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Publication: Classic Bizarre
Office costume contest.

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   <<<<<<<<<<< From the Bizarre News Archives >>>>>>>>>>>

CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Tuesday, April 10, 2007
"A wild journey into the history of the most
bizarre stories EVER."

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It's the night before Halloween and I'm taking a break
from frantically surfing the web to come up with a good costume
idea for tomorrow's office costume contest. I wasn't even
all that interested in the whole affair until I read a couple
of very interesting news tidbits this afternoon.

One article observed that adult costumes, women's in particular,
are deviating from the scary and evolving toward the slutty.
Store owners and Internet searches indicate that more female
costumes are becoming increasingly raunchy.

Even this isn't all that news-worthy except for another, seem-
ingly unrelated item I found on the internet. Recent research
indicates that women are more sexually adventurous during
ovulation and, thus, are more prone to more sexual activity
even up to cheating on their spouse. So what does this all

Tomorrow may be one of the most interesting work days of the
year! All of a sudden I find my focus being deterred from my
costume to the thought of fellow female co-workers in liquid
latex and Catholic school girl outfits. No married man should
have to endure this. I may find out a little more about some
ladies around here tomorrow, like which ones are ovulating.



P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum

Takashi MP4 Player - Lowest Price Ever...

Store Price: $99.99
DEAL PRICE: $59.99

Here's an item that our Gopher Staff went crazy over. Every day
I got tired of hearing... when are the MP4 players coming in.

Well they're here and in stock... for how long I don't know.
The price is the lowest I have ever seen.

If you're not sure what an MP4 player is... it's an MP3 player
that ALSO plays videos. The Takashi Complete MP4 Player has it
all... Here are just some of the features:

- 2 users can listen at same time via the dual earphone jacks.
- FM station Radio
- 1 gigabyte of storage.
- Plays up to 6 hours of music or 4 hours of video.
- Stores up to 250 songs, or 15,000 photos.
- The 6 in 1 system plays MP3 music, movie videos, stores data,
plus serves as photo album, digital voice recorder and more.

To see a picture, get more details or order this amazing MP4
player, visit: Takashi 1GIG MP4 Player - $59.99

--------------- Grown Men Go Monster Hunting ---------------

OSLO - The hunt is on for the cousin of the world's most not-
orious monster. An international team of monster hunters unv-
eiled a giant trap to capture a fabled serpent, described as
the cousin of Scotland's Loch Ness monster, in a lake in south
Norway. The trap is an 18-foot-long, tube-shape, comprised of
a metal frame with nylon netting. The team plans to dangle the
cage in the lake over a two week period. Once the creature is
captured, they will "take a DNA sample, document the serpent
and then release it into the lake." The beast has been descr-
ibed as a serpent with the head of an elk or a horse. The only
thing scarier than the serpent is the idea that men from all
over the world are patiently waiting with their giant trap to
capture a "monster."


Store Price: $69.99

The name says it all... You'll be the envy of everyone with
These high-quality Dakota Sunglasses simply named... ENVY.

And our competitors are downright envious of the price we
are offering to GopherCentral readers... How can we do it?
We work closely with the manufacturer and sometimes they
have an overrun in production. We made a promise that we
would take ALL the over-runs... no matter how big or small
and we would pass the savings onto our readers!

Grab a pair or two while the supplies last. Once they are
gone... they are gone. To see a picture, get more info or
order, visit our site at: ENVY SUNGLASSES by Dakota

------------------ The Death Of The Party ------------------

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. - An Indiana man came up with a good scare
tactic for his next Halloween party. While Nick Yinger was
roaming the waste ground behind a petrol station, he stumbled
upon a coffin filled with human bones. Yinger then placed it
in the front seat of his car and drove it to his house. Not
realizing the bones actually belonged to a former human being,
(he thought they were fake) he said that, "It looked pretty
cool." Upon a friend's advice, Yinger finally called the pol-
ice. Authorities are trying to dig up some clues as to where
the remains came from and who they belong to.

GopherCentral's Question of the Week

Who is your favorite canidate for each political party?

Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:


Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Dear Lewis, after reading this article I am convinced that
when we can't even let a dog jump out of an airplane, the
terrorists have won. -Stephanie
[Actually, the dog is strapped to the sky-diver in a tandem
jump type of arrangement. It's not like he's going to pull
the cord himself.]

Uhh, Lewis? "Big enough to play with and small enough to
carry." Are you still talking about the chess set? -Adam
[In this instance...yes.]

Very clever marketing ploy. Getting sucked in to that chess
story made me feel used and kinda dirty. -Merrilee
[Well...why don't you take your mind off it with an engros-
sing game of chess? Just make sure your queen doesn't get
jumped by too many knights.]

The only thing worse then Jackass is that it seems to be a
"reality" movie. I'm not sure if it's worse to be the
jackasses doing these ridiculous things or the millions of
jackasses paying around 8 dollars to go see this piece of

Dearest Lewis...sometimes you have impeccable insight on
things, but the movie Jackass you don't. I never laughed so
hard in all my life and I generally don't like shows like
that. But after seeing the making of it, curiousity lured
me to the theater where I nearly peed my pants laughing so
hard. --Jen
[There's a warning here folks. The people who enjoy this
kind of thing appear to be incontinent!]

The only thing worse than Jackass the movie is Jackass the

Lewis, I just subscribed to Laff-a-day recently and I have
a question about TZ. Is he really illiterate? -Kris
[A lot of people seem to think so...but it's not true!
He's actually published a book. If you like his style of
humor you might want to check it out. We did a promotion
recently where you can get it for free. Check it out below.]
Free Laffaday Book

Hi, Where can I find a complete list of the monthly holidays?
Thank you, bonnie
[Recently I've been putting the holidays on the web page at
www.bizarrenews.com ]

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
**--- BIZARRE PHOTO ---**
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Archive link: Classic Bizarre Archives

Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

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