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Publication: Mouthpiece
Misheard Lyrics

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T H E . M O U T H P I E C E       Tuesday, April 22, 2008
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Good Afternoon,

I'm going to keep it short and sweet today, but before I 
go I'm going to just throw a word out there to make you 
laugh. Ready? Here's the word: kumquat. 

Mouthing Off,
Carl 

email Mouthpiece

Viral Videos on the Net at www.EVTV1.com

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Mouthpiece forum. Check it out here... 
The Mouthpiece Forum

************************************************************

[m]  q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y 

"Scientists believe that radiation from cell phones throws 
off bees' navigation system. You know, just like it does 
to drivers on the highway." 
- Jay Leno 

"I also did my share of time travel. I had a device that 
sent me hurdling through time. It's called tequila. I 
would drink this potion and wake up three days into the 
future." 
- Craig Ferguson 

"Hillary Clinton says she's pro-guns. She likes to hunt 
ducks. Vice President Dick Cheney said, 'Oh stop... you're 
making me hot'."
- David Letterman 

------------------------------------------------------------
8 in 1 SCREWDRIVER SET & and LED TORCH

Normal Price: $14.99 
DEAL PRICE: $6.99

The 8 in 1 Screwdriver and LED Torch is the IDEAL multi-
function tool! This innovative screwdriver integrates a 
torch LED flashlight for use on its own or to illuminate 
the working area when using any of the screwdrivers 
included. This LED Torch with hand clothes clip, easy 
carry! 

Features:
- Integrated LED torch for use on its own or to light 
  working area
- Magnetic CRV steel alloy heads 
- Extra heavy duty screwdriver locking mechanism
- Electrically insulated heavy duty handle and screwdriver 
  stems
- Handy clothes clip, easy carry
- Lightweight, compact size design 
- Uses two (2) AAA batteries (included)
- 3 LED Torch Lights for easy-to-see repair 

To order or get more information, visit: 
8 in 1 SCREWDRIVER SET & and LED TORCH
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What's On the Web? 
------------------

MISHEARD LYRICS

Kissthisguy.com is the only domain named after the 
world's most commonly misheard lyric (or is it?) From 
Jimi Hendrix's line " 'scuse me, while I kiss the sky!", 
this website archives many of the same type of mis-heard 
lines to many famous artists songs. Browse through artists 
such as The Monkees to the B-52's to Sheryl Crow. Have a 
line that you have always mis-heard/mis-sung and would 
like to add it? Do so here! 

Visit: MISHEARD LYRICS

-------------------------------------------

FIND A GRAVE

This website is dedicated to archiving all famous and 
infamous grave sites. Find the graves of thousands of 
famous people and infamous ancestors though this easy-to-
use site. Once your find the grave you are looking for, 
create virtual memorials, add 'virtual flowers' and a 
note to a loved one's grave. This website also supplies 
you with the name of the cemetary and town at which to 
visit the burial site. Whether you are looking to find 
where a loved one is buried, or would just like to post 
a sentimental message along with flowers to commerate 
their life, this website is it! 

Visit: FIND A GRAVE

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3-PC WALKING SET

Normal Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $12.99 or two for $19.98

What a great idea... this 3-piece set combines all the 
stuff you want and need for a pleasant day walking. 

A large zippered pouch holds your personal items such as 
keys, money, wallet, garage door opener and more. 

Set includes:
- Lightweight, adjustable hip pack
- 16 ox Stainless Steel Water Bottle
- Electronic Pedometer 

What's great is for the price you would expect to pay just 
for the pedometer you can get the entire set. Plus using 
THIS water bottle helps save the environment by limiting 
the amount of plastic used to create the bottles. To see a 
picture or order, visit: 3-PC WALKING SET
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[m]  b i t s . n . b o b s 
     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 

Why It's Great to be a Guy!

* A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase
* Bathroom lines are 80% shorter
* We can open all our own jars
* Phone conversations last 30 seconds
* We know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
* Old friends don't care if we've lost or gained weight
* Our last name stays put.
* We can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
* We can kill our own food.
* The garage is all ours.
* We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtful-
  ness.
* We can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
* If someone forgets to invite us to something, they can 
  still be our friend.
* Our underwear costs $6.50 for a pack of 3.
* We don't have to shave below our neck.
* If we're 34 and single, no one notices.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* Where and when we pee doesn't effect our emotional well-
  being.
* We can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
* Flowers & duct tape - and we can fix everything.
* Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
* We can say anything and not worry about what people think.
* We can whip our shirt off on a hot day.
* Car mechanics tell us the truth.
* We don't give a flip if someone doesn't notice our new 
  haircut.
* We can watch a game in silence for hours without our buddy
thinking "He must be mad at me."
* One mood, all the time.
* We can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve 
  ourselves to look like him.
* Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
* Wedding dress; $2000, Tux rental; 100 bucks.
* We don't care if someone is talking behind our back.
* We don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone 
  else's.
* If we retain water, it is in a canteen.
* The remote is all ours.
* We need not pretend we're "freshening up" to use the 
  bathroom.
* We can go to the bathroom alone.
* If we don't call our buddy when we said we would, he 
  won't tell our friends I've changed.
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same 
  outfit, we might become lifelong buddies.
* If something mechanical didn't work, we can bash it 
  with a hammer and throw it across the room. 
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
* We think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting 
  dog is funny. Really funny. 

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If you missed an issue, be sure to visit the archives: 
The Mouthpiece Archives

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t h e . m o u t h p i e c e 
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END OF THE MOUTHPIECE - http://www.gophercentral.com 
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

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