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Publication: Laff A Day
Keep your hands off my wife's feet.

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LAFF A DAY - Thursday, May 29, 2008

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was just sitting around at the office paying my bills when 
I came across a charge my wife made at the day spa for $200! 

200 bucks! And what do they do? A pedicure, a massage and a 
facial? A) Do you really want some stranger goofing around 
with your feet and trimming your toenails for you? B) A good 
back rub is almost guaranteed to get my wife in the mood, 
which means she gets one from me at leat two, maybe three 
times a month. Is some one hundred pound Chinese chick going 
to do a better job than her own husband? C) And as far as a 
facial goes, everybody knows that semen is the best thing 
for a woman's complexion. 



There were two old men sitting on a park bench talking.
One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?"

Second old man replied, "I think she may be Dead!"

First old man, "What do you mean you think she is DEAD?"

Second old man, "Well.... the sex is the same but the 
dishes are starting to pile up."

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Three men met at a party, and it wasn't long until the con-
versation got around to their line of work and what kind of 
cars they drove.

"I'm a veterinarian," said the first fellow, "so, naturally, 
I drive a white Vette."

As they smiled and nodded, the second man said, "I own a 
sign company, so I drive a purple Neon."

Now the third guy was suddenly quiet until he was egged on 
by the other two. "Well", he finally said, "I'm a proctolo-
gist...and I have a brown Probe." 

"I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page 
records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but 
man's failure." --Chief Justice Earl Warren 

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Thomas and Tamara were attending a dinner party so that 
Thomas's mother could meet Tamara for the first time. 
Towards the end of the evening, Tamara approached Thomas 
and asked if there was a problem, as Thomas's mother 
seemed to be avoiding her after their first introduction.

"Honestly, my dear," Thomas said, "Mother finds you to be, 
how should I put it, a bit on the crude side."

"Crude? Doesn't she know that I come from one of the most 
respected families in Boston, that I was educated in 
Switzerland, that I attended the finest finishing schools 
on the East Coast and that I obtained a master's degree at 
Vassar, graduating Magna Cum Laud?"

Tamara asked. "Yes, yes, my love, I told her all that." 

Thomas replied. "Then where in the fuck does that cunt come 
off with all that crude bullshit?"

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  Laffaday Book


To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com


Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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