Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters | Forums

Custom Search
Publication: Gopher Bits
Marriages are soluble in pool water.

Subscribe FREE to Gopher Bits by clicking here.

           GOPHER BITS - Friday, September 29, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com


Here's a tip for all of you married folks out there. If you 
want to preserve your marriage do not buy a pool. I have 
been trying to button up our pool for the winter for the 
last two weekends and the fights it has created between my 
wife and I has brought more stress into the house than any-
thing else. 

When we were trying to decide which giant inflatable pillow 
to buy to put under the tarp my wife got so upset she 
suggested, right in the middle of the store, that my parents 
weren't married. 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Forum


     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?


Which is the odd one out?



"Can you believe I fathered him with just one testicle?" 

              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


Store Price: $19.99

Famous Ginsu Knife Set... Even our regular price of $19.99
is so much cheaper than what you would pay on TV.

You've seen them on TV, now you can own a set of your own 
for only $2.99. These Ginsu Knives are legendary for their 
ability to cut through just about anything and stay sharp. 
And in this 10 piece set you will get: 

*One Meat Cleaver/Turkey Carver/Bread Slicer 
*One Paring Knife 
*One Fruit and Vegetable Knife 
*One Utility Knife 
*And Six Steak Knives 

This same set can be sold in stores for as much as $30, but 
through this exclusive, last chance offer you can get the
complete set for JUST $2.99. Check them out by visiting: 
Famous Ginsu Knife Set

********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************

Clooney and Zellweger Dating Again?

Word is George Clooney has reconciled his romance with Renee 
Zellweger. The two were romantically linked for two months in 
late 2001, shortly before Clooney started dating on/off girl-
friend Krista Allen. Reports have come out that George and 
Renee met at the Tower Bar restaurant in Los Angeles' Sunset 
Tower Hotel on Sunday for a romantic dinner. According to 
onlookers, the pair "cuddled, held hands and then slow danced 
to the piano music."

Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz

*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK **************** 

--- Congratulations! Your 3-Year-Old Just Bought A Car! ----

SLEAFORD, England - A 3-year-old British boy showed just what 
a wiz he is at bidding on the Internet, buying a car off 
eBay. Rachel and Jack Neal of Sleaford say their young son, 
Jack, recently spent $17,106.00 for a Barbie pink Nissan 
Figaro off the auction site, the Sun reports. The Neals found 
out about Jack's endeavor when they received a congratulatory 
message. Since Jack was sleeping at the time, the Neals had 
to wait until the next morning to ask him what he did. "I've 
bought a car," he happily told his parents. The Neals say 
Jack has been using the Internet since he was 2 and apparent-
ly got hold of his mother's eBay password. After the Neals 
explained the situation, the seller has agreed to re-advertise 
the car.

Subscribe to Bizarre News

I'm Walking Here....

Here's an item (the Telescopic Walking Stick) that I never 
really thought I would use. But I decided to try it out
when we went for a walk along a trail a few weeks ago. 

It was fun to use.... yes I said fun. When we would come up
to a stream, I would poke at things in it. I also used it
when I wanted to venture off the beaten path, just to make
sure that there were no snakes in front of me. Believe it or 
not, it made the walk more enjoyable. Check it out and the 
unbelievable low price. 

Normal Price: $19.99

Whether you're an avid hiker or just looking for a little
extra help walking around, the Telescopic Walking Stick is
just what you need. It's fully adjustable to fit your height
and the spring loaded shaft helps reduce strain on your wrists, 
back, knees, legs and feet. With a built in compass it will get 
you through hard rocky terrain or just across the street. 

Make Walking Fun with The Walking Stick

********************* WEEKLY JOKES ********************** 


John was in a bar looking very dejected. His friend, Steve, 
walked over and asked, "What's wrong?" 

"It's my mother-in-law," John replied, while shaking his 
head sadly. "I have a real problem with her." 

"Cheer up," Steve said. "Everyone has problems with their 

"Maybe," John answered. "But I got mine pregnant."

      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 

Subscribe to Laff A Day


In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light 
into a conch shell I found on the beach.  My wife took an 
instant dislike to it, and at the next yard sale, it was the 
first thing she put out. 

I felt vindicated when a woman kept coming back to check it 
out and finally bought it. 

"That'll look great in your home," I said. 

"Oh," she replied.  "It's not for me."  My bridge club is 
having a charity sale, and we were asked to bring the most 
hideous thing we could find. What I have here is the winner!"

Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 

Parents, Grandparents, Students & Children LOVE THIS...

Store Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $4.99 or less

This complete, 68-piece art set promotes creativity, expression 
and of course fun! Both children and adults will love this
all-encompassing art kit that includes:

- 12 Crayons       - 12 Colored Pencils  - 12 Colored Markers
- 12 Oil Pastels   - 1 Liquid Glue       - 12 Watercolor Paints  
- 1 Paint Brush    - 1 Pencil Eraser     - 1 Pencil Sharpener
- 1 Paint Pallet   - 1 Drawing Pencil    - 1 Transparent Ruler
- And a Handsome and Functional Storage Case with Carry Handle

Get this complete set for just $4.99... have a gift to get?
Pick-up two sets for just $7.98. Check it out, by visiting: 

Complete 68-Piece Creativity Art Set

******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************

                  Kung Fu Hustle Trailer

The martial arts comedy 'Kung Fu Hustle' became an inter-
national hit in 2004. Director and lead actor Stephen 
Chow's previous film, 'Shaolin Soccer' was the highest 
grossing film in Hong Kong cinema until this movie. 

View it at: Kung Fu Hustle

More great videos for every interest at:  www.evtv1.com 

    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?


Which is the odd one out?



"Keyboards". All the other words contain names from the 12 
signs of the zodiac: bound-Aries, Cancer-ous, Libra-rian, 
Scorpio-ns, chame-Leo-n.


"Can you believe I fathered him with just one testicle?" 


Dustin Hoffman as Bernie Focker in "Meet the Fockers"

           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

        On the whole, are you happy with Congress?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week

To view recent issues please visit: Gopher Bits Archives
More Free Fun and Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com

END OF GOPHER BITS - Another FREE Gopher Central publication 
Copyright 2006 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Gopher Bits by clicking here.

The Gopher Bits Forum
Isreal and America
Welcome to Gopher Bits!
View this Forum | Post a topic to this forum

Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters