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Publication: Fifty & Furthermore
Sexuality

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FIFTY & FURTHERMORE - Thursday, November 9, 2006

"I'm Dr. Dorree Lynn, founder of FiftyandFurthermore.com. 
Growing older can be a time for creative and passionate 
living, and I will apply my years as a psychologist to 
help you with the challenges and wonders that come with 
this new life stage."
------------------------------------------------------------

Hello and welcome to FIFTY & FURTHERMORE! 

Today I want to share my views on sexuality and 
appropriateness in today's culture. Please send me 
your comments regardless of whether you agree or 
disagree. I'll be sure to post arguments from both 
sides. If you would like to make a comment or ask 
me a question, please email me at the address below 
and as always, I will do all I can to provide you 
with the advice you seek.

As I always say, "life is too hard to do alone - 
reach out!"

Dr. Dorree Lynn, Psychologist


Please send questions and comments to: 
email Dr. Lynn

The Times They Are A-Changin' by Dr. Dorree Lynn

Sex sells and sells and sells. The more open and out 
there sexuality may be, the more there will be oppos-
ing forces ready to clamp down on what is eternal and 
true - the obvious message that sex is here to stay.  
As it does today, the conflict between open sexuality 
and ”behind closed doors” sex has always existed in 
one form or another. Sometimes those doing battle 
against overt manifestations of sexuality are driven 
by genuine beliefs about what is right and wrong, 
sometimes their motivations are fear based and some-
times they are simply adults who recall the rebellious 
peccadilloes of their youth and wish to prevent their 
off spring from experiencing the consequences of their 
own youthful actions. Try as I might to find reasons 
to disagree with the ways today’s youth handles 
sexuality, I find I only have two significant issues.

I am concerned about the apparent divide between easy 
sex and intimate meaning. Now that unmarrieds outnumber 
marrieds and a number of statistics indicate that there 
is actually less sex in relationships than in prior 
generations, including mine, I fret about the changing 
concept of intimacy and love. I am concerned that the 
ease of sexual availability may leave today's youth 
more confused than ever about how to sustain love.  My 
generation had different issues and our divorce rate is 
indicative of our own challenges with intimate connec-
tion. But those in their twenties seem more confused 
than ever (if that’s possible) about how to bring their 
full selves, including sexual connection, communication 
and pragmatic “how to” techniques, into a meaningful 
relationship. 

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My second concern is about the amount of potential dis-
ease that careless and especially unprotected sex can 
cause. My generation was susceptible to a few diseases,
most of which were cured with heavy doses of penicillin 
and were not life threatening. Today’s youth are at risk 
for a wider variety of sexually transmitted diseases 
(STD’s) and are too often unaware or don’t bother taking 
care of themselves both in the moment and for long term 
consequences.

As someone who is on record as an advocate of acknowledg-
ing that there is sex over fifty and who believes that 
nursing homes and assisted living facilities should move 
towards a modern college dorm model, how can I possibly 
come down on today’s youth? I want Sages to have their 
choice of roommates of either sex. Unrestricted visiting 
hours. Private places for couples or at the very least a 
respected Do Not Disturb sign on one’s door. I believe 
that elder care facilities, and adult children would 
benefit from sex education to ensure that their parents 
and grandparents have well deserved privacy for intimate 
sexual contact, should they choose. Each generation’s 
manifestations are different, but sex is here to stay.

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As Bob Dylan said in 1964, “The times they are a-changin’”  
And that means personal expression through clothing styles 
will continue to change. So I try to get accustomed to the 
fact that the younger generation often seems to dress in 
their underwear. Sometimes I can’t differentiate between a 
well-thought-out fashion statement and a twenty something 
who seems to have gotten out of bed so hungover that their 
underwear appears carelessly draped over their outerwear. 
I do not value, nor do I like the indirectness of “wardrobe 
malfunctions” on national TV, but I can adjust to the belly 
button piercing and butt crack exposure that are now viewed 
as sexy. Of course I don’t want to see child molestation 
and other violent sexual crimes.  But much as I would like 
to disagree with Jen’s point of view, I simply can’t. As 
long as we try to push sex back into an unrealistic twin 
bed model, the current generation will continue to push 
back and say, “Get real. We know this ain’t so.” After all, 
aren’t we the generation who fought for freedom to have 
sex, drugs and rock and roll out in the open? Lest we for-
get, I remind my generation of whence we came.

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     For more insight and advice from Dr. Lynn visit:             
fiftyandfurthermore.com

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