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Publication: Gopher Bits
Misery loves company.

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           GOPHER BITS - Friday, February 23, 2007
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com


I'm in for it now. I'm still not sure how she did it, but 
somehow the wife managed to talk me into coaching our son's 
new T-Ball team. I thought T-Ball would be a great way to 
get the boy out of the house and away from the GameBoy, but 
now it looks like I am the one who is going to be forced 
out of the house four days a week. I got her back, though, 
I refused to do it unless she became an assistant coach. 
If I'm going to have to wrangle twelve or thirteen little 
booger-machines she's going to share in the misery. 

By the way, if you haven't seen the bizarre Britney Spears 
video check out the link for it right below this column.




     ?                                                ?
     ?   This Week's Top Viewed Videos on EVTV1.com   ?
     ?                                                ?


1. Teacher Fondled in Classroom By Under Age Boy

2. Carmen Electra Aerobic Striptease

3. Crocodile Hunter Meets Ross The Intern

4. Miles Davis - Cool Jazz Sound

5. When Britney Attacks

**  For more of the newest video every week, click for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

Subscribe to EVTV1

Charlie Chan Says: Number ONE DVD Collection

Store Price: $129.99
DEAL PRICE: $89.99

OK, if you EVER liked the classic Charlie Chan movie series
from the 30s and 40s, here is your chance to own EVERY Chan
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All of these can be yours for a $40 savings. This lovingly
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only $89.99. That’s right almost $2 per feature film. It
would cost you more to rent than to purchase these.

Order this collection now. This makes a great gift item for
those over 50 who grew up watching this classic series.

Charlie Chan Complete Platinum DVD Collection

********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************

Matthew & Meg Dating...   

Meg Ryan is reportedly dating Matthew Perry.   

The pair are rumored to have been dating since December but   
have been trying to keep their romance a secret.   

Matthew has even asked his 'Friends' co-star Courteney Cox   
for advice on befriending Meg's adopted daughter, Daisy and   
son Jack.   

A source said, "Matthew usually doesn't seek anyone's advice.   
So they can tell he cares about Meg."   

A source close to Meg said: "Meg is putting her life in place,   
and adopting Daisy was big step, but she would love to share   
her life with someone special." 

Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz

*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK **************** 

---------- Man Mistakes Porn Soundtrack For Rape -----------   

WAUKESHA, Wis., A Wisconsin man burst through his neighbor's   
door armed with a sword to save what he thought was a rape   
victim -- and found a man watching porn. Would-be savior   
James Van Iveren now faces charges of criminal trespass to   
a dwelling, criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct   
all while armed with a dangerous weapon, The Waukesha (Wis.)   
Freeman reported Tuesday. The neighbor told police last week   
Van Iveren kicked in his door and used a sword to back him   
into a closet, all the while demanding, "Where is she?" The   
alleged victim said what his neighbor heard was the soundtrack   
to a pornographic movie he was enjoying in the privacy of his   
apartment. When Van Iveren failed to find any women stashed in   
the flat, he said the incident was "a mistake" and went home,   
the newspaper said. The sword-wielding Samaritan was released   
on signature bond and ordered back in court March 9.

Subscribe to Bizarre News

        ----- Crocodile Hunter Tribute on DVD -----

Before he died, Steve Irwin, the great "Crocodile Hunter"
made a feature film that has now become a collectible
treasure and loving tribute to the man who loved nature.
Irwin’s legacy will be with us forever because he captured
so many magnificent memories on video. Plus you can save:

Store Price: $9.99
OUR PRICE: $7.99

If you ever liked watching Steve, you will LOVE this 
special DVD that has now been reduced in price to make it 
affordable to anyone who appreciated his loving spirit.

Crocodile Hunter - Collision Course - $7.99

********************* WEEKLY JOKES ********************** 


After a tourist had been served in the Las Vegas cocktail   
lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said, "Miss, would   
y'all give me a piece of ass?"   

She looked him over, smiled and said, "Sure, why not? It's   
pretty slow here right now, so let's go!"   

When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down   
at the same table and the waitress asked, "Will there be   
anything else?"   

"Yes," replied the tourist.   

"Where ah come from in Arkansas, we lack our bourbon 'n watuh   
cold, so ah still need a piece uh ass for mah drink."

      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 

Subscribe to Laff A Day


I'm sure if the customer had taken two seconds, he probably   
would have come up with the answer to his question on his   
own. But instead he called information.   

"I'm looking for the number of a business," he said when I   
picked up his call.   

"What's the name of the business?" I asked.   


Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 

  Magic Auto Car Mop - It's Not Just For Cars Anymore

This amazing dust mop was originally designed for cars but 
it works so well in removing dust you can use it practically 
anywhere. This 100% cotton mop won't scratch even the most
delicate of surfaces and it has an easy grip handle giving
you the ultimate comfort. You can use it on:

  Dash Boards    *  Auto Interior      *  Photo Frames
  Auto Exterior  *  Hub Caps and Rims  *  Lamp Shades
  Blinds	 *  Railings           *  Electronics

These Silicone coated dusters work so well you will want to 
keep one in the trunk of your car and one in your home. And 
you can't beat the price, it's just $4.99. BUT WAIT, if you 
purchase two or more you can get them for $3.99 Each!

Auto Car Mop

******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************

                 Rescue Me - Save The Cat

In this clip, Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary) does what he does 
best and saves a little girl from a burning building. He 
also goes back in to save Mr. Wiskers the little girls cat. 
Will he make it out? Watch and find out. 

View it at: Rescue Me - Save The Cat

More great videos for every interest at:  www.evtv1.com 

    ?                                                  ?
    ?        We've got an offer you can't refuse       ?
    ?                                                  ?

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expensive. But it looks like a million bucks!


Store Price: $9.99
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Here's an item that EVERY ONE loves... it makes for a 
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This Wedding Crystal is simply astonishing. Unmatched beauty 
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At this price, you'll want to buy a few of them to have on 
hand for any upcoming weddings. To see a picture of this,
visit: Today's Deal of the Day

           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Is the recent non-binding resolution on Iraq that was passed 
by the House meaningful?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week

To see more issues like this visit: Gopher Bits Archives
More Free Fun & Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com

END OF GOPHER BITS - Another FREE Gopher Central publication 
Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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