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Publication: Laff A Day
I don't have any liquid left in me at all.

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LAFF A DAY - Monday, June 23, 2008

Greetings Laff Lovers,

What an exhausting weekend! I didn't think I was going to 
get any so I masturbated to a copy of Red Book that my wife 
lefy lying around...like I usually do...and then it turned 
out that she was in the mood after all. 

I performed twice in one weekend. I feel like I don't have 
any liquids left in me at all! 



"In California, Americans are flocking to Tijuana, Mexico to 
fill up their cars because gas is 50 percent cheaper there. 
Even better, the gas is free if you take two Mexicans home 
in your trunk." -Conan O'Brien

Funniest Moments of Comedy 6-Volume DVD Collection 
Over 10 hours of non-stop comedy...

Retail Price: $59.99
Deal Price: $49.99

This collection is packed with classic scenes, beloved 
routines, and rarely seen performances (many available for 
the first time on DVD!), plus home movie madness and 
hilarious bloopers from the worlds of entertainment, 
politics and sports. 

Relive the absolute funniest moments from movies, radio, 
television and stand-up featuring the legends of yesterday 
and the stars of today.

You get over 10 hours of fun... from The Honeymooners to
Seinfeld... The Stooges to Saturday Night Live. It's all
here in this one Collectible Boxed Set. Makes a great
gift too. Get more info or order by visiting: 

Six Disc Comedy Collection... Boxed Set DVD Collection

"The CIA thinks they know where Osama bin Laden is. They 
think he's hiding in the mountainous regions of Pamela 
Anderson." -David Letterman

There are two old men on a bench watching a pretty young 
thing walking by. One says "Are you getting what I am 

Second guy says "Sure am, but there is something I don't 
understand. When I was twenty, I could grab my cock with 
both hands and could not stop it pointing at the sky. 
When I got to forty, I could wrestle it down to level with 
the horizon. When I got to sixty, I found I could point 
it at the ground and now I am eighty I turn it around and 
tickle my own ass with it."

First guy says, "Just what don't you understand about that?"

Second guy answers, "Just when am I going to stop getting 
any stronger"

Simply Clever... Just Push & Turn...

Normal Price: $14.99 
Get 2 Sets (40 hooks total) for $9.98

Say goodbye to your hammer and nails. Now you can hang pictures, 
mirrors, shelves or more FAST, EASY, and more SECURELY than 
every before. 

With these clever Super Hooks, all you do is just position, 
twist, turn and voila!! No drills, no hammers, no mess. 

You get a set of 20. 

Works on drywall, plaster or paneling. Perfect for home, 
office, or school. Holds up to 100 lbs. 

SUPER HOOKS - Simply Clever... Just Push & Turn

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic 
groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be 
expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For 
all I know, these are the same thing. 

And never under any circumstances expect me to pick up any-
thing for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. 
(F.Y.I. guys--cumin is a spice and not a bodily function) 

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  Laffaday Book


To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com


Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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