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Publication: Classic Bizarre
Juvenile hyperglycemia.

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CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Friday, April 13, 2007
"A wild journey into the history of the most
bizarre stories EVER."

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Greetings fellow Bizarros:

What an exhausting night. I spent four hours in a rubber
mask while the neighborhood delinquents extorted candy
from me. My wife and I have an arrangement: she decorates
the house and takes the kids around the block while it's
my job to stay at home and contribute to the epidemic of
juvenile hyperglycemia.

We learned our lesson three years ago. Instead of staying
home on Halloween we took the boys to a party at a friends
house and were gone most of the evening. By the time we
came home the windows were covered with eggs, the door was
covered in shaving cream and the trees and bushes were
filled with toilet paper. Of course, the neighborhood we
live in now is a little more quiet, but no matter where I
live I'm not turning my house over to an army of prepub-
escents with hyperactivity disorder on the one night out
of the year when they have carte blanche to commit
vandalism.

So, every time the doorbell rang I put on my Frankenstein
mask and went through the routine. I burned through one
bag of Kit Kats, one bag of bite-sized Snickers, one bag
of bite-sized Milky Ways and two rolls of quarters.
The pickings were getting pretty slim toward the end. I
thought I was going to have to start passing out slices
of left-over lasagna when my wife finally came back.
She didn't want to run out to the store so I supplemented
my candy supply with what the boys brought back. They
shouldn't be eating it anyway.

Bizarrely,

Lewis


P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum
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+-------------------- Bizarre November --------------------+
HOLIDAYS

November 1 is Plan Your Epitaph Day

November 2 is National Deviled Egg Day

November 3 is Sandwich Day and Housewife's Day

November 4 is Waiting For The Barbarians Day

November 5 is Gunpowder Day

For more bizarre November Holidays check out the Web site:
http://www.bizarrenews.com

***


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--------------------- Insult To Injury ---------------------

DIEZ, Germany - Sometimes it pays to own poor quality prod-
ucts. A disappointed thief in Germany changed his mind after
he broke into a man's car with thoughts of stealing the stereo.
When the owner returned to his vehicle, he found two things:
his car had been broken into and a note on the driver's seat.
The badly spelled note read: "Your radio's s*&@! Not worth
stealing!" It was unclear whether the car owner was offended
by, or gracious towards, the criminal.


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JUMBO POP-UP HAMPER

Normal Price: $4.99
DEAL PRICE: $1.99

Okay, I LOVE these. And I use them for just about everything.
With the warm weather coming, they are great for outdoors.
I love to put all the pool toys in them. It allows for them
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Get a few of them. You can use them for so many things. Ideal
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---------------- Tree-Dweller Gets Evicted -----------------

CALIFORNIA - After 12 long years of living in his beloved
California home, a 58-year-old man is being forced out. In
order to fulfill his self-entitled duties as guardian of the
San Mateo County mountain's lupines, owls and mission blue
butterflies, Besh Serdahely built his carefully-crafted home
in the niche of a huge coastal oak for himself and his wife.
Unbeknownst to him, Serdahely's treehouse was located on
county, not state, property, as previously believed. Unfor-
tunately, it is illegal to live in a county park in Calif-
ornia. Perhaps he can find himself a nice hole or cave on
state land for him and his love-bird to nest in.


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GopherCentral's Question of the Week

Who is your favorite canidate for each political party?

Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
Gophercentral.com

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored


Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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**--- BIZARRE PHOTO ---**
Looking for an image that will burn into your psyche forever?
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Bizarre Videos

Archive link: Classic Bizarre Archives
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END OF CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS
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