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Publication: Up Yours!
Explaining chicks to chicks.

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            UP YOURS! - Saturday, November 11, 2006
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Dear Poon-hounds, 

Last week a reader sent me an email asking, "Why do men like 
lesbians so much?" 

And this week I received a similar question following, 

  "Hey Chadwick, I got a question for ya. Some friends 
  and I were having a discussion and a question came 
  up that the guys among us refused to answer. So I'm 
  hoping you might be willing to tell me your theory if 
  you have one: why do guys think lesbians going at it 
  are hot? You don't see women talking about how hot it 
  would be for two guys to go down on each other, so 
  what's the deal? Thanks" --Mel   

Dear Bimbo, er...Mel,   

While the question is relatively simple the answer has several 


It's instinctual. It's what I like to call "The Harem Syndrome."   

Many animals in the wild collect harems; horses, bulls, bucks,   
wolves, etc...So it's only natural that a man (who's not all   
that far removed from an animal anyway) would want to see   
multiple women in a sexual scenario where there's a possibility,   
even if only in his fantasies, that he might be the only male   


It's taboo. We're attracted to it because it's not   
exactly normal. More than that it has a connotation of being   
wrong. It's the same reason we're fascinated with anal sex   
and women with tattoos. There's something illicit about it.   
But it doesn't come with the gag reflex built into guy on   
guy action because there are no big, hairy asses involved.   


It's a peak into that most bizarre and mysterious world of   
female behavior. How do women act when they're alone together?   
What do they really want? What are their most naked desires.   

This reminds me of an unusual statistic I read somewhere.   
Most male-to-female sex change recipients end up in lesbian   
relationships anyway. So you're a guy, you get medically   
changed to a chick, and then you find a chick to sleep with.   
And why? Perhaps maybe you'll finally find out what the fuck   
a woman really wants?   

And lastly, but certainly not leastly, it's just fucking cool.   

As for your assertion that women don't think two guys going at   
it is hot, that's not true at all. Years ago I dated a young   
woman named Amy who at one point confessed to me her fantasy   
of being in a three-way with two bi-sexual guys. I would have   
kicked her to the curb but she had blue eyes the color of the   
mid-morning sky and an ass as soft as buttermilk. Not that it   
mattered anyway because she kicked me to the curb not more   
than a month later to go back with her ex-boyfriend who "ful-   
filled her needs" better than I could which, I assume, meant   
he was willing to take a dick up the ass for her. So I guess   
it all worked out for the best in the end.

I need a drink, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Up Yours! Forum


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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER'S COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Dear Chadwick; Have you ever tried on women's panties before? 
Just wondering, Nancy
[Of course. I once spent a three-day weekend with a woman in 
her apartment and on the few occasions I did put on clothes 
I had to wear hers because my pants had caught on fire in a 
bizarre fondue accident.]

If you can suck your own dick, I want front row seats. 
[A voyeur, huh? Kinky.]

chadwick, you are a complete and total asshole! you obviously   
dont care whos feelings you hurt. so maybe you have no   
feelings of your own? call me a dirty whore all u want, i   
like it. i love to be belittled and putdown. so do it all   
you want you fucking prick. i love to hate you, brittany   
[Hey! Finally, a bitch I can relate to.]

So I've got this problem. I'm not into being smacked around   
during sex, but I do like to be called names, and insulted.   
It makes me feel like a woman should feel. The thing is,   
it's hard to find men of my age group (I'm 20) who are man   
enough to do this. Unfortunately, they've all been raised   
to be sensitive, caring young men. So I guess my question   
would be, how the hell did you get to be such a temperamental,   
degrading prick? I need your secret. --Keith Folsom   
[If you fucking weirdos are going to pretend to be bitches,   
you can at least learn how to delete your name from your   
email address. Loser.]

Hey! I love your newsletter! It keeps me from killing myself   
each morning!   
[Then you'll be sorry to hear that I just deleted your email   
address from the list.]

If they took the curse words away from you, you have a future   
as a mime. Oh yes I forgot to you every one is a cock-sucker,   
pussy or some other derogatory term. Try learning English you   
ass hole. --Moe   
[Not just to me. Everybody IS a cock-sucker or a pussy, you   
cock-sucking pussy.]

Is that the dim spark of an idea in your brain? Don't let it 
go to waste! Send it to: Email Chadwick

To see more issues visit: Up Yours! Archives
More FREE Fun and Amusement via email! www.gophercentral.com 

End of UP YOURS! 
Copyright 2006 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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