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Publication: Classic Bizarre
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CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Tuesday, March 20, 2007
"A wild journey into the history of the most
bizarre stories EVER."

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Greetings fellow Bizarros:

IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH: Straight from Finland...Bizarre News
may actually be BENEFICIAL to your HEALTH!

That's right, discriminating reader. Top Finnish researchers
at the University of Helsinki have determined that reading
Bizarre News may, under certain circumstances, SAVE YOUR
LIFE!

Investigators found that people who reported persistent
stress due to high work demands, low job security, or few
career opportunities had the same level of risk for fatal
heart attacks as people who smoke and do not exercise.

Even the American Heart Association (AHA) acknowledged that
stress management benefits overall health. AHA spokesman
Philip Greenland said it is quite possible that job strain
could contribute to heart disease.

The life or death question becomes...how can you REDUCE YOUR
STRESS AT WORK? The answer: Bizarre News!

The AHA also pointed out that the biggest risk factors for
heart disease are still smoking, high blood pressure, and
high cholesterol. However, after taking into account these
risk factors, the Finnish researchers found that employees
who reported high job strain were twice as likely to die
from heart disease as workers who did not feel stressed.

Don't take the chance. Make sure you read your Bizarre News
every day and reduce your stress.

Bizarrely,

Lewis


P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum
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--------------------- Bizarre Medical ----------------------
FACTS

Many diseases occur with disproportionate frequency in cer-
tain ethnic groups. For example, 43 percent of the persons
suffering from Gilles de la Tourette syndrome are Ashkenazi
Jews from Eastern European origin. Tourettes is classified
by multiple tics, involuntary movements and uncontrollable
impulses to be foul-mouthed (coprolalia). Also, sickle-cell
anemia is most prominent among African Americans.

Sugar from, the urine of a diabetic is identical to grape
sugar. Michel Eugene Chevreul, a French chemist, discovered
this fact in 1815, which was the first step towards recog-
nizing diabetes as a disease of sugar metabolism.

Responses to the plague began to emerge in some societies in
the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries. In Germany, Flagellants
arose. They attempted to appease the wrath of God by beating
one another and themselves profusely.

In England, from about the fifteenth to the seventeenth cen-
turies, the color red was thought to have healing power. The
sick or ailing were dressed in red nightgowns and surrounded
by as many red objects as possible to bring down fevers.


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------------------------------------------------------------


----------------------- Love Bites -------------------------

CALIFORNIA - Some people are so adorable that you could
just eat 'em up. Unfortunately for a 65-year-old Cali-
fornia man, his sex-starved wife took the cliche a little
too seriously. After Arthur Pratt had denied his wife's
request to make love, Kelli attacked her husband with teeth
of fury. During her assault, Kelli managed to tear out two
huge chunks of flesh from her elderly husband's chest. When
police arrived on the scene after Arthur's frantic 911 call,
Kelli was found "with blood all over her mouth from the
bites." Six days after the ravenous onslaught, Arthur
passed away from a heart attack. In an effort to take a
bite out of crime, police may prosecute Kelli on a homicide
charge, pending a coroner's investigation.


---------------- A Reading From The Profit -----------------

GALLARATE, Italy - A 23-year-old Italian man is going to have
a tough time getting through the pearly gates when his time
comes. The unnamed man has been arrested after being charged
for pretending to be the substitute of a priest who was on a
pilgrimage. The former cook held mass for an entire week in
the absence of the parish priest of village Gallarate. Daily
masses were held by the Christian con before fleeing with over
$1,200 of parishioners' donations. Lord only knows what the
future holds for this young man.


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------------------------------------------------------------


--------- Future Brides Forced To Squat On Brooms ----------

SERBIA - Guys, before you say "I do", it's a good idea to
double-check and make sure your bride-to-be is not a witch.
Superstitious grooms in Serbia are using broomsticks to check
whether their brides are witches. The test conducted at
Djundjerski Castle in Kulpin involves weighing women and then
weighing them again sitting on a broomstick. If they weigh more
the second time around, they are not being supported by the
broomstick and "certainly not a witch." To make it official,
certificates are issued to non-witches. However, many men claim
they don't need any test to tell them that their wife is a
real witch.
[And what do we do with witches?]


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GopherCentral's Question of the Week

Do you think that "Scooter" Libby should be pardoned
for his conviction of lying to the Grand Jury?

Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
Gophercentral.com
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Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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**--- BIZARRE PHOTO ---**
Looking for an image that will burn into your psyche forever?
Find the Bizarre photo of the week at:
http://www.bizarrenews.com
************************************************************
Not Enough Bizarre In This Issue? Then Visit EVTV1.com:
Bizarre Videos

Archive link: Classic Bizarre Archives

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MORE FUN, AMUSEMENT AND PUBS: More F-R-E-E Newsletters Here

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END OF CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS
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Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

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