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Publication: Laff A Day
Good riddance.

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LAFF A DAY - Monday, June 30, 2008

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Here it is, the last day of June and good riddance. What a 
month! I've hardly had any sex, I've hardly played any golf, 
my diet is shot to shit and the kids have been begging me 
non-stop to take them to the water park. That's exactly what 
I want to do...drive four hours round-trip to swim in heavily 
chlorinated urine. 

Of course, it would give me an opportunity to scope out some 



When my new wife complained to me about my penis being too 
small, I replied, "If you park a 747 in the bottom of the 
Grand Canyon, doesn't it seem small?" 

She never said anything again.

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A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening, she 
was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal 
Husbandry. He looks up from the page and says to her, 
"Did you know that humans are the only species in which 
the female achieves orgasm?"

She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? 
Prove it."

He frowns for a moment, then says, "O.K." He then gets up 
and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her 
face. About a half an hour later he returns all tired and 
sweaty and proclaims, "Well, I'm sure the cow and sheep 
didn't, but the way that pig's always squealing, how can I 

You know you're getting fat when you sit in your bathtub 
and the water in the toilet rises.

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An Aussie goes into a gentleman's club and steps up to the 
bar.  The bartender asks, "What will it be, sir?"  The 
Aussie say, "I'll have a scotch and soda," and indicating 
a lady at the other end of the bar, he continues, "And buy 
that old douchbag a drink."

The bartender says, "Sir, this is a gentleman's club and 
our lady patrons are only referred to in gentlemanly terms. 
Now what will you have?"

The Aussie repeats, "I'll have a scotch and soda and I'll 
buy that old douchebag a drink." 

The bartender, quite pissed off, says, "Sir, this is a 
gentleman's club and our lady patrons are only referred in 
complimentary terms.  Now, what will you have?"

The Aussie says, "I'll have a scotch and water and buy that 
old douchebag a drink." 

The exasperated bartender turns to the lady and says, "This 
gentleman would like to buy you a drink. What'll you have." 

The blonde lady say, perkily, "Oh, how about a vinegar and 

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

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To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com


Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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