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Publication: Up Yours!
Finally someone made some sense.

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            UP YOURS! - Saturday, October 7, 2006
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Dear Miscreants, 

Finally, some sense is being discussed in the area of 
education. Now that school kids are starting to off each 
other like it's the national pastime one lawmaker has 
stood up and proposed an idea that we have all probably 
been thinking about anyway...arming teachers with guns. 

Wisconsin state representative Frank Lasee wants to make 
it legal for teachers and other staff to carry guns. The 
Republican realizes his proposal is extreme. But, he says 
it's a concept that has worked well in other countries, 
like Israel and Thailand, so why not Wisconsin?

Why not indeed? 

"When you can make someone think twice about doing some-
thing like that or be very concerned about 'Gee, I don't 
know what classroom is going to have someone who's armed 
and who may return fire' I think that's a good thing," 
says Lasee.

I'd like to see some little punk waltz into a classroom 
and start waving around his daddy's service revolver when 
he knows Ms. Crabapple is packing a .357 caliber stainless 
steel Smith & Wesson in her girdle.

And imagine what it would do for attendance, tardiness and 
grade point averages. Sure, to start out with you're going 
to have a lot of flesh wounds, maybe a few limbs blown off, 
do you know how hard it is to graze an eight-year-old arm 
with a large caliber round? But pretty soon the little 
bastards would start to get the idea. And think of the 
benefits! Teachers could deliver lines like, "Go ahead, 
do your homework." while staring down the barrel of a .45 
semi-automatic. How cool would that be? 

So my recommendation is to write a letter immediately to 
your congressman or woman and demand that teachers be 
given the right to carry concealed weapons in the class-
room. 

And in the meantime you can start by beating your little 
ankle-biters regularly.

I need a drink, 

Chadwick

P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Up Yours! Forum


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><><><><><> CHADWICK'S FAVORITE HISTORICAL INSULTS <><><><><>

"Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their
children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become
lesbians." 
 - Pat Robertson at the 1992 GOP Presidential Convention 

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER'S COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Hi Chad - What sort of music do you like to make love to...
scratch that...dance to...scratch that...(teehee) like to 
listen to?  If that's too subtle a question to answer, just 
name any performers or bands that appeal to you and I'll 
get it. --lynnie 
[I don't like to listen to music while I fuck because then 
I can't hear all the squishy noises and the gasps of pain 
and the manicured nails clutching the bedsheets and the 
nylon ropes.]


I watched the video of the Japanese tongue twister tv show 
and couldn't help but think "what the fuck IS THIS?" Damn! 
Those Japanese are into some wierd shit. --Dave
[So is your mom, but that doesn't make her any less funny 
in the sack.]


Dear Chadwick; So you proved to us that our country's 
national debit is making us bankrupt and that the average 
citizen doesn't make enough money to make any difference. 
So what is your solution to the problem?  Perhaps you 
should run for a government office.  Are you Democratic 
or Republican? Love, Nancy
[I'm a Chadwicktarian.]


What the fuck are you talking about "The government is going 
to become a bloated, corrupt empire..." That's the way its 
been run since the "New Deal" started. Wake up and smell the 
shit! Sincerly Fuck off, ---Bryan Swanson--- P.S. Does all 
that Crisco in your ass make the turds come out any easier? 
[Not really. Does it make them taste any better?]


Horse Hockey, Chadwick. You say, "the U.S. national debt has 
now exceeded seven trillion dollars."  This must be false. 
George Bush got those f**king liberals out of control of the 
country just in time.  He has proved that their alleged 
surplus was a pretence.   Even you could not have wiped that 
budget out and dipped into the pot to help enough of your 
friends in these few years to end up with a debt of the 
amount you claim it is.  George Bush has too much integrity 
to help his friends and has too many really smart people 
around to allow such a thing to happen. --Komowkwa
[I didn't think people as stupid as you existed outside of 
comedy movies, insane asylums and Alabama. Learn the dif-
ference between a budget surplus/deficit and the national 
debt before I kill you. But if you think George Bush has 
integrity you're already dead from the neck up.]


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Is that the dim spark of an idea in your brain? Don't let it 
go to waste! Send it to: Email Chadwick
************************************************************

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____________________________________________________________ 
End of UP YOURS! 
Copyright 2006 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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WHERE'S CHADWICK??!
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