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I'd Win at Log Rolling

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       Classic Laff-a-Day - August 8, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was in Magilla's office trying to get the afternoon off so
I could go golfing with some old friends, when Satan walked in.

"Where've you been?" Magilla asked.

"I had to run home to go to the washroom," she whispered.

"Run home to go to the washroom?" he asked. "You can't go here?"

"Shh! Be quiet...No, I can only go at home."

"I guess my wife's the same way," Magilla said, "but it's easier
on her because she doesn't work."

"My wife's like that, too," I jumped in. "Not me, though. I can
shit anywhere. I'll shit right here. I'll shit on your desk if
you want me to."

Magilla said, "Why don't you get the fuck out of here."




Send me your comments and jokes: 
Submit a Comment 

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How about a few Brain Teasers:

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between
three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is
full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of
lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water
for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later
they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?

3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you
put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or
any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray
when you throw it away?

5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or

6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you
can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you
would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong
with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it,
but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it
a bit, you might find out.

Sorry, I don’t have the answers to these... Just kidding.

1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her
husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice
in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from
which jug.

4. The answer is Charcoal.

5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

6. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the
English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.

An applicant for a job with the federal government was filling 
out the application form.

He came to this question: "Do you favor the overthrow of the
United States government by force, subversion, or violence?"

Thinking it was a multiple-choice question, he checked "Violence."

Girl: You remind me of the sea.
Boy: Why? Because I'm so wild, romantic and unpredictable?
Girl: No. Because you make me sick.

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Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule
here in heaven... Don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all
over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman
accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the
ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and
says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend
eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck.
Along comes St. Peter with another extremely ugly man. He chains
them together with the same punishment as the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be
chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful
where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on
any ducks. Then, one day, St. Peter comes up to her with the
most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on... tall, muscular 
and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together without
saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained
to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped
on a duck."


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