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LAFF A DAY - Tuesday, July 1, 2008
*************************************************************

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Clean Laffs Joe found some spam in his mailbox this morning 
that said in big letters, "Satisfy the girl with a bigger 
dick!" 

"Hell," Joe said, "I wouldn't be caught dead with a girl 
with a dick that's bigger than mine." 

"Don't worry, Joe," I offered, "Transsexuals have notoriously 
small packages." 

I-Saw-It-On-The-Internet-ly, 

TZ


"Today is independence day for Madagascar. That's where the 
pirates used to hang out and do 'piraty' things... like 
drink rum... powder their cannon balls and get into sword 
fights...like a party at Elton John's house." -Craig Ferguson



VEGETABLE PEELING GLOVES

Retail Price: $9.99
Deal Price: $4.99
SAVE EVEN MORE: Get 2 for $7.98

The fastest and easiest way to peel vegetables! Great for 
potatoes, carrots, yams, radishes and more. Simply RUB to 
remove outer skin. Gloves are completely waterproof and way 
safer than knives or peeler blades. One size fits all

No nicks or cuts; they remove only the thinnest layer of peel!" 
With these gloves you'll minimize waste of your veggies... and 
let's face it, with the prices of groceries today, it's important 
to get the most from your buck.. 

Remember you can save even more when you buy two. Get two (2) 
for $7.98. They make great gifts. To order, visit: 

Today's Deal of the Day



10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first 
date 20% of the men had sex in a non- traditional place 36% 
of the women favor nudity 45% of the women prefer dark men 
with blue eyes 46% of the women experienced anal sex 70% of 
the women prefer sex in the morning 80% of the men have never 
experienced homosexual relations 90% of the women would like 
to have sex in the forest 99% of the women have never ex-
perienced sex in the office. 

Conclusion:  Statistically speaking, you have a better chance 
of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the 
forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day. 

Moral:  Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever 
come of it.



"Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton campaigned for the first 
time together in Unity, New Hampshire, today. Isn't that 
cute? Unity, New Hampshire. Their tour goes from Unity to 
Tolerate, Rhode Island; and Getting on My Nerves, Virginia; 
and then Crazy Makeup Sex, California." --Jimmy Kimmel



CD PORTFOLIO (24 Capacity)

Normal Price: $7.99 
DEAL PRICE: $2.99

Carry your CDs with you wherever you go with this case that 
can hold either CDs or CD ROMS and holds up to 24 CDs. The 
stylish case not only protects your favorite CDs but it 
looks great, too!. 

This lightweight case features rugged nylon construction and 
an efficient design that zips all around. Also includes easy 
carrying handle. 

Grab one or two while you can. This is a closeout item so once 
they are gone, they are gone... CD PORTFOLIO (24 Capacity)



Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I 
set off for work in my Volvo 1800 leaving my husband in the 
house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a 
mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car 
shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's 
help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in 
our bedroom with the neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is 
34, and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they 
had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him 
to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has 
been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him 
very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has 
become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and 
I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila



Dear Sheila: An 1800 stalling after being driven a short 
distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. 
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. 
If it is clear, check the vacuum lines and hoses on the in-
take manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of 
these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel 
pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the 
carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

-Walter


P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


------------------------------------------------------------

           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  
  Laffaday Book

------------------------------------------------------------

To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com

____________________________________________________________

END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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