wife, tore off all her clothes, threw her down on the bed and
began making passionate love to her.

"Why, all of a sudden?" she gasped.

"Well," said Johnson, "the boys down at the poolroom told me
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Little Susie ask her mother, "Can I go over to big sister's
house and watch the magic show?"

Mother replied, "Whatever do you mean, dear?"

Susie said, "I heard her tell her room-mate she did six
tricks last night."



Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the
same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to
require a hip replacement.

The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the
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The second sees his family doctor after waiting a week for an
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Why the different treatment for the two patients?

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The second is a Senior Citizen.



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A lawyer was talking to his head of human resources.

"We need to get rid of George," said the mouthpiece. "He’s
entirely overpaid."

"Um, OK," came the nervous HR reply. "What should I
tell him?"

"Tell him the truth," said the ambulance chaser. "Tell him,
‘when we gave you that raise we thought you were going to die
of prostate cancer within the year. Now that you’re in remission
and going to live a normal length life, you’re just too damn
expensive’."

"My God!" she gasped. "You’re heartless."

"Well then, just put it in your own words."


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            *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ *** 

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