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Publication: Laff A Day
Only if I can do you first.

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LAFF A DAY - Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Greetings Laff Lovers,

After spending company time surfing around for porno the other 
day I was inspired to ask the wife if I could tie her up to 
our bed and whip her ass with a clothes hanger. 

To my surprise she said, "Only if I can do you first," to which 
I readily agreed. 

That turned out to be a mistake. How could I know that once she 
had me tied up she would snap my balls in a mouse trap? 



"Damit, when you get married, you kind of expect you're 
going to get a little sex." 
 --Jeremiah Denton, senator from Alabama, 1981-86. Denton  
 had offered a bill providing criminal immunity for raping 
 a spouse. 


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Did you hear the report that the leading manufacturer of 
imported vibrators is a Japanese firm that now calls itself 
Genital Electric?

What is you sign?

AQUARIUS You have an inventive mind and are a progressive 
thinker. You also lie a lot and are inclined to be careless 
and impractical, making the same mistakes over and over. 
Everyone thinks you are a jerk. 

PISCES You have a vivid imagination and often think you are 
being followed by the CIA. You have some influence over your 
friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. 
Underneath it all you lack confidence and are generally a 
coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their 
noses a lot. 

ARIES You are the pioneer type and have strong leadership 
tendencies, but you regard others with contempt. You are 
quick tempered, impatient and don't take well to advice. 
You are a Melvin. 

TAURUS You are down to earth and persistent. You are de-
termined and can work like hell. Most people think that 
you are a pig headed not the best. You're probably a 

GEMINI You are quick and intelligent - a thinker. People 
like you because you are bisexual, You are also a cheap bar 
steward, expecting everything for nothing. Gemini's are 
notorious for thriving on incest. 

CANCER You are extremely sensitive by nature and very 
caring. You are a wimp, You are hopeless at making decisions 
and that is why you will always be on welfare and you will 
never be worth a lot. 


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LEO Leo people are born leaders but most people think they 
are just pushy. Most Leo's are bullies. They are assholes 
who break down under honest criticism. Your arrogance is 
disgusting. Leo People are thieving bullies who kiss mirrors 
a lot. 

VIRGO You are the logical type and detest disorder. Nit-
picking makes your friends sick. You are cold and 
unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgo's 
make good bus drivers and pimps. 

LIBRA Librans are lucky in employment and financial matters. 
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with 
reality. If you are male then you are probably queer. Most 
Libran woman are whores. All Librans die of V. D. 

SCORPIO You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. 
You will reach the pinnacle of success because of your 
total lack of ethics. You are a perfect Son of a bitch. 
Most Scorpio people are murdered. 

SAGITTARIUS You are optimistic and enthusiastic with a 
reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. 
Most Sagitarians are drunks or pot heads. People laugh at 
you a lot because you are always messing things up. 

CAPRICORN you are conservative and afraid of taking risks. 
You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a 
Capricorn of any importance, you should kill yourself.

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  Laffaday Book


To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com


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