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Publication: Up Yours!
What you want is Australia.

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            UP YOURS! - Saturday, January 13, 2007
Hundreds of hilarious, bizarre and outrageous video clips at: 


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Dear Bastards, 

Here's a story that makes a hell of a lot of sense. See if 
you can follow along. 

Last year a couple of Rhode Island troopers pulled over a 
van packed with fifteen Mexicans. Actually, the troopers 
pulled over the van for a traffic violation, but when they 
saw half the state of Tijuana packed in the back they 
started asking for identification. As it turns out only 
the driver had any identification and could prove that he 
was a citizen of the United States. The rest of them were 
illegal immigrants. 

Score! A whole passel of criminals off the street. You want 
to talk about a stroke of luck. So the cops escorted them 
all to the federal Office of Immigration and Customs 
Enforcement in Providence and turned them over.

And then, later, the two troopers received commendations for 
their outstanding service to the community. Actually, I'm 
kidding. The ACLU is suing the State of Rhode Island, the 
state police, state police Superintendent Steven M. Pare and 
the two troopers who made the stop individually for racial 
profiling and violation of constitutional rights. 

The cock-sucker, I mean... director of the Rhode Island 
affiliate of the American Civil Liberties Union Steven Brown 
said, "The citizenship status of the plaintiffs is really 
irrelevant to this lawsuit. These were individuals who were 
in a van that was stopped for a minor traffic violation. The 
question is whether police have a right to detain individuals 
for no other reason than the way they look."

The fact of the matter is that they weren't detained for the 
way they look. They were detained because they are criminals. 
The law of the United States says that you cannot just come 
strolling across the border whenever you want from wherever 
you want. You have to have a passport, you have to go through 
customs, and if you plan on staying any length of time you 
need a Visa. 

I'm not making this shit up, this is what is known as the 
law of the land. And when you break that law you become a 
criminal. That's what we have cops for...to arrest criminals. 
But not according to the ACLU, apparently. 

Are civil liberties important? Of course. Should they be 
protected? Of course. Should we kick no-good, free-loading 
criminals who are here illegally to suck our tax money out 
of the system straight out on their unemployed, uneducated 
asses? Definitely. 

America was built by immigrants. Not by criminals. If you 
want to live in a country built by criminals then move to 

I need a drink, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Up Yours! Forum


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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER'S COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

OK Fuckstick, If I'm the monkey, then you're the turd with 
the rag on your head.  Eat shit and die, scumbag! --Dave
[That's pretty clever, homo. I think you're giving yourself 
too much credit.]

Hey Chadwick, I used to drink Makers Mark, then switched to 
Knob Creek, much better brand...If you prefer scotch, do 
you drink single malt?  Great column by the way!! Glad you 
can still annoy the piss outta some of these dim lighted 
readers!!  Ya know the type, "Their crossing guards are 
down, the little lights are blinking, but, there's no train 
coming thru!"  Have a good week ya sick FUCK!!  Keep up the 
grand work on YOUR entertaining column! --Steve in Montana
 PS. And no, we don't fuck sheep anymore....
[Moved up to cattle, huh?]

Damn Chadwick! I use to think you was just a target to be 
bashed, Now I now you are just a target! How does your boy-
friend feel about you getting treated like this??? How does 
your parent's feel about there (boy they alway's wanted) 
feel????  This is good, since Chadwick really is a GIRL!!! 
LMAO!!!! How many people knew that?? Not many that I see! 
Keep up the good work! L8R, Brant

I liked your article about PETA.  I used to support them 
until I found out they euthanize animals for  the same 
reason the Humane Society does and then they criticize the 
Humane Society for doing it. --Belinda

In Saturday's UpYours, you said this of PETA: "naked chicks 
ice skate, and wrap themselves in clear plastic wrap...." 
Well, I've seen that bit on tv and in the newspaper, and 
always thought the chick in the cage looked as gangly as 
the Olsen Twin that never eats. Maybe if the chick in the 
cage ate a cheese burger once in a while, she wouldn't 
look so hideously ill. --Dave
[Hard to criticize you on this one. Those vegan chicks are 
pretty scrawny. But their pasty complexions make them look 
kind of goth, which can be sexy.]

Is that the dim spark of an idea in your brain? Don't let it 
go to waste! Send it to: Email Chadwick

To see more issues like this visit: Up Yours! Archives
More FREE Fun and Amusement via email! www.gophercentral.com 

End of UP YOURS! 
Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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