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That's just the way I like it.

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           GOPHER BITS - Friday, September 1, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings, 

Welcome to September!

I hope you're all looking forward to the Labor Day weekend. 
Here in the Chicago area we are supposed to have clouds 
and rain on Monday...which is why I'm having my barbecue on 
Saturday! And if the forecast changes and Monday turns out 
to be sunny anyway...we'll barbecue again! That's using the 
old noodle, see. This is the last unofficial weekend of the 
Summer after all. I need to get in as much grilling as I can. 
Since we have no relatives or anybody coming over it's an 
open schedule. And that's just the way I like it.

Campbell

campbell@gophercentral.com

P.S. If you're interested we now have a forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Forum


=======================================================

     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?
     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 


TEASE: 

A chessboard measures eight squares by eight squares,   
containing 32 small black squares and 32 small white   
squares. However, a chessboard may be thought of as being   
made up of larger squares and rectangles, all composed of   
the smaller black and white squares. Can you determine   
just how many squares and rectangles a chessboard does   
contain? In other words, in how great a number of different   
ways is it possible to trace out a square or other   
rectangle enclosed by lines that separate the squares of   
the board.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted 
and now I have it. I rule!"


              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
 
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


------------------------------------------------------------
Exclusive Moody Blues Live in Paris on DVD
The Lost Performance...

This exclusive and recently discovered footage of The Moody
Blues has been transferred to DVD.

The Lost Performance captures the Moody Blues at the
pinnacle of their career in 1970 and features many of their
now classic hits like:

     - Nights In White Satin    - Ride My See-Saw
     - Tuesday Afternoon	- Question

and many, many more...  

For just $14.99 it's your front-row seat to a mind-blowing
evening of classic rock. Grab a copy by visiting: 

Moody Blues on DVD
------------------------------------------------------------


********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************

Jessica's New Man & Laryngitis...   

I sound like a donkey." That's what Jessica Simpson said after   
she cancelled a number of promotional appearances for her new   
album, A Public Affair, due to a bruised vocal cord.   

And in other Jessica news... it appears she has found love with   
fellow singer John Mayer. And the strange thing is John is also   
suffering from laryngitis and was forced to cancel a concert on   
Saturday in Connecticut, where he was opening for Sheryl Crow.


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK **************** 

--- Woman Learns Ruff Lesson When Teaching Dog To Drive ----   

BEIJING - A woman was trying to teach her dog how to drive   
when she crashed her car on Monday. The woman, identified   
only by her last name, Li, said her dog like to crouch on   
the steering wheel and often watched her drive. "She thought   
she would let the dog 'have a try' while she operated the   
accelerator and brake," the official Xinhua News Agency   
said. "They did not make it far before crashing into an   
oncoming car." There were no injuries in the crash but both   
vehicles had light damage. The report said that Li paid for   
the repairs.


Subscribe to Bizarre News


Let Us Help Your Child... 

Normal Price: $19.99
OUR PRICE: $2.99

We're very excited and proud to offer 'The Stepping Stones'
DVD series. This series is designed for children 3 to 9
and will help them with their basic math skills. In fact,
it will improve their skills - guaranteed. 

A one-of-a-kind DVD collection, The Stepping Stones series 
makes learning fun. This DVD series is a MUST. In fact, we 
are so committed to getting these DVDs into every child's 
hands, we've priced them WELL BELOW retails. You would pay 
up to $19.99 for a single DVD of this series, but we've made 
them affordable at just $2.99 each. Check them out at:

DVD - Learning Addition


********************* WEEKLY JOKES ********************** 

LAFF A DAY: 

This guy's wife had recently died and she was being buried.   
The man was sobbing and was being consoled by his friends.   

"Don't worry, Pal, in time you will meet a beautiful lady   
who will make you happy."   

"I know, I know," he replied, "But what am I gonna do   
tonight?"


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


Subscribe to Laff A Day


CLEAN LAFFS: 

I was in my car one day listening to a guy on the radio   
help callers with their home problems. One woman called up   
hysterical after finding a skunk in her basement.   

"Leave a trail of breadcrumbs or cat food from your basement   
to your backyard," suggested the show's host. "That'll get   
rid of it."   

An hour later the woman called back, even more upset. "Now   
I have TWO skunks in my basement!"

 
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


------------------------------------------------------------
Introducing the Game Lovers 4-CDRom Collection 
FOR JUST 99 CENTS...

You read this correctly. For the first time ever, you can 
get four (4) fully licensed CDRoms of some of the best games 
for just 99 cents. That's 99 CENTS FOR ALL FOUR!

It's the deal of a lifetime but it is a promotional offer so 
we MUST limit you to no more than four (3) collections per 
order. Included in this Exclusive Collection:

      - Asteroids           - Family Game Pack by Royale 
      - Mini Golf Master    - Brain Buster

Why are we offering this? Plain and simple, we want to get 
you to our PulseTV site to show you how easy it is to order 
and what great service we have. Grab this special deal (only
available to GopherCentral readers) by visiting us at:

Game Lover's 4-CDRom Collection
------------------------------------------------------------


******************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *********************

Fight Scene - Happy Gilmore

Watch as Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler) pairs up with Bob Barker 
in the Pepsi Pro-AM and instead of fighting the heckler; he 
fights Bob Barker and they both can take a punch.

View it at: Fight Scene - Happy Gilmore



    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????



TEASE: 

A chessboard measures eight squares by eight squares,   
containing 32 small black squares and 32 small white   
squares. However, a chessboard may be thought of as being   
made up of larger squares and rectangles, all composed of   
the smaller black and white squares. Can you determine   
just how many squares and rectangles a chessboard does   
contain? In other words, in how great a number of different   
ways is it possible to trace out a square or other   
rectangle enclosed by lines that separate the squares of   
the board.

TEASE ANSWER: 

There are 1296 different rectangle in all, 204 of which are   
squares, counting the square board itself as one, and 1092   
rectangles which are not squares.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted 
and now I have it. I rule!" 

MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: 

Kevin Spacey as Lester Burnham in "American Beauty"


------------------------------------------------------------
           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Do you think that having a Survivor show centering around 
ethnic groups is a good idea?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------

To see more issues please visit: Gopher Bits Archives
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