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Publication: Laff A Day
It's a good thing my wife cheats on me.

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LAFF A DAY                             Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I grabbed a shirt from the closet this morning and noted that 
it did not look familiar to me. I put it on and thought, 
"Nice shirt." 

I got to the office and Lewis and a couple of the ladies 
were milling about. 

"Nice shirt," Marzee, the editor of The Daily Recipe said. 

"Yeah, I thought so, too," I said. "But I don't remember ever 
seeing it before." 

Lewis grabbed my collar to look at the tag. "Must belong to 
one of the guys your wife is banging." 



I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding 
over a stage direction. In my script it clearly said: 
"Enter Juliette from the rear."

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"I don't care what your hobby is before puberty hits, because 
as soon as it does, nature assigns you a new one. Let's just 
say that when I was 14 I was treated for tennis elbow, and I 
didn't even own a racquet. I wasn't exactly subtle about my 
self-discovery either. I had tiki torches all around my bed, 
a poster of Farrah Fawcett on my ceiling and a spring-loaded 
tissue dispenser on my nightstand while I worked my own 
crank like it was the gearshift on a Volkswagen bus that I 
was trying to rock out of a mudhole. Ah, the good old 
days--last Thursday." -Dennis Miller

"My God!" complained the wife to her husband, "I come home 
with a little cum in my hair and right away you jump to 

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A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and 
eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and 
coffee?' He declines. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not 
hungry right now. It's this Viagra,' he says. 'It's really 
taken the edge off my appetite.' 

At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. 'A bowl 
of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?' 

He declines. 'The Viagra,' he says, 'really trashes my 
desire for food.' 

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. 

'Would you like a juicy ribeye steak and scrumptious apple 
pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?' 

He declines again. 'No,' he says, 'it's got to be the 
Viagra... I'm still not hungry.' 

'Well,' she says, 'Would you mind letting me up? I'm fucking 

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  Laffaday Book


To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com


Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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