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       Classic Laff-a-Day - June 3, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

I called a buddy of mine who thinks he's funny. I got his voice-
mail and it was in heavily accented German.

"Da, dis is Sigmund Freud de Father of Psychiatry. Please leave
a message und I will contact you at my convenience. I apologize
for not being available, but I am busy eating my mother--I mean
supper. Goodbye."




Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 

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Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were
Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.

Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was
sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but
Nobody did it.

When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was
Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized
that Nobody would do it.

So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what
Anybody could have done in the first place.

"The new candies get their names from things people exclaim,
like, "Bonkers!" or "Nerds!" And I got to thinking...wouldn't
it be funny if they based a line of candy on something my dad
exclaims frequently? I don't know about you, but I'd get a kick
out of candy called, 'Where's the Damned Scotch!'"
     ---Bob Oshack

"My orgies are like the Special Olympics. Lot's of drooling,
but everybody's a winner."
     ---Matt Weinhold

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I was walking out of Starbucks this morning, and a beautiful
woman of about fifty was getting out of her Mercedes SL 500
convertible. There were a couple of painters sitting in a van
eating, staring at the lady. As soon as she was out of earshot,
one of the guys said, "I wonder how many times she had to take
it up the ass to get that thing."

I was appalled. I went up to the van and stood looking at them
through the open window. "Hey," I said. "Just because a woman
drives an expensive car doesn’t mean she has to take it up the
ass to get it."

The just looked at me a bit embarrassed, not sure what to say.

I continued, "No, anal sex isn’t the only way for women to get
nice things, blow jobs work, too."


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