Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters | Forums

Custom Search
Publication: Up Yours!
Windy Biggie wants his kick-back.

Subscribe FREE to Up Yours! by clicking here.

           UP YOURS! - Saturday, October 14, 2006
Hundreds of hilarious, bizarre and outrageous video clips at: 

       The Incredible Multicolored Illuminating Pen 
                 It Lights as it Writes  
                 >>> Now Just $1.99 <<<

Now you can write in the dark. This fun and innovative ball 
point pen has an illuminating light set in the body enabling 
you to write in complete darkness. With 8 possible settings, 
you can choose from 7 brilliant light colors all in one pen. 
The Super Bright LED lasts for years. Twist off the barrel of 
the pen and use it as a mini flashlight. NASA has used this 
Integral Super Bright LED to read and write on space missions 
for years, now you can use the same technology. Get your very
own Flashing Light Pen for Just $1.99 by visiting: 

The Light Pen

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fat-heads, 

Boy o, you people do not know how to manage your money. I 
just read a story today which said that a federal disaster-
counseling program in Florida is paying for puppet shows, 
bingo and yoga on the beach. 

Aren't you glad you're paying over thirty percent in taxes 
out of every paycheck? 

Oh, yes, since 2004, FEMA has awarded Florida nearly $47 
million for "crisis counseling" after hurricanes. In case 
you were wondering, "crisis counseling" includes Hurricane 
Bingo at senior centers, gardening workshops and children's 
shows such as "Windy Biggie," which includes a song about 
how the wind is our friend, even in a hurricane.

Windy Biggie? How about, "You live on the edge of the 
Caribbean, you little assholes, either get used to hurri-
canes or find yourselves some foster parents who aren't 
stupid enough to live in God-damned Florida."

Many people who attended the presentations reported having 
no hurricane distress, and some said they were not even in 
Florida for the storms.

Remember, folks, this April make sure you make that check 
out to Internal Revenue Service, Washington, DC. 

When the newspapers got hold of this one you can bet there 
were some talking heads who were ready to denounce the whole 
thing for a few good sound bites. Republican Representative 
Mario Diaz-Balart from Miami said, "Money is obviously being 
spent for the sake of spending money. It's just totally rid-
iculous and an unacceptable waste of taxpayers' money."

You think? 

Republican Representative Tom Feeney said, "Helping Victims 
of natural disasters means bricks and mortar, emergency food 
and water. That does not mean teaching people gardening." 

Apparently it does. You know, I've got a charity you can 
donate to. It's called the "Chadwick wants an Escalade" fund. 
Driving around in that vehicle will do wonders for my self 
esteem, I guarantee you. It will be money well-spent. 

So in case you want to continue to fund programs like "Windy 
Biggie" the puppet, you people had better start voting some 
of those fat-heads out of office. 

I need a drink, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Up Yours! Forum



Normal Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $1.99 per bottle

The #1 ALL NATURAL Diet Product For The Last 50 Years 
WILL Help YOU Lose Weight....

The best-selling and most proven All Natural diet aid 
available. For the last 50 years hundreds of thousands 
of people have successfully lost weight with Apple Cider 

Now you can get this Amazing supplement in an easy and 
convenient tablet form. No more bad tasting liquids. And 
its even more concentrated in the tablet form. Plus, it 
is guaranteed to work for you. If you don't lose the weight 
you want with Amazing Apple Cider Vinegar just return it 
for a refund. It's JUST $1.99 for 60 Tablets. Visit: 

Lose Weight Now


"If you ask me, this country could do with a little less 
motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble seem 
highly motivated to me. Serial killers, stock swindlers, 
drug dealers, Christian Republicans. I'm not sure that 
motivation is always a good thing. You show me a lazy prick 
lying in bed all day watching TV, and I'll show you a guy 
who's not causing any trouble." --George Carlin


45 Fantastic Fights of the Century

Store Price: $14.99

For the first-time-ever you can get 45 of the greatest boxing
matches of the 20th century on one collectible DVD. And get 
this... you can get it for JUST $3.99.

Every fight fan will want to own this historic treasure that
features boxing greats like Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano, Sugar 
Ray Robinson, and many more.

It's over two (2) hours of non-stop footage. Grab one for
the fight fan you know. It will make a one-of-a-kind gift. 

45 Fantastic Fights DVD

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER'S COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

That Rachel Ray is pretty hot. I'd sure like to butter her 
muffin. She can put my meat in an oiled bag and and beat 
it any time. --Dave
[How come when I say it, it's kinky and sexy, but when you 
say it, it's just plain sick and disgusting?]

Hey, Chad--- I clicked a few links and even bought something. 
When do I get my blowjob? --Cyberslayer
[As soon as you come up with the twenty bucks...I think 
that's what your mom is charging now-a-days, but it's been 
a while since I've been down by the truck stop.]

I'm sick and tired of asswipes like you taking pot shots at 
Alabama. I grew up there and I'm an educated man, just like 
most of the folks in Alabama. I like your writing, but if 
you take a cheap shot at Alabama again, I hope like hell you 
get crushed by a large meteor hurtling from space with your 
name on it. No matter where you are, it will hit crush you. 
Fuck off and die!
["Fuck off and die!" Alabama's motto. It's either that or, 
"Suee, suee, suuuuee!"]

Teachers and Guns?  YES!! YESSSS!! OHHHHH YESSSSS!! --mary
[Let me guess...high school teacher?]

What an insane idea..... teachers carrying guns to protect 
themselves and other students. The liberal Teachers' Union, 
and the Politically Correct powers that be, will NEVER let 
something like this happen. Something as drastic as this 
will affect the self esteem of teens and hurt their 
feelings!!! I think instead of wasting education funds on 
stupid things like teaching kids English and History, they 
should spend the money and effort on courses like "Target 
Shooting and Gun Safety For Social Misfits." Now I need a 
drink. --Dave

Chadwick a fuckin liberal? Next thing we know you will be 
sucking Hillary's dick! --Kelvin
[I bet it still smells like Monica Lewinski's cunt.]

Ah, sooo -  when you're doin' the Bedsheet Bop, you listen 
to the Pain Prelude, Squish Sonata, & Rope Rhapsody...in 
short, your favorite music would be "Twist and Shout." I 
can almost hear the climax of the Fucking Fantasia. --Lynn
[What the fuck is with all the props and preliminaries? 
Doesn't anybody just 'fuck' any more?]

Is that the dim spark of an idea in your brain? Don't let it 
go to waste! Send it to: Email Chadwick

To view recent issues visit: Up Yours! Archives
More FREE Fun and Amusement via email! www.gophercentral.com 

End of UP YOURS! 
Copyright 2006 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Up Yours! by clicking here.

The Up Yours! Forum
I'll Miss You
Agree w/Chad
View this Forum | Post a topic to this forum

Mr. Garrison - Merry F***ing Christmas - South Park

Watch It Now

Fudge Packer Pt. 1 (Mature)

Watch It Now

No Class - Back To School

Watch It Now

Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters