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Publication: Classic Bizarre
Juvenile hyperglycemia.

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CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Friday, April 13, 2007
"A wild journey into the history of the most
bizarre stories EVER."


Greetings fellow Bizarros:

What an exhausting night. I spent four hours in a rubber
mask while the neighborhood delinquents extorted candy
from me. My wife and I have an arrangement: she decorates
the house and takes the kids around the block while it's
my job to stay at home and contribute to the epidemic of
juvenile hyperglycemia.

We learned our lesson three years ago. Instead of staying
home on Halloween we took the boys to a party at a friends
house and were gone most of the evening. By the time we
came home the windows were covered with eggs, the door was
covered in shaving cream and the trees and bushes were
filled with toilet paper. Of course, the neighborhood we
live in now is a little more quiet, but no matter where I
live I'm not turning my house over to an army of prepub-
escents with hyperactivity disorder on the one night out
of the year when they have carte blanche to commit

So, every time the doorbell rang I put on my Frankenstein
mask and went through the routine. I burned through one
bag of Kit Kats, one bag of bite-sized Snickers, one bag
of bite-sized Milky Ways and two rolls of quarters.
The pickings were getting pretty slim toward the end. I
thought I was going to have to start passing out slices
of left-over lasagna when my wife finally came back.
She didn't want to run out to the store so I supplemented
my candy supply with what the boys brought back. They
shouldn't be eating it anyway.



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+-------------------- Bizarre November --------------------+

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DIEZ, Germany - Sometimes it pays to own poor quality prod-
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When the owner returned to his vehicle, he found two things:
his car had been broken into and a note on the driver's seat.
The badly spelled note read: "Your radio's s*&@! Not worth
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---------------- Tree-Dweller Gets Evicted -----------------

CALIFORNIA - After 12 long years of living in his beloved
California home, a 58-year-old man is being forced out. In
order to fulfill his self-entitled duties as guardian of the
San Mateo County mountain's lupines, owls and mission blue
butterflies, Besh Serdahely built his carefully-crafted home
in the niche of a huge coastal oak for himself and his wife.
Unbeknownst to him, Serdahely's treehouse was located on
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week

Who is your favorite canidate for each political party?

Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:


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Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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