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Publication: Laff A Day
It's all in God's plan.

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LAFF A DAY - Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I went to my dentist yesterday and while he had both hands 
in my mouth up to his wrists he was telling me about how he 
drives ninety minutes, one way, every weekend to cut his 
brother-in-law's acre-sized lawn while he is out of town for 
an extended period. 

"Ow wong ab ou een a endist?" I asked with the sucky tube in 
my mouth. 

"Oh, going on thirty years, now."

"An you shill cud your bruffer-in-wa's wawn?" I asked. 

"Oh, I don't mind. It makes my wife happy that we can help 
him out."

"Oc," I pointed out, "at's ut Gog reated exicans or." 



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It makes you more outgoing; it gives you more personality. 
And I'm thinking, 'Great — now I have to bring two pills on 
a date.'" -David Letterman

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"Uh Oh!" said Pauly reading a letter.

Maury, standing near him, said, "Bad news?"

"Disturbing news, anyway," said Pauly. "It's from someone 
who says if I don't stay away from his wife, he'll kill me."

"In that case, if I were you, I would stay away from his 
wife," commented Maury, reasonably.

"Gladly, but who? The letter is  anonymous!"

"At a press conference, President Bush blasted Congress for 
not allowing oil exploration in the Alaskan Wildlife Reserve. 
Democrats said it wouldn't do any good, because it wouldn't 
produce oil for 10 years. You know, the same thing they said 
10 years ago." -Jay Leno

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An older, very dignified gentleman went to his travel agent 
and tried to book a two-week cruise for himself and his 
lady friend. The travel agent said that all the ships were 
booked up and reservations were very tight at that moment, 
but that he would see what he could do.

A couple of days later, the travel agent phoned and said he 
could get them onto a three-day cruise. The gentleman was 
disappointed that it was such a short cruise, but booked it, 
and then went to the drugstore to buy Dramamines and three 

The next day, the agent called back and reported that he now 
could upgrade him to a five-day cruise.

The gentleman said, "Great, I'll take it!" And he returned 
to the same pharmacy to buy two more Dramamines and two more 

The following day, the travel agent called yet again, and 
said he was delighted that he could offer them bookings on 
an eight-day cruise.

The gentleman was elated and, went back to the drugstore. 
He asked for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.

The pharmacist looked sympathetically at him and said, 
"Look, I'm not trying to pry, but if it makes you sick, why 
do you keep doing it?"

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

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To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com


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