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Publication: Classic Bizarre
Prison beauty contest.

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   <<<<<<<<<<< From the Bizarre News Archives >>>>>>>>>>>

CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Tuesday, March 6, 2007
"A wild journey into the history of the most
bizarre stories EVER."

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Did you hear this one? A women's prison in Lithuania is
planning a beauty contest. The name, appropriately enough,
is Miss Captivity.

The Panevezys Penal Labor Colony, the country's only female
prison, holds more than 1,000 prisoners, including convicted
murders. But that doesn't mean beauty isn't at least skin

Top Lithuanian fashion designers will make the contestants'
clothes and local dignitaries will serve as the judges,
selecting a winner based on "beauty and elegance."

In addition to what many might see as the dubious honor of
being crowned Miss Captivity, the winner and runners-up will
qualify for cash and prizes, though they'd only receive them
after completing their jail terms.

Prison officials said participating detainees would be excused
from working in the penitentiary's sewing factory during the
week of the contest. What? No cigarettes?

Also, the Bizarre News poll is still up!

Jesse Ventura is leading with 141 votes along with Katie Couric
from the Today Show with 113 votes. Please don't tell me you
women think Jesse Ventura is better-looking than, say, Brian
Williams from MSNBC!

Although I think Katie Couric is a pretty close tie with Paula
Zahn, I had to vote for Katie. The poll is still up so don't
hesitate to cast your vote!



P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...

Classic Bizarre Forum

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-------------- Till Death Do Us... Nevermind --------------

CHILE - Efforts have been put forth by designer Joaquin
Ortuzar to keep couples together forever... and ever. The
luxury coffin designer has manufactured a deluxe casket that
allows couples to be layed to rest together. For roughly
$1,860, the satin and cotton lined catafalque allows those
who have parished together to be immortalized together. Al-
though its size prohibits transportation in a normal hearse,
Ortuzar claims that eight people should be able to carry it
comfortably. This creative idea allows couples who grow
together to decompose together.

------------ Chinese Alcohol Has A Wicked Bite -------------

CHINA - When arriving at the bottom of a tequila bottel after
a long night with the guys, someone is always dared to take
down the worm. However, very rarely, if ever, does the worm
fight back. In China, alcoholic drinks such as rice wine
contain preserved snakes or other creatures in place of the
ever-popular worm. As a man named Li cracked open a bottle
during his lunch break, the pickled snake lunged out of the
bottle and bit him in the neck. The victim was taken to a
hospital where he was not believed to be in any danger. Ac-
cording to the Xin Bao newspaper, the bottle's stopper was
made from wood or cork and allowed air in the vessel, helping
the snake to survive in the bottle for a year.

------------ No More Shisha Smoking For Workers ------------

CAIRO - Governor Adel Labib of Quena, Egypt has banned shisha
waterpipe smoking in coffee shops after he started noticing
people who should have been working were instead sitting in
cafes and smoking "hubble-bubbly" pipes. Shisha smoking is
popular among men and women in Egypt, with coffe shops sell-
ing apple, strawberry and rose flavored tobacco. Labib hopes
the ban will stop employees from skipping work. Cafes which
violate the ban will be fined $108 and will be closed down.
Smokers will also be fined.

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GopherCentral's Question of the Week

Will President Bush be a valuable asset to
Republicans in the 2008 elections?

Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
Question of the Week

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Thank You for going 5-days-a-week! You won't regret it, and
I'm sure your sponsors won't either. Bizarre news is the best
thing Shagmail has to offer. Other than hanging Chadwick by
his testicles.
[Hmmm...I'm thinking pay-per-view...]

Awarding Jimmy Carter the Nobel peace prize is one more step
in making this the international dingbat award. -Lenny

Why is that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life
in the universe are pointed away from Earth?

Carter finally won the peace prize, huh? The lucky bastard.
I'd KILL to win the Nobel Peace Prize!

Umm...Lewis? What sort of piece are we talking about here?
[Go to www.bizarrenews.com and find out!]

Isn't five days a week a bit much....I think that's all the
bizarre I can tolerate. Maybe you should go bond with your
familly or something. -Sharon
[Funny, they're the ones who suggested I spend a little more
time in the office.]

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
**--- BIZARRE PHOTO ---**
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Archive link: Classic Bizarre Archives




Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

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