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LAFF A DAY - Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Greetings Laff Lovers,

It is supposed to rain all day today and all night, and the 
wife is having a feminine issue right now...so I can't golf 
and I can't have sex. I don't know what to do. 

I've just realize how shallow my life has become. 


Pimps have it all together. They do real well with women. You 
never see two pimps at a party and one pimp saying, "Go over 
there and talk to her, I think she likes you." 
   --Chris Rock 

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I met an older woman at a club last night. 

This isn't usually my thing, but she was attractive enough 
for a 50-year-old. We had a few drinks, danced a little 
bit, and the next thing you know my hand was caressing her 
thigh and she was whispering dirty nothings in my ear. 

She asked me if I'd ever had a sportsman's double, a mother 
and daughter 3-some? 

I said no. We drank a bit more, then she says tonight was 
my lucky night. 

We went back to her place. She put the hall light on and 
shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?" 

"The most romantic thing any woman ever said to me in bed was, 
'Are you sure you're not a cop?'" --Larry Brown 

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I did the math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce. 
After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.

Assuming he banged her every night during their 5 year 
relationship, it ends up costing him $26,849 per lay, not 
counting attorney's fees and court costs.

On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's call girl Kristen 
charges $4,000 an hour. Crazy, right?

But...Had Paul McCartney employed Kristen for 5 years, he 
would've paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night 
for 5 years (a savings of $41+million).

Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no beg-
ging, no coaxing, never a headache, wide open menu, ability 
to put BOTH legs around you, no bitching and complaining 
or "to do" lists. Best of all, she leaves when you're done, 
and comes back the next day, ready for another round. All 
at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees.

Is it just me, or is it better to rent?

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

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To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
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Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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