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Know when to quit.

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           GOPHER BITS - Friday, April 14, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
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Comment The Post Below...


Greetings, 

The wife is planning to drag me and the kids to the 7:30 
service on Sunday. I told her the good Lord himself would 
probably still be in bed at that hour and we'd be wasting 
our prayers. She said wasted prayers or no she wants to be 
in and out of church by 8:30 so we won't miss her parents 
Easter brunch at 10 a.m. I said, all the more reason to go 
to the 9:00 service. She said if I ever want to eat any-
thing again that didn't come out of a cardboard clamshell 
container with a big 'M' printed on it I wouldn't say 
another word. A smart man knows when to quit, after all. 

Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com

P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog

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     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?
     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 


TEASE: 

What six letter word in the English language contains eleven 
other words without rearranging any of its letters? 


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Hello, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your 
TPS reports." 


              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
 
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


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------------------------------------------------------------


******************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *******************

Peter Sarsgaard & Maggie Gyllenhal's Baby & Wedding News...

Actors Peter Sarsgarrd and Maggie Gyllenhaal have announced 
that they are having a child and are planning to get married. 

The two have been together four years and this will be the 
first child and marriage for both of them. 

And yes, Maggie is related to Jake Gyllenhal. She's his older 
sister. No details on when the baby is due or the wedding 
will take place.


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK *************** 

-------- Pizza Joint Goes The Distance For Customers -------

NOME, Alaska - Distance is not an issue for Airport Pizza in 
Nome, Alaska. The pizza joint, the only delivery service in 
Nome, has been known to make deliveries to remote Eskimo 
villages 100 miles away. The villagers view pizza as a 
welcome break from their typical cuisine of whale, walrus, 
and reindeer. Airport Pizza has even delivered 500 miles 
away to the Arctic Ocean town of Barrow, the northernmost 
community in the U.S. Customers don't even have to pay 
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the pizzas for free to villages on its regular routes.


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******************** WEEKLY JOKES ********************* 

LAFF A DAY: 

Q: What does a man with a ten-inch penis have for breakfast? 

A: "Well, this morning I had eggs, toast and juice."


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


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CLEAN LAFFS: 

I learned a lesson in marketing from a man who bought an old 
boat, a trailer and a motor from me. "Thanks," he said as he 
loaded them up. "I'm planning to resell them."

Good luck, I thought. I had been trying to get rid of them 
for months. But when I ran into him a few weeks later, he'd 
sold everything.

"How did you manage that?" I marveled.

"I took out an ad: 'Heavy-duty boat trailer with free boat.' 
When the buyer came to get it, I asked if he had a motor. 
He said no. I told him I happened to have one in my garage. 
Bought that, too."

 
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


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****************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *******************

Did Jesus Really Walk The Earth?

It is believe by some that the bible was not written until 
400 years after Christ's crucifixion which raises questions 
on the historical records of Jesus through the Gospels of 
Matthew and Luke. 

View it at: Click here to view the clip



    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????



TEASE: 

What six letter word in the English language contains eleven 
other words without rearranging any of its letters?

TEASE ANSWER: 

The word is Spared. The eleven words are: 
Spa, Spar, Spare, Pa, Par, Pare, Pared, A, Are, Re, and Red.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Hello, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your 
TPS reports." 

MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: 

Gary Cole as Bill Lumbergh in "Office Space"


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           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

   Do you approve of President Bush's handling of Iraq?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
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