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Publication: Classic Bizarre
The fall of man draws near.

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CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Tuesday, April 17, 2007
"A wild journey into the history of the most
bizarre stories EVER."



IMPORTANT NOTE: Dear Classic Bizarre readers, we are merging
Classic Bizarre back into the regular Bizarre News list.
This will be your last issue of this publication. If you are
NOT subscribed to Bizarre News you will enjoy it just as much
as Classic Bizarre, except the stories will be a little more
timely. If you already are subscribed to BN don't worry, any
duplicate email addresses will be deleted so you will not
receive multiple issues. Thank you all for reading and I will
see you in the next issue of Bizarre News! -Lewis


Greetings fellow Bizarros:

How do we know that our country is going to hell? Who's respon-
sible, Johnny Knoxville, Anna Nicole Smith, George Bush? Ac-
cording to approximately 1,000 readers, that big-breasted bumb-
ling bimbo Anna Nicole is the final sign of the apocolypse.

Not only is it bad enough that she has her own show, but
America seems to love it so much that she's coming back for
more next season. Apparently good old G.W. Bush is going to
have to try a little harder to push this country down the

One recent tidbit of information not included on the poll, but
in hindsight would have been, is the California Milk Processor
Board's decision to turn one California town name to Got Milk?,
California. This extreme marketing ploy shows us one more reason
why the fall of man draws near.

Therefore, in light of all this insanity, I've put together a
new poll for this week regarding bizarre slogan-based city
names. Head on over to the bizarre news website and cast your
vote for the most bizarre slogan city. I've done my best to
match the slogan with an appropriate state, so let me know what
you think.



P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum

+--------------------- Bizarre American -------------------+

Hornyhead Branch, Alabama

Blue Ball, Delaware

Santa Claus, Georgia

Gay Head, Massachusetts

Hoop and Hollar, Texas

Intercourse, Pennsylvania

Big Ugly, West Virginia

Jackass Acres, Arizona

Bitch Mountain, New York

Idiotville, Oregon

Hell, Michigan

Cumback, Indiana

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----------------- RUSSIAN MIRACLE FORMULA ------------------

The Russians have developed a formula extracted from pig
brains that is said to delay aging and improve brain power.
When Thailand's Prime Minister, Thanksim Shinawatra, found
out about the elixer on a recent trip to Russia, he was so
excited about it he instructed the Ministry of Science and
Technology to create a Thai version of it. He believes the
successful production of it could boost tourism in the
country. An interesting approach none the less.


Normal Price: $19.99

We are pleased to announce that we have found Full-Size 3'x5'
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before at these low prices.

Made of durable polyester with two (2) metal grommets perfect
for displaying.

Its a great time to stock up AND pick up a couple for gifts,
but there is a LIMIT of 8 per order. NO DEALERS PLEASE...
VISIT: Liquidation Special - USA Flags

----------------- STEALING VANILLA EXTRACT -----------------

Grocery stores in Pennsylvania are taking vanilla extract
off their shelves after owners found thieves were stealing
it to get drunk. Apparently, Bill Jones, manager of Boyer's
Food Market kept finding empty boxes and bottles in the par-
king lot. At first he thought they had been previously pur-
chased, but later discovered they were being stolen for their
high alcohol content. The owners of the store were forced to
keep the vanilla extract behind the customer service counter.
Elizabeth Peroni, spokeswoman for the Pennsylvania Food Mer-
chants Association said, "I'd heard of people stealing baby
formula to get money for drugs," she said. "But this is a
new one." [Really?]

GopherCentral's Question of the Week

Who is your favorite canidate for each political party?

Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:


Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
**--- BIZARRE PHOTO ---**
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Archive link: Classic Bizarre Archives

Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

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