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                    THE INTERNET TUTOR
                      June 29, 2006

This week...

- Webmaster Tip: Set Homepage Link
- Surfin' the Web: The Long Awkward Pose
- Software Spotlight: Affiliate Link Cloaker
- The Oddball Wall: Iowa This and That
- Computer Tip: Speeding Up Menu Performance in XP

A newly divorced woman was hiking through the woods when she came 
upon a fairy hopelessly snagged in a tree. "If you free me," the 
fairy told her, "I'll grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the fairy immediately. The fairy told her she could 
have her three wishes, but said there was a small catch -- whatever
she wished for, her cheating ex-husband would receive double.

She thought for a moment and said that would be just fine. For her 
first wish she asked for a million dollars. The fairy granted her 
wish and gave her one million dollars and her husband two million 

For her second wish she asked for the most handsome man in the 
world to be madly in love with her. In an instant the fairy con-
jured up her dream man and gave her cheating ex-husband the two 
most beautiful women in the world.

For her third wish, she asked to be beaten half to death.

Lose Weight Now: Oprah & 60 Minutes Agree Hoodia Works

Curb Your Cravings(R) Hoodia Patch System is here to help you.
All natural Hoodia is an appetite suppressant: You can
eat less, reduce your calorie intake and the lose weight. 

 "I'd have to say Hoodia did work" - Leslie Stahl, 60 minutes

Get your One (1) Week Free* Trial. 100% Satisfaction Guarantee.
Visit: Lose Weight Now with Hoodia

WEBMASTER TIP - Set Homepage Link

Note: In code examples I add a period after each left arrow
bracket so the code can be viewed in all e-mail programs. If you
copy and paste, be sure to remove the periods or it won't work.

Question: What's the code for making a link on a page that sets that
page to the user's home page?

Simon Says: This only works in IE, and be sure to tell them what the
link does rather than surprising them. Here's the JavaScript:

Make HTMLville Your
Just change the URL to the page you want to have set as the home page
and the link text to something appropriate.

Leading Diabetic Supplier Offers Huge Savings. Do You Qualify?

Approximately 1 in 5 diabetics qualify for large discounts on
supplies and they don't even know it. Are you one of them? Find
out by completing this 60 second questionnaire. You will also
receive a free subscription to the Diabetic Digest, a bi-
monthly, cutting edge e-zine offering the latest information
and research on the cure for this disease. See if you qualify
for discounts from a leading supplier by visiting: 

From The Leader In Diabetic Supplies

SURFIN' THE WEB - The Long Awkward Pose
The premise is fun...just trick your friends and family into posing
for a picture, but secretly videotape them posing while you stall 
and don't take a picture.
How long with the victims continue to pose? What name will they call
the trickster when they find out they've been set up? How dumb will
they look as their antics grow desperate?
Enjoy the videos, then send in your own to help the site grow.
Warning: adult language is used in a couple of the videos.

          GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Do you believe the official story that on 9-11, 19 Arab hi-
jackers planned and were responsible for the tragic events?
 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week

SOFTWARE SPOTLIGHT - Affiliate Link Cloaker
Are you trying to make money using affiliate links on your web 
site? If so, do you know you are probably getting cheated out 
of your affiliate commissions?
Some people will change your affiliate ID to theirs so they get 
the product at a discount instead of you getting your rightful 
commission payment. Others, for some reason, just don't like 
the idea of you getting a commission even though you brought 
the product information to their attention, so they cut off your 
affiliate ID and just got to the main site with no one getting 
You can stop both of those cheaters from depriving you of your 
rightful affiliate commission with Affiliate Link Cloaker. Why 
get cheated when it's easy to prevent?
Note: I do not provide support for the featured software. Contact 
the software vendor for support. No warranty is made or implied 
as to the usefulness or appropriateness of featured software.


Store Price: $19.99

Famous Ginsu Knife Set... Even our regular price of $19.99
is so much cheaper than what you would pay on TV.

You've seen them on TV, now you can own a set of your own 
for only $2.99. These Ginsu Knives are legendary for their 
ability to cut through just about anything and stay sharp. 
And in this 10 piece set you will get: 

*One Meat Cleaver/Turkey Carver/Bread Slicer 
*One Paring Knife 
*One Fruit and Vegetable Knife 
*One Utility Knife 
*And Six Steak Knives 

This same set can be sold in stores for as much as $30, but 
through this exclusive, last chance offer you can get the
complete set for JUST $2.99. Check them out by visiting: 
Famous Ginsu Knife Set

THE ODDBALL WALL - Iowa This and That
On this day in 1863, the very 1st First National Bank opened in
Davenport, Iowa. Since I'm from Iowa and it's the only state that
starts with two vowels, it's time for a little home grown trivia.
1) Wisconsin's nickname is the Badger State, Utah is the Beehive
State, what is Iowa's nickname?
a. Buckeye State   b. Prairie State   c. Hawkeye State
2) What is the capital of Iowa?
a. Ames   b. Des Moines   c. Dubuque
3) Why is Burlington, Iowa listed in Ripley's Believe It Or Not?
a. For having the shortest street in the world (Cutter Street)
b. For having the crookedest street in the world (Snake Alley)
c. For having the slowest Main Street speed limit (5 mph)
4) The largest cereal company in the world is located in Cedar Rapids,
Iowa. Which one is it?
a. Quaker Oats   b. General Mills   c. Post
5) What's unique about the courthouse in Dubuque?
a. It's the only courthouse in the state with a gold dome.
b. It's the only courthouse in the US built entirely underground.
c. It's the only courthouse in the world with an indoor swimming pool.
6) The National Sprint Car Hall of Fame and Museum is the only museum
in the country dedicated to preserving the history of sprint car
racing. What city is it in?
a. Story City   b. Okiboji   c. Knoxville
7) Which US President was born in West Branch, Iowa, and was the first
president born west of the Mississippi River?
a. Herbert Hoover   b. Ronald Reagan   c. Dwight Eisenhower
8) Donnabelle Mullenger and Marion Morrison are Hollywood icons who
were both born in Iowa. What are their screen names?
a. Donna Douglas and Cary Grant
b. Donna Reed and John Wayne
c. Donna Mills and Mary Tyler Moore
And now for a question that's sure to float your boat...
9) What is Iowa's only town located on an island?
a. Spirit Lake   b. Estherville   c. Sabula
Answers below, here's the scoring:
9 correct: Perfection!
7-8 correct: Outstanding
5-6 correct: Very Good
2-4 correct: Fairly Fair
0-1 correct: Turn the TV off
1) c. Hawkeye State
2) b. Des Moines
3) b. For having the crookedest street in the world (Snake Alley)
4) a. Quaker Oats
5) a. It's the only courthouse in the state with a gold dome.
6) c. Knoxville
7) a. Herbert Hoover
8) b. Donna Reed and John Wayne
9) c. Sabula


COMPUTER TIPS - Speeding Up Menu Performance in XP
Windows XP, when it needs to, will sacrifice speed for style. 
What I mean by that is the fade-in and fade-out look of the 
menu may look cool, but sometimes looking cool is at the ex-
pense of faster opening and closing of the menus.
To skip the visual effect in favor of increasing the speed:
1) Right-click the My Computer icon
2) Choose Properties from the context menu
3) Click the Advanced tab
4) Click the Settings button in the Performance area
5) Select Adjust For Best Performance
6) Click OK and you'll be up to speed
Disclaimer: Advice in this column is presented as informational
and is true to the best of my knowledge. Any decisions to follow
this advice is your responsibility. Your computer, your choice.


Until next week, ponder these words of Bernard Baruch: Millions 
saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.

Have an interesting day, Simon

Questions? Comments? Email me at: tutor@gophercentral.com


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