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Publication: Classic Bizarre
Cigars for the reception

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Classic Bizarre - Cigars for the Reception
<<<<<<<<<<< From the Bizarre News Archives >>>>>>>>>>>

CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Tuesday, March 13, 2007
"A wild journey into the history of the most
bizarre stories EVER."
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:

One of the college interns who has been part-timing for the
company for the past two years is finally graduating and get-
ting married. So she invited most of the staff to her wedding.
Since the ceremony is this afternoon I'm taking a half day.

I'm going to make this column short since I have to run half-
way around the city before the wedding. I have to pick up my
wife, drop off the boys, plus stop by the tobacconist to pick
up a few cigars for the reception.

TZ, from whom I usually pilfer my supply, is once again deter-
mined to quit smoking them. So his stock has dwindled to the
last few, black-leafed, Turkish cigars that his uncle Mac buys
for him. He quits about once a year and it usually takes him a
week or two to start up again. So until then it looks like I'm
back on my own dime.

While I'm busting my hump on the city streets I'll leave you
with a little Bizarre News to get your day started.

Bizarrely,

Lewis


P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum
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------- High Heels and Socks: Ultimate Aphrodisiacs --------

TEL AVIV - A 33-year-old man has been arrested by Isreali
police after they found 205 pairs of ladies shoes, as well
as socks and undergarments, in his attic. Apparently, the man
got his kicks stealing and sniffing the shoes and socks of
his female colleagues. He would take the keys of his co-wor-
kers, make copies of them and then go to their houses when
they weren't home. The man was caught after 14 women reported
missing shoes, and a private investigation agency planted one
of their female detectives as a new employee at the high-tech
company where he worked. Police say the man would get sexually
aroused by smelling the shoes, and then he would swap stories
and shoes with men who have the same fetish over the Internet.


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---------------------- Frozen Hooter -----------------------

Pet shop supervisor Jamie Ansley, 25, of Canterbury, England
was beside himself when his pet owl Olly died 18 months ago.
So Ansley now keeps him in a plastic shroud at the bottom of
his freezer cabinet, with instructions in his will that the
bird must be buried beside him when he dies. He is aware he
has a few good years to go yet, but insists that wherever
they put him to rest will be Olly's final resting place too.
Not all who knew Olly are as attached to the bird as Ansley
is. He reports that his, "mates think I'm bonkers."


------------- The Job-N-Nod 2002, New Edition --------------

German engineer Matthias Knigge has designed a desk that
converts into a giant pillow for all the hard-working (or
hard-slacking) office workers of the world that need a quick
snooze in the middle of their work day. A prototype of the
desk, made out of walnut, looks ordinary until a small button
is pressed underneath that activates a fan that inflates a
bright orange airbag which unfolds through an opened panel on
the desktop. Knigge hopes his "airbag table" doesn't inspire
people to work longer hours. He thinks it's good for people
to get out of the office after a while and get a life.


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------------------------------------------------------------
GopherCentral's Question of the Week

Do you think that "Scooter" Libby should be pardoned
for his conviction of lying to the Grand Jury?

Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
Question of the Week

------------------------------------------------------------

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

The winner of the lithuanian prison beauty contest will be
named Miss Captivity? Perhaps they should call her Miss
Demeanor. -Zeus


what exactly is the tequila worm? --natalie
[In the really authentic Mexican tequilas they put a certain
type of worm in the bottle before sealing it. The theory goes
that over time the worm will soak up a concentrated amount of
alcohol. That way the person who takes the last drink from
the bottle and swallows the worm will demonstrate him or her-
self to be a person of extraordinary stupidity.]


Lewis, Mezcal is the popular mexican drink that has a worm in
it and not Tequila. If you ever see a worm in a Tequila bottle
it probably needs to attend a AA meeting. Saludos, Guillermo
[There you go, Natalie.]


lewis, Just how many 4 month fiscal quarters are there in a
fiscal year? --acknack
[According to me or according to our accounting company...
Arthur Anderson?]


This is for Lenny who said that giving Jimmy Carter the Nobel
Peace Prize is one more step in making this the international
dingbat award. Carter has been building houses for Habitat
for Humanity for years. He has remained in the news because
of his humanitarian work through the years. Lenny, what have
you done? -Myra
[Lenny?]


Hey Lewis, Love the new 5 days a week format. Yours is the
only e-publication I read on a regular basis...plus I can
enjoy it with a minimum amount of thought, which comes in
handy for someone like me with phronemophobia. --Nicholas
[I'm glad to hear it. Hopefully it will also help you with
your Eurotophobia.]


------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
------------------------------------------------------------
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Find the Bizarre photo of the week at:
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Archive link: Classic Bizarre Archives
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END OF CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS
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Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

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