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            GOPHER BITS - Friday, August 25, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings, 

By the way, I noticed nobody has taken advantage of our new 
Gopher Bits Forum. You'll find the link in the P.S. Here's 
your opportunity to let everybody know how cool you think 
Campbell is. 

And make sure you take a look at today's video clip at the 
bottom of the page. I just love those hidden camera gags. 
I find it hard to believe that these people actually give 
their permission for the footage to be aired on national 
television! 

Campbell

campbell@gophercentral.com

P.S. If you're interested we now have a forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Forum


=======================================================

     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?
     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 


TEASE: 

If you like pretty gems that sparkle and shine,   
I invite you to dig in my virtual mine.   
My first is purple, fit for a king,   
My second is green where Dorothy did her thing.   
My third is red, July's birthstone as well,   
My fourth is seen in strings and is found inside a shell.   
My fifth is hard, pure Carbon and expensive to buy,   
My sixth is Crocidolite, striped like the big cat's eye.   
Seventh is two words, a man-made fake of April's stone,   
Eighth is very dark and found at Lightning Ridge alone.   
Now take from each gem, one letter in its turn,   
And you will find the stuff for which even the gods yearn.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take 
your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner 
and never call her again." 


              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
 
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


------------------------------------------------------------
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------------------------------------------------------------


********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************

New 'Survivor' Sparks Controversy...

The 13th season of reality TV show Survivor has already 
sparked controversy by announcing that contestants will 
be divided into teams based on their race. The 20 par-
ticipants will be divided up into four tribes - African-
American, Asian-American, Hispanic and white. Survivor 
host Jeff Probst defended the decision saying, "The idea 
for this actually came from the criticism that 'Survivor' 
was not ethnically diverse enough. Because, for whatever 
reason, we've always had a low number of minority ap-
plicants for the show. So we set out and said, 'Let's 
turn this criticism into creative for the show.' I think 
it fits in perfectly with what Survivor does, as it is 
a social experiment and adding another layer to that ex-
periment, which is taking the show to a completely 
different level." 'Survivor: Cook Islands' will premiere 
on CBS on September 14th and will feature a wide range 
of individuals from all walks of life including a heavy 
metal guitarist, a boxer/waitress, a jazz musician and 
a professional volleyball player.


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK **************** 

---------- Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun? ----------

NEW DELHI - You would think this guy would be pretty popular 
with the women. A businessman in New Delhi is going to have 
surgery to remove one of his TWO penises so that he can 
marry and lead a normal sexual life. The man suffers from an 
extremely rare medical condition known as penile duplication 
or diphallus. "Two fully functional penes is unheard of even 
in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, 
one organ is rudimentary," the Times of India quoted a 
surgeon as saying. However, two is a crowd for this man, who 
wishes to undergo the challenging surgery and get on with 
his normal life. The surgery will be tough for doctors since 
both organs are well-formed and blood supply has to be 
ensured to the remaining penis for it to function normally. 


Subscribe to Bizarre News


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********************* WEEKLY JOKES ********************** 

LAFF A DAY: 

A man walks into a public men's room. His arms are held 
awkwardly out to his sides, forearms hanging limply, 
fingers spread apart. He approaches another man and asks,  
"Excuse me, but could you please unzip my fly?"   

The second fellow is embarrassed, but feels sorry for the   
stranger, who appears to be crippled. He thinks how   
humiliating it must be to have to ask for help for some-
thing like this, so he complies, unzipping the first man's 
pants.   

Next, the man asks him to hold his penis while he pees. 
The second guy is even more embarrassed, but does as he is 
asked.   

Finally, the first guy finishes, and the second man starts 
to put his penis back in his pants.   

"Oh, I can take care of that," the first man says, blowing 
on his fingers. "I think my nails are dry now." 


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


Subscribe to Laff A Day


CLEAN LAFFS: 

During the banquet celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary,   
Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the   
benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom,   
just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful   
years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the   
back of the room.   

Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best   
teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-   
restraint, meekness, forgiveness -- and a great many other   
qualities you wouldn't need if you stayed single."

 
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


------------------------------------------------------------
"Last week our house was robbed, but all of our valuables
were safe because the would-be burglars didn't even think
of looking for our hidden wall safe."
	-Karen

This revolutionary hidden wall safe looks like an ordinary
electrical wall socket, but in fact it's holds a hidden
compartment to store your valuables. Designed to fool even
the smartest of thieves, this wall safe can hold an entire
household's worth of money. Complete with its own saw for
easy installation, you can get one safe for $9.99, or save 
when you order two or more for $7.99 each. To order Visit:

Hidden Wall Safe
------------------------------------------------------------


******************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *********************

Justin Timberlake Gets Punk'd

Justin Timberlake was the first victim to Ashton Kutcher and 
his Punk'd MTV series. This is one of the best celebrity 
pranks ever! Watch as Justin calls his mommy to come rescue 
him.

View it at: Justin Timberlake Gets Punk'd



    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????



TEASE: 

If you like pretty gems that sparkle and shine,   
I invite you to dig in my virtual mine.   
My first is purple, fit for a king,   
My second is green where Dorothy did her thing.   
My third is red, July's birthstone as well,   
My fourth is seen in strings and is found inside a shell.   
My fifth is hard, pure Carbon and expensive to buy,   
My sixth is Crocidolite, striped like the big cat's eye.   
Seventh is two words, a man-made fake of April's stone,   
Eighth is very dark and found at Lightning Ridge alone.   
Now take from each gem, one letter in its turn,   
And you will find the stuff for which even the gods yearn.

TEASE ANSWER: The gems are...

Amethyst   
Emerald (Emerald city - Wizard of OZ)   
Ruby   
Pearl (From inside oyster shell)   
Diamond   
Tiger's eye   
Cubic Zirconium (Fake diamond)   
Black Opal   
Taking the first letter of Amethyst, second of Emerald etcetera   
gives Ambrosia - The food of the gods.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take 
your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner 
and never call her again." 

MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: 

David Koechner as Champ Kind in "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron 
Burgundy"


------------------------------------------------------------
           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Do you agree with Mike Gallagher (Fox News) that airports 
institute a "Muslims Only" security line?

     Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit: 

The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------

To see more issues please visit: Gopher Bits Archives
Want More Free Fun & Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com

------------------------------------------------------------

END OF GOPHER BITS - Another FREE Gopher Central publication 
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