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Don't Give Up

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       Classic Laff-a-Day - July 21, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

Are you sick of hearing about the weather in the Midwest yet?
I sure am sick of thinking about it. Thursday we had a couple of
the most nasty thunderstorm systems roar through our area.
Trees, roofs, decks uprooted. Power lines down all over.
Flooding in places that never flooded before.

I heard we broke a 100 year old rain record. We didn't just
barely beat it, either. We doubled it. 

I was frequently checking the sump pump and praying that we
didn't lose power. If we did it would have been curtains for our
basement. Thank God the power stayed on and we didn't have to go
through a huge clean up/replace everything process. All those
poor people whose houses are under water...I just can't imagine.




Send me your comments and jokes: 
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A girl is about to tie the knot, and is watching her mother
bake biscuits in the kitchen. 

"Mom?" she asks. "How do you keep Dad so happy after all these
years of marriage?"

The mother promptly threw a wad of biscuit dough on the floor,
hikes up her dress, and squats down picking the dough up with
her vagina.

"Practice this and when you can do it, I'll guarantee that
your man will be satisfied for the rest of his life," said her

So the girl practiced and practiced until her wedding night.

While her anxious husband waited for her in the bed, she
emerged wearing a sexy negligee, carrying a can of biscuit
dough. She opened the can, threw the dough on the floor,
lifted her negligee, and squatted over the dough, letting out
a thunderous fart as she did so. 

Her husband, startled, jumped from the bed and backed away.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked.

He replied, "Shit woman!" as he stepped further away. "If that
thing barks like that for a biscuit, I sure as hell don't want
to throw any meat at it!"

"In the United States Senate, one of the things I observed 
in the early days - and it's still used - and that is that 
you take someone's argument and then you misrepresent it and 
misstate and disagree with it. And it's very effective. I've 
done it myself a number of times. But eventually, eventually 
people catch on."
     -Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, speaking at the National Press
Club in Washington

Q: What is the definition of a Jewish menage a trois? 

A: Two headaches and a hard-on.

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A man is calling on his best friend to pay a condolence visit
the day after the friend's wife of 30 years has died.

When he knocks on the door, he gets no answer, so he decides
to go in and see if everything is all right. Upon entering the
house, the man discovers his friend in the living room having
sex with the maid.

"Jack", says the man, "Your wife just died yesterday!"

His friend looks up and says, "In this grief, do you think I
know what I'm doing?"


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