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Publication: Fifty & Furthermore
Rolling With the Punches

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FIFTY & FURTHERMORE - Monday, October 23, 2006

"I'm Dr. Dorree Lynn, founder of FiftyandFurthermore.com. 
Growing older can be a time for creative and passionate 
living, and I will apply my years as a psychologist to 
help you with the challenges and wonders that come with 
this new life stage."
------------------------------------------------------------

Hello and welcome to FIFTY & FURTHERMORE! 

I would like to return to the topic of alternative 
partnerships next issue, and today post for you my 
most recent article (for www.fiftyandfurthermore.com) 
on "rolling with the punches" when life throws you for 
a loop. If you would like to make a comment or ask me 
a question, please email me at the address below and 
as always, I will do all I can to provide you with the 
advice you seek.

As I always say, "life is too hard to do alone - reach 
out!"

Dr. Dorree Lynn, Psychologist


Please send questions and comments to: 
email Dr. Lynn

ROLLING WITH THE PUNCHES by Dr. Dorree Lynn

Life is unpredictable. Change happens and just when you 
adapt to the newness, it happens again. One of the things 
I’ve learned in my 65 years is to draw my life’s blue-
print in pencil. Especially as I Sage, I am more and more 
aware of the need to go with the flow or “roll with the 
punches.” Though I stop to smell the roses, I am often 
unexpectedly presented with finding creative new ways of 
moving on. It’s not at all that I was immune to change 
when I was younger; but as a younger woman I could better 
blind myself to the consequences of life events and per-
haps even find a certain thrill in not always knowing, 
in planning as I went along. Though I have always enjoyed 
a creative edge, I, like many of us Fifty and Furthermore, 
have had my fair share of unplanned events and I now pre-
fer more predictable transitions. Although at times I may 
long to be able to sit back and enjoy my hard-earned 
serenity, life goes through its own phases, determined 
remind me to keep on my toes. As with many of my age-
mates, we are asked to roll with the punches again and 
again, and roll we do, for we haven’t any other choice.

Take, for example, FiftyandFurthermore.com. I admit that 
I knew creating and fine-tuning this website would 
require a lot of work and be an adventure in itself. But 
I (still perhaps naively) hoped for a more linear pro-
gression of events with each member of the web team get-
ting his or her part accomplished without much of a 
hitch. Then the content editor faced health issues, the 
webmaster suffered a concussion after being hit by a car, 
two of our expert writers lost their mates and I under-
went surgery which prevented me from writing new articles 
for a month. Five punches, but we (and the site) are 
still standing and expanding. 

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I am also near completion of a book I am authoring about 
caring for the caregiver; about how those who are 
supposed to be in charge need someone to care for them 
too. My co-author, a detail-oriented, successful woman, 
and I misunderstood each other and recently I wound up 
having to rewrite a chapter I thought complete. The result 
– unplanned-for double work. Ok, I could get through that. 
Rolling with the punches. Then I received the devastating 
news that her husband, for whom she was the caregiver and 
the inspiration behind the book, had passed away. Per-
spective. I mourn with her, and while I know that this un-
foreseen event can complicate the completion of the book, 
suddenly deadlines and editors seem unimportant. We’re 
black and blue, but we’ll get through this one too. And my 
guess is, given our natures, on time.

When I was first enjoying my success as a psychologist, 
my then-husband and I had purchased a home in a serene 
farm-like setting, an anticipated oasis away from daily 
hustle. Then there was a fire that totally destroyed our 
haven, and the manifestation of my hard work crumbled to 
the ground, along with most of my worldly possessions. 
While that was clearly a life-changing and humbling 
experience, the most important possessions – myself and 
my loved ones – were salvaged. That was a huge “punch” 
and it changed my perspective on a number of things, in-
cluding that life is indeed unpredictable. While knowing 
that helped to prepare me for the next series of “blows,” 
still the need for new learning continued. I am happy 
with my present husband, but our long-distance relation-
ship provides all sorts of situations we can’t prepare 
for. Minor ones: what if the plane is delayed? The flight 
canceled due to inclement weather? What if luggage is 
lost, as it was when I recently traveled to Turkey with 
my daughter? Or major ones that really matter: what if 
one of us gets ill or worse? Yet I (and we) continue to 
fly between DC and Florida because, however complicated 
it may be, being able to see each other is what really
matters. 

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Some things I’ve also learned after dealing with so much 
change is that while stability can’t always be found in 
situations, as we Sage, we can learn to find our security 
in spirituality, ourselves and with those we love. My 
children may be scattered across the country, starting new 
families and changing jobs, being anything but predictable, 
but they are still my children and the love we share is 
constant. Likewise for my husband and close friends.

Recently I had hired a young man to install new shelving 
in our main office room. So my wonderful assistant helped 
to clear everything out of the closet and moved it to the 
center of the room in preparation for his arrival the next 
day. That night the contractor had a heart attack. Thank-
fully, he is going to be okay, but obviously the work will 
be delayed. As I look at the mess in the center of our 
work space, I think how it must be nothing compared to the 
mess he and his family are dealing with. Life is continuity 
in process. Roll on.

------------------------------------------------------------
     For more insight and advice from Dr. Lynn visit:              
fiftyandfurthermore.com

------------------------------------------------------------

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