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Publication: Classic Laffaday
Better Left Unsaid

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       Classic Laff-a-Day - July 8, 2008
                    Laffaday.com 
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

Back when I was young we traveled in a pack. Six guys and our
varying girlfriends. I remember trying to get one girl to blow
me.

"You know Bill says that Jill is the best at oral sex," I said.
"He said he doubts that any girl can even come close."

"Oh, yeah?" my girl said, "well, I'll show him."

Not-what-I-had-in-mindly,

TZ 

mailto:tz@laffaday.com 

Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 


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"Y'all got any American razor blades in here?" the Texan asked
the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinsons."

"Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been
producing the finest surgical instruments, weapons and razors
since before Waterloo."

"I don't give a damn if they passed them out on Noah's Ark if
they ain't any good," the Texan retorted.

"I can assure you they are very good sir." the peeved druggist
said. "Why just last year my wife swallowed one. It gave her a
tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, circumcised the
gardener, emasculated a neighbour, cut two of a delivery boy's
fingers off at the knuckle and I still got 10 shaves out of it."



Amy and the Ladies were discussing her fight with her boyfriend.

Amy: "And then he thought I owed HIM an apology!"

Marina: "Well, did you give him one?"

Amy: "Oh, yeah. I said, "I'm sorry you're an asshole.'"



"In a new interview, Angelina Jolie said that to prove her
commitment to Brad Pitt, she's decided to give up sleeping
with women. When he heard this, Brad Pitt said, 'Dear God
what have I done?'"
     ---Conan O'Brien



TURTLE KEY HIDER/HOLDER
This Turtle Has A Secret...

Normal Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99 

What a great idea! That's what everyone says about this item. 

Not just an appealing garden statue, this turtle cleverly 
conceals a secret spot to hide your spare key. Tuck near a 
door for a handy hide away. Good for a house or garage key.

Grab one or two while they last. This is an item we made a 
special purchase on and it is Below Cost! Once it sells out 
it is gone forever. Makes a great Housewarming Gift too.

Because of the low price, we must limit you to no more than 
six (6) per order. Check it out by visiting:

Turtle Key Hider/Holder



There was a little boy visiting his grandparents
on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with
out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he
could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged,
he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back
he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck
square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and
grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only
to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she
said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Sally, let's wash
the dishes' But Sally said, 'Grandma, Johnny told me
he wanted to help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered
to him, 'Remember the duck?' So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted
to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need
Sally to help make supper.'

Sally just smiled and said, 'Well that's all right because
Johnny told me he wanted to help'

She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Sally
went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and
Sally's he finally couldn't stand it any longer.

He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed
the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said,
'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the
window and I saw the whole thing, but because
I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how
long you would let Sally make a slave of you.'


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            *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ *** 

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F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit: 
 
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END OF CLASSIC LAFF-A-DAY: 

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