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LAFF A DAY - Friday, June 13, 2008
*************************************************************

Greetings Laff Lovers,

It looks like it's going to be in the 80s and sunny tomorrow, 
which means every asshole and his brother is going to be on 
the golf course...I'd better call for a tee time right now. 

Sometimes I like walking the course by myself. It gives me 
time to concentrate on my game and clear my mind of dis-
tractions. But maybe I'll ask Lewis to go with me tomorrow. 
He is fun to play with because he is enthusiastic, but he 
sucks just bad enough to make me look good. 

Plus, when Lewis and I play together frequently our wives 
will also spend the afternoon together, and then my wife 
tells Lewis' wife about my virtuoso-like performances in 
the bedroom, and that makes me look good, too. 

Self-satisfiedly, 

TZ


"If you ask me, this country could do with a little less 
motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble seem 
highly motivated to me. Serial killers, stock swindlers, 
drug dealers, Christian Republicans. I'm not sure that 
motivation is always a good thing. You show me a lazy prick 
lying in bed all day watching TV, and I'll show you a guy 
who's not causing any trouble." --George Carlin 



Repel Insects Effectively Without Smelly Candles or Sprays
       The Decorative Citronella Sticker 12-Pack

Store Price: $9.99
OUR PRICE: $4.99

These attractive decorative stickers will keep insects at bay 
without harming the environment. The citronella scent is a 
natural insect repellent that is harmless to humans and pets
and will freshen your house or RV. Sticks to windows, door
frames, mirrors and more. Great for camping or around the 
house, these 12 self adhesive stickers each covers up to 50
square feet and are effective for up to 30 days. 

Repellent Sticker 12-pack



"You've got a good lawyer to take care of the estate?" asked 
her mother. 

"Oh, don't talk to me about lawyers," said the recent widow 
angrily. "I've had so much trouble over the property. Some-
times I wish Frank had never died."



"Once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes 
to think little of robbing; and from robbing, he comes next 
to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility 
and procrastination."  --Thomas De Quincey 

[And eventually to masturbation...I'm sure.]



PORTABLE FOLDING iPOD SPEAKERS

Store Price: $14.99 
DEAL PRICE: $5.99 

This convenient folding speaker system is perfect for in your 
home office, on the road, just about anywhere. Enjoy stereo 
sound from these aluminum speakers anywhere you go. Conveniently 
folds to a compact size too. Powered 3 ways so you can plug them 
in at home with the USB Cord (included), or AC adaptor (not 
included). Or use 4 x "AAA" batteries (not included) to make it 
completely portable. 

PRODUCT FEATURES:
- Amplified Aluminum Speaker: Enjoy stereo sound anywhere you go. 

- Folding Speakers: Speakers fold to a compact size for easy 
  storage and portability. 

- Battery Powered: Uses 4 AAA batteries (not included). 

- USB Powered: Plug into your computer's USB port (cable included). 

- AC Powered: Plug into any standard 110 Volt AC wall outlet in 
  your home (not included). 

Grab a set or two. I guarantee you'll love them. 

Portable Folding iPod Speakers



There was a clerk in a small town general store in the South. 
One day, a tall man entered the store and began filling a 
shopping cart with items. 

This man was so distinctive in that he could have been 
the official spokesperson for Quaker Oats. He was dressed 
in black, very tall and had that hat just like the Quaker 
Oats guy wears. 

Well, the clerk had never seen a Quaker before, let alone 
talked to one. When the man reached the counter with his 
selections the clerk could hardly contain himself. "Are 
you a real Quaker?" he asked as he was ringing up the 
merchandise. 

"Yes," the tall man said with a little edge in his voice. 

"No joke?" asked the clerk, "You're really a real Quaker?" 

The man, looking a little more perturbed, said, "Yes, I am 
a real Quaker." 

"Wow!" the young clerk said, "I never seen a real Quaker 
before. Would you say something in Quaker talk for me?" 
asked the clerk. 

The tall man ignored this request and waited for his mer-
chandise to be tallied up. "Please mister, say something 
in Quaker talk?" 

The man finally leaned over the counter in a gesture of 
secrecy. The clerk leaned forward in order to hear the 
quiet reply. The man said, "Fuck Thee."


P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum


------------------------------------------------------------

           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  
  Laffaday Book

------------------------------------------------------------

To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com

____________________________________________________________

END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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