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Publication: Classic Laffaday
As High as Hawking

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       Classic Laff-a-Day - July 17, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

This is not so much funny as it is amazing. Not the Zero G bit,
but Hawking himself. Here you have one of the most gifted men
the world has ever known, but he can't even move. He can't even
speak. But he can think. He can think better than most of us.

A study of quadriplegics found that although most acknowledged
having considered suicide at first, a year after having been
paralyzed only 10 percent considered their lives to be
'miserable'; most considered theirs to be 'good'.

I know Hawking is not a quadriplegic, but you get the picture.

Anyway, this clip got to me--maybe because I'm healthy,
handsome and stupid. I don't know. Check it out at:

Hawking Floats




Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 

Like the Ped Egg, but 1/2 the Price

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By now we've all seen the tv commercial countless time on the
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feet. So gentle, it will not even burst a balloon. Safe to the 
touch and easy, no mess disposal.

- Comfortable ergonomic design 
- Over 135 stainless steel micro files 
- No mess- collects shavings 
- Safe to the touch 
- Includes 2 emery finishing pads 

At these affordable prices you can pick up a few.


The Cats' Bill Of Rights

1. Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of
boundaries or prohibiting the free exercise therein, or
abridging the freedom of access, or the right to peaceful
assembly. In other words: The cat is entitled to go outside
anytime s/he wants.

2. A well-carried provisional chamber, being necessary to the
fulfillment of a feline's whims, shall not be infringed. In
other words: The cat is entitled to EAT anytime s/he wants.

3. The right of the feline to be secure in their domain, and
effects, against unreasonable discomposure, shall not be
violated. In other words: The cat is entitled to SLEEP anytime
s/he wants.

4. Humans shall issue no warrants or decrees or edicts as
prescribed to the demarcation of possessions or property which
are in direct conflict with right of life, liberty, and the
pursuit of feline affirmation. In other words: The cat is
entitled to sleep ANYWHERE s/he wants.

5. The feline shall be immune to all criminal accusations,
indictments, and complaints. The accused shall enjoy the right
to a speedy and impartial dismissal of any and all charges 
provided said feline's compulsory right to obtain any or all
witnesses, including character witnesses, are obtained in his
favor. In other words: Cats can do anything they want as long
as they're cute.

6. Neither serfdom, vassalage, or involuntary servitude will be
tolerated, except by said cats in proprietorship of their humans.
In other words: What I say goes. (And I can sleep on your face.)

7. No Canis familiaris shall, in time of peace or at any other
time, be quartered in any dwelling without the consent of the
potentate, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed
by sovereign. In other words: No dogs in the house without my

8. The right of the feline to be protected against unreasonable
search and seizures shall not be breached or infringed upon at
any time or any place. In other words: Don't disturb me when I
am sleeping in a drawer.

Is it time to see without glasses? It's never been easier
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And remember...

"Half of analysis is anal."
     ---Marty Indik


Normal Price: $19.99

Plain and simple this is one heck of a deal. Discounted 
below cost, you'll want to pick up a couple. Makes a
great gift. Check it out by visiting:

Briefcase/Laptop Bag

"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance."
     ---Plato (427? - 347 B.C.)

"Plato was a bore."
     ---Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal."
     ---Leo Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about
what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father
replies: ``My son, there are three subjects that always work.
These are food, family, and philosophy.''

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice
cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a
long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his
father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the
girl: ``Do you like potato pancakes?'' She says ``No,'' and
the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his
father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list.
He asks, ``Do you have a brother?'' Again, the girl says,
``No'' and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's
advice and asks the girl the following question: ``If you
had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?'' 


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