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           GOPHER BITS - Friday, March 31, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com

Comment The Post Below...


Can you believe tomorrow's April already? I wouldn't, but 
my wife keeps reminding me. She keeps reminding me that 
the weather is getting nicer and it's about that time to 
start the outside chores. So this weekend, I'm going to 
get my fishing equipment together and start getting my gear 
ready for softball season. 

Have a Great Weekend!


P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog


     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?


For every number, read the lettered clues and try to find 
what that clue refers to. Once you have found out all the 
words in that section, put them together to try to make a 
single, larger word. The lettered clues are in the order 
they are in the word. The spelling may be off, so you will 
have to sound it out. 


A) Not out: _ _ 
B) One two three: _ _ _ _ 
C) Slang for mother: _ _ 
D) To avoid: _ _ _ _ 


Try the following. 

a) Plus: _ _ _ 
b) Opening for fumes: _ _ _ _ 
c) Of course!: _ _ _ _ 

a) Before suffix: _ _ _ 
b) Did convey: _ _ _ _ 
c) 1st in alphabet: _ 
d) Avoid: _ _ _ _ 

a) 5th in alphabet: _ 
b) Joke: _ _ _ _ 
c) Deliberate intention: _ _ _ _ _


"Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the 
right broom."

              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 

        America's Funniest Home Videos Now on DVD
              The Best of Kids and Animals

For over 15 years America has been tuning their televisions
sets in to watch this hilarious show. Now you can get the
best of the best on DVD with this 3 Disc Set for $29.99. 
You'll get over 3 hours of hilarious footage featuring the
show's funniest kids and animals. This is a collection you 
don't want to miss. Order yours by visiting: 

America's Funniest Home Videos

******************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *******************

Not Model Behavior.... 

Supermodel Naomi Campbell was arrested in New York City and 
booked on Thursday morning. The charge? Assault... She 
allegedly threw an object at her assistant hitting her on 
the head. Word is her assistant had to go to the hospital 
and receive stitches at a nearby hospital.

Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz

************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK *************** 

--------- Senior 'calendar girls' save courthouse ---------

INDIANAPOLIS - Seven senior women, ages 76 to 94, just about 
took it all off for a calendar to raise money to save an 
Indiana courthouse -- and it worked. A vote by Randolph 
County Commissioners to rescind their decision to raze the 
county courthouse is being credited in part to the calendar. 
"We all feel sure that thing would have been long gone if we 
hadn't done the calendar," Eileen Herron, an 87-year-old 
Farmland resident known to calendar buyers as "Miss October," 
told the Indianapolis Star. The calendar, which netted more 
than $20,000, shows the women mostly disrobed -- but pre-
serving their honor with strategically placed small replicas 
of the 19th century courthouse.

Subscribe to Bizarre News

  Relive One of the Man In Black's Greatest Performances
          Johnny Cash Live From Austin on DVD

Following the success and popularity of Joaquin Phoenix's 
portrayal of Johnny Cash in Walk the Line, we are proud to 
present this rare DVD featuring Johnny Cash's 1987 live 
appearance in Austin Texas. This moving DVD includes all 
90 minutes of the performance, featuring classics like 
"Ring of Fire," "Folsom Prison Blues," "I Walk the Line," 
"Long Black Veil," and "Ghost Riders in the Sky." Order 
yours today for just $19.99 when you visit: 

Johnny Cash Live From Austin

******************** WEEKLY JOKES ********************* 


Alex had hurt his finger while working on his model airplane. 
He ran to his mother, who kissed the wound and made it better. 

On the way to the store a little later, Alex fell off his bike 
and scraped his knee. He ran to his mother, who kissed it and 
made it better.

Returning from the store, Alex ran into the town bully, who 
kicked him in a very private part of his anatomy. Alex rushed 
home. His mother said, "Son, you're getting more like your 
father every day!"

      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 

Subscribe to Laff A Day


A farmer and his recently hired hand were eating an early 
breakfast of biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, bacon and 
coffee that the farmer's wife had prepared for them. 
Thinking of all the work they had to get done that day, 
the farmer told the hired man he might as well go ahead 
and eat his dinner too. 

The hired man didn't say a word, but filled his plate a 
second time and proceeded to eat. 

After awhile the farmer said, "We've got so much work to do 
today, you might as well eat your supper now too." 

Again, the hired man didn't respond but refilled his plate 
a third time and continued to eat. 

Finally, after eating his third plate of food, the hired man 
pushed back his chair & began to take off his shoes. 

"What are you doing?" the farmer asked. 

The hired man replied, "I don't work after supper."

Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 

      **** It's Time for Some Target Practice ****
             Airsoft Super Pistols NOW $2.99

Ideal for harmless target practice, the Airsoft Pistols are
spring loaded and shoot plastic BB's instead of real bullets.
Just load up the BB's in the magazine, pull back the
slide and you're ready to shoot away. Accurate, and cheap to 
shoot, these guns will provide hours of entertainment. The
first gun is only $2.99... Order by visiting: 

The AirSoft Super Pistol

****************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *******************

Dane Cook At The DMV

Let's face it? spending a day at the DMV is not what you 
want to do on any day. Watch and listen to Dane Cook 
describe what a typical experience is like. This is hil-
arious but it's also true. 

View it at: Dane Cook At The DMV

    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?


a) Plus: _ _ _ 
b) Opening for fumes: _ _ _ _ 
c) Of course!: _ _ _ _ 

a) Before suffix: _ _ _ 
b) Did convey: _ _ _ _ 
c) 1st in alphabet: _ 
d) Avoid: _ _ _ _ 

a) 5th in alphabet: _ 
b) Joke: _ _ _ _ 
c) Deliberate intention: _ _ _ _ _


1) Adventure (add-vent-sure) 
2) Presentation (pre-sent-a-shun) 
3) Equipment (e-quip-meant)


"Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the 
right broom."


Will Smith as Alex 'Hitch" Hitchens in "Hitch"

           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Do you believe President Bush is doing a good job in office?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week

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More Free Fun & Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com

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