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Random Jack Bauer Facts

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T H E . M O U T H P I E C E       Friday, May 6, 2008
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Good Afternoon,

I just wanted to share a small piece of advice with you 
today. It is advice that my father handed down to me and 
I hope to someday hand it down to my children. 

Advice Tip #36 

Never eat a bowl of cereal while driving an automobile, 
airplane, boat, hovercraft, jet ski, bicycle, motorcycle, 
golf cart, canoe, blimp and helicopter. 

Trust me, it's good advice. 

Mouthing Off,
Carl 

email Mouthpiece

Viral Videos on the Net at www.EVTV1.com

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Mouthpiece forum. Check it out here... 
The Mouthpiece Forum

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[m]  q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y 

"Now that Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee, Americans 
are going to have to choose between the 46-year-old Obama 
and the 71-year-old John McCain. In other words, it's a 
choice between the Hillary defeater or the Wal-Mart 
greeter."
- Conan O'Brien 

"During her speech last night, Hillary kept referring to 
Barack as 'my friend.' She was using the same tone as when 
she calls Bill 'my husband'."
- Jay Leno

"Democrats finally seem to be in agreement: Barack is the 
Obamanee."
- Jimmy Kimmel

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phone, spare keys, pens, pencils, iPod, coins, garage door 
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Remember you can save even more when you buy two. 
Get two (2) for $7.98. They make great gifts. 
To order, visit: CUP HOLDER CAR ORGANIZER...
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What's On the Web? 
------------------

CELEBRITY UGLY STICK

"Everyone knows pretty actresses only win awards if they 
make themselves ugly. As a Hollywood agent, it's your job 
to help your client by throwing certain items at her..."

Visit: CELEBRITY UGLY STICK

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RANDOM JACK BAUER FACTS

Special Agent in Charge of Counter Terrorist Unit Los 
Angeles Jack Bauer is tough. Read the 100 top Jack Bauer 
facts of the moment, compiled by NOT RLY, some of which may 
contain uncompromising street language. 

Visit: RANDOM JACK BAUER FACTS

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[m]  b i t s . n . b o b s 
     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 

                     Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Messages Left On Barack Obama's Answering Machine


10. "Hi, it's Eliot Spitzer — let's get some girls and 
    celebrate."

9. "John McCain here. I... uh, crap, I forgot why I called."

8. "Hi, this is Al Gore. Don't make the same mistake I did 
   and win the popular vote."

7. "It's John McCain again. What is this, some kind of 
   machine that answers the phone?"

6. "This is John Kerry; are you interested in a subscription
   to Sports Illustrated?"

5. "You've just made a powerful enemy of the Pantsuit 
   Manufacturers of America."

4. "Hi, it's Randy Jackson. Your last speech? A little 
   pitchy, Dawg."

3. No number 3 — writer stuck on plane with Scott McClellan.

2. "Hillary calling; I'm still prepared to offer you the 
   vice president position."

1. "Oprah here: I helped you get the nomination, now will 
   you help me get rid of Dr. Phil?"

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If you missed an issue, be sure to visit the archives: 
The Mouthpiece Archives

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t h e . m o u t h p i e c e 
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END OF THE MOUTHPIECE - http://www.gophercentral.com 
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

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