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            GOPHER BITS - Friday, August 11, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
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Comment The Post Below...


Greetings, 

Have you folks heard of this NetFlix thing? It's pretty much 
the simplest way to rent videos you could possibly devise. 
And probably the cheapest, too. The wife and I just signed 
up recently and our first two DVDs showed up the other day. 

You pick movies out of a catalog of about 60,000 titles, and 
then NetFlix mails them to you. You come home and your DVDs 
are waiting for you in your mailbox. Take as much time as 
you need to watch them and then mail them back in a pre-paid 
envelope they provide you. As you as you mail the movies back 
NetFlix sends you two more!

You will never have to sit around thinking about what to rent 
again. 

Check out the free trial offer in the first ad below!

Campbell

campbell@gophercentral.com

P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog

==============================================

     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?
     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 


TEASE: 

With a 7-minute hourglass and an 11-minute hourglass, can   
you explain the quickest way to time a boiling egg for 15   
minutes?


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Man this Yoohoo is good, you know what else is good, smoking 
dope. I ain't gonna rat you out. You know, puffing the cheeba, 
go by the see saw smoke a j. You know what I'm talking about?" 


              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
 
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


------------------------------------------------------------
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And of course shipping is always free both ways. Get more 
info and browse the more than 60,000 titles by visiting: 

check out NetFlix
------------------------------------------------------------


******************** CELEBRITY NOOZ ********************

Kevin Smith, who also acts (he's Silent Bob), was attending 
a special screening of his cult film 'Clerks', in his home-
town of New Jersey when an unusual request was made during 
a question-and-answer session with fans.   

An attractive young woman approached him and said: "I need   
you to sign my ass", explaining it was so she could get it   
tattooed later.   

However, embarrassed Kevin declined her request, saying:   
"I don't sign body parts ma'am."


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK *************** 

----------- Luck Be Two Winning Lottery Tickets ------------

BEAUFORT, S.C. - A Beaufort, S.C., man who used to live on a 
street called Lottery Lane has won a second major prize from 
scratch-off lottery tickets in 20 days. Harold Gray, a self-
employed contractor, buys one scratch ticket every day, and 
last month won $250,000. Tuesday, his wife's 39th birthday, 
he bought a ticket worth $100,000, the Beaufort Gazette 
reported. "I had to go home and take a little medication to 
calm me down," Gray said. "I feel like I have a horseshoe 
stuck up my behind." He and his wife had already booked a 
cruise to the Bahamas later this month after their first win, 
but neither said they would quit their jobs. Gray said he 
would pay off his bills, buy a house and invest the rest for 
retirement.


Subscribe to Bizarre News


 . . . . . . . . . . BIG Desktop Calculator. . . . . . . . . 

Normal Price: $14.99
LIQUIDATION PRICE: $1.99  

This stylish and functional Calculator is perfect to keep on 
your desk or countertop. Also great for the workplace. B-I-G 
& easy to push keys make it simple to use. (I have one on my 
desk)

FEATURES INCLUDE:
- 8 Digit Display  - Auto Power Off      - Adjustable Head
- Solar Powered    - Memory Keys         - Big Display 

Pick up one, two or more. Remember this item is on 
LIQUIDATION and once they are gone they will no longer be 
available at this low price of $1.99.

Calculator Measure 5 3/4" x 6 1/2" - Sorry there is a limit 
of 6 per order. Just visit us to see it or to order at: 

BIG Desktop Calculator for JUST $1.99


******************* WEEKLY JOKES ******************** 

LAFF A DAY: 

After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I 
was admitted to the delivery room with my wife.   

It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally an-
nounced, "I've got the head now; just a few more minutes." 

"Is it a girl or boy?" I asked excitedly. 

The doctor replied, "It's hard to tell by the ears."


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


Subscribe to Laff A Day


CLEAN LAFFS: 

Coming out of the supermarket the other day, I saw a scary   
sight. As a woman loaded groceries into her trunk, her   
shopping cart began to roll away. The scary part? It was   
heading straight for my car.   

She ran after it, but was too late...the cart slammed into   
my driver's side door. "How bad's the damage?" I called out,   
running toward her.   

"Bad," she said, gathering her groceries. "I broke at least   
a dozen eggs."

 
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


------------------------------------------------------------
      **** It's Time for Some Target Practice ****
             Airsoft Super Pistols NOW $2.99

Ideal for harmless target practice, the Airsoft Pistols are
spring loaded and shoot plastic BB's instead of real bullets.
Just load up the BB's in the magazine, pull back the
slide and you're ready to shoot away. Accurate, and cheap to 
shoot, these guns will provide hours of entertainment. The
first gun is only $2.99... Order by visiting: 

The AirSoft Super Pistol
------------------------------------------------------------


******************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *********************

Fight Scene - Happy Gilmore

Watch as Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler) pairs up with Bob 
Barker in the Pepsi Pro-AM and instead of fighting the 
heckler; he fights Bob Barker and they both can take a 
punch.

View it at: Fight Scene - Happy Gilmore



    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????



TEASE: 

With a 7-minute hourglass and an 11-minute hourglass, can   
you explain the quickest way to time a boiling egg for 15   
minutes?

TEASE ANSWER: 

Start both hour glasses as the egg is dropped in the boiling   
water. When the sand stops running in the 7-minute hourglass,   
turn it over. When the sand stops running in the 11-minute   
hourglass, turn the 7-minute hourglass over and leave the   
11-minute hourglass. When the sand stops in the 7-minute   
hourglass, 15 minutes will have elapsed.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Man this Yoohoo is good, you know what else is good, smoking 
dope. I ain't gonna rat you out. You know, puffing the cheeba, 
go by the see saw smoke a j. You know what I'm talking about?"  

MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: 

Adam Sandler as Sonny Koufax in "Big Daddy"


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           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Do you think Fidel Castro's death would be good for the Cuban 
people?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------

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