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Publication: Up Yours!
They deserve each other.

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           UP YOURS! - Saturday, September 9, 2006

Raquel Sings & Swings on DVD...

This is one groovy DVD like you've never seen before.
You've got the ultra sexy Raquel Welch singing and dancing 
all over the world. From Paris to Mexico she's having a
good time. Includes some very wild dance sequences you just
won't believe. Sit back and watch as the multi-talented Raquel 
sings, swings, jokes and ropes with the best! Plus you can
own this Exclusive DVD for the discounted price of $14.99 

Reefer Madness DVD

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Free-loaders, 

Get this one... A controversial bill that would allow illegal 
immigrants to get state financial aid while attending 
California's public colleges and universities is now in the 
hands of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has until the end of 
this month to sign or veto.

State financial aid for illegal immigrants. What does that 
mean? Let me answer that for you. It means that the state 
is paying people to be criminals. When a person sneaks into 
the country without being properly admitted that person is 
committing a crime. When you commit a crime you are a 

If a person aids a person knowing that person is a criminal, 
there is a word for that, too. It's called an accessory. If 
you commit a crime and then come to me and ask for money so 
that you can leave the state and escape the law...I become 
a criminal, too. However, when foreigners commit a crime by 
coming here illegally and they ask for money from the state, 
it's called financial aid. That doesn't make sense to me. 

Why not give money to car thieves, too? How about this...get 
pulled over for a DWI and the state writes you a check for 
a thousand bucks? Sound good to you? It makes about as much 
sense as this illegal immigration law. 

And it's not like the hippies in California are tuning their 
backs on the poor indigents streaming clandestinely over the 
boarder like cockroaches. 

The governor has supported an existing state law, passed in 
2002, which now allows undocumented students in California 
to pay in-state tuition rates in public colleges and 
universities. Tuition for non-California residents is about 
10 times higher. Now, I don't know exactly where Tijuana is, 
but I know it's not IN the state of California. 

Hell, let's go all the way and just give California back to 
Mexico. I think they deserve each other.

I need a drink, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Up Yours! Forum


What's your opinion on Golf?

It seems like you either love it or just don't understand 
the attraction. This hilarious DVD explores a golfers 
infatuation with driving, chipping, putting and all things 
golf related.

You won't believe the ridiculous ways golfers obsess over 
the sport. Of the 60 million golfers worldwide, only a handful 
are really good, which begs the question: "Why do the rest of 
us even bother?"

This makes a wonderful gift for any golf nut. Even if you don't 
love the game, this is one funny DVD. And at the reduced price 
of just $12.99 (a savings of $7.00), you've got to get it.
VISIT: Golf the Ridiculous Obsession DVD


"America is the only nation in history which miraculously has 
gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual 
interval of civilization." - George Clemenceau, 1841-1921


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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER'S COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

"There's not another rat-assed nimrod in the entire 
company..." Nimrod means mighty hunter - check your 
dictionary and Genesis 10:8-9. "Nimrod" does NOT mean 
dumbbell, as so many dumbbells use it. If you think you're 
smart enough to write a column, at least get your facts 
straight. --Lily
[I'm sure Nimrod means hunter....dick hunter.]

Man-O-Man, SpeedStick. I have another thing that is really 
starting to piss me off, bigtime. Last week there were 2 
reader comments which were not commented back on. Now LISTEN, 
dipshit, I didn't subscribe to this column to read what the 
other readers have to say. I subscribed to read your heart-
less slams that you USED to lay on people, especially the 
bitches!  Get up off your swollen sphincter hole and start 
cutting down these people. --Mark
[F*** ***!]

Dear Chadwick; Sex did cause me to lose weight.  I never 
told anybody how I lost the weight though.  I just told 
them I watched what I ate.  (it is a little bit of the 
truth though). --Nancy
[Who says you can't teach an old whore new tricks?]

Damnit Chadwick, you stole my diet idea, I was gonna be so 
rich off it.  Now I guess I'll have to start charging to 
lose weight.  And as far as the dirty whore part, who cares 
when you look this good.  Love ya, Sammy
[I care...I don't want my dick falling off because I stuck 
it in some toxic sewer pussy.]

Hey dumbfuck, You would fuck Ann (Dan) Coulter? Google "her" 
pics and see the pronounced "adam's apple". But, what the 
hell, many readers suspect you have homo tendencies.....
[Wishful thinking on their part.]

Hey Chadwick, Your views on fat chicks and how they don't 
get laid and if they do they only get total losers.  Well 
I can say one thing and you may call me a loser if you 
want, but it is easy to find a slim chick that will put 
out.  However, it takes a real man and a challenge to fuck 
a big fat chick.  Don't let the size fool you, make your 
move on the fat chick and see if you get lucky, if you do, 
it will be an experience that you will never forget. --J.T.
[What are you...an idiot? What the fuck do you think I 
recommended in the last issue? I think you're too stupid 
to be subscribed to this list (which is quite something in 
itself). I'm going to have to unsubscribe you. Sorry (no 
I'm not).]

Is that the dim spark of an idea in your brain? Don't let it 
go to waste! Send it to: Email Chadwick

To see more issues visit: Up Yours! Archives
More FREE Fun and Amusement via email! www.gophercentral.com 

End of UP YOURS! 
Copyright 2006 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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