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Publication: Laff A Day
That's what I get for having a wife and kids.

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LAFF A DAY - Friday, July 18, 2008

Greetings Laff Lovers,

It's only three days after payday and I'm already short of 
cash. That's what I get for having a wife and kids. 

Anyway, Lewis and I were heading out to lunch earlier today. 

"Hey, do you have change for a hundred dollar bill?" I asked 
as we drove to the restaurant. 

"I think I do," he said pulling a wad of bills out of his 
pocket. "Here," he said handing me five twenties. 

"Great, thanks," I said pocketing the money. "I'll give you 
the hundred on Monday." 



"This week, the Bush administration added the 1 millionth 
name to the U.S. terrorist-watch list. So congratulations 
to Peggy Watkins of Phoenix, Ariz." -Conan O'Brien

Mike Douglas: Moments and Memories DVD 

Normal Price: $19.99
OUR PRICE: $17.99

You will absolutely love this nostalgic look back at The Mike 
Douglas Show and the man behind it who became America's best 
loved daytime talk show host to over 6 million viewers. 

The DVD features a collection of interviews and performance 
segments with former guests, including John Lennon and Yoko 
Ono, Bill Cosby, Bob Newhart, Dr. Martin Luther King, Steve 
Martin, Billy Crystal, Tiger Woods, Mel Brooks and many others. 

It's a "who's who" of stars that you won't want to miss. It's
truly a collectible treasure and it's the first-time access 
to the full catalog of episodes has been granted.

An entertaining and heartwarming reminder of the era of classic 
television entertainment. Plus we've got a wonderful sneak-peek
at what's on it. Check out the link below to watch a very rare
and exciting video clip from the show featuring John Lennon 
AND Chuck Berry. Mike Douglas: Moments and Memories DVD

"As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual 
certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human 
life--so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an 
archbishop so you can meet girls." --Matt Cartmill

Here are 10 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres 
ever aired on British TV and radio...

1) Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator:

"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this 
morning and it was amazing!"

2) New Zealand Rugby Commentator:

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of 

3) Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator:

"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

4) Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977:

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is 
kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."
5) US PGA Com mentator:

"One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold Palmer] is playing so well 
is that before each tee shot his wife takes out his balls 
and kisses them. Oh my god!! What have I just said?"

Relax & Energize, Revive Tired Muscles & Relieve Stress...

Normal Price: $4.99 
DEAL PRICE: $2.49 - Get two for $3.98

Release stress by massaging muscles and by activating 
acupressure points, which send signals to relax all the parts 
of the body. They are acupressure-hard to the touch and feel 
GREAT pressed into your muscles. Try them on your back, your 
feet (my favorite!), and hands. They are amazing... Makes a 
GREAT GIFT For Men, and Women. Great for Foot massages and foot 
spur relief. Great For Stress Relief, Pregnancy Relief Foot Rub, 
Back Rub, Hand Rub, Self Massage.

Using mini massage balls this massager will relax tense muscles 
and stirs up circulation. It's both gentle and comfortable to use.
Pets love it too! 

Plus our amazing price of this will relieve even more tension... 
and we'll even discount it more if you buy more than one. Get 
two and save an additional $1.00... two for $3.98 


6) A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed 
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 

"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"

7) Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:

"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

8) Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North 

"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold 
night like this."

9) Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 

"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance 
he gets."

10) Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up 
to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse 
coverage remarked:

"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and 
he's only come in his shorts."

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  Laffaday Book


To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com


Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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