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I wish the damn wind would stop blowing!

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           GOPHER BITS - Friday, April 21, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
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Comment The Post Below...


Greetings, 

Much to my simultaneous amusement and regret I have intro-
duced my son to kite flying. The last few weeks have seen 
a good bit of wind and I thought it would be a great way 
to distract the little perpetual motion machine. It dis-
tracted him, alright. He is now what you might call a kite 
enthusiast. Every single afternoon he literally begs me to 
take him to the park so we can fly his kite. 

I would be happy to just leave him in the front yard with 
fifty yards of string and let him go nuts, but the first 
time I turned my back on him he got himself so tangled in 
the string that he almost lynched himself. It took a pair 
of scissors to get him out of that one. 

The wind looks like it's kicking up out there. I guess I'd 
better get home before the little maniac has a seizure. 

Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com

P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog

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     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?
     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 


TEASE: 

For each number, unscramble the capitalized letters (the two 
groups in each number do not intermix) to form first a famous 
person and then a famous work or theory of theirs. 

1) LONE ROAD, known for painting PAPER SHUTTLES.
2) ACTIONS WANE, known for the TWO HEEL FORMATIONS.
3) HELICAL GNOME, known for painting CATHERINE FOOTMAN.
4) SITE NINE, known for the THRIFTY EYE VIOLATOR.
5) SUPERCONIC, known for the EITHER TOY CHRONICLE.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting 
both the Israelis and the Palestinians."


              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
 
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


------------------------------------------------------------
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Post Natal Workout on DVD
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******************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *******************

Whitney In Rehab...

Whitney Houston has reportedly checked herself into rehab 
in a bid to kick crack cocaine.

Whitney, who has a well-publicized history of drug problems, 
is said to have entered the facility without telling husband 
Bobby Brown.

Whitney's sister-in-law Tina Brown is quoted in a newspaper 
as saying: "At first he thought she was just off on another 
drug binge.

"It took a few days to find out from Whitney's family that 
they had talked her into rehab. All Bobby told me is that 
she is in treatment, in a secluded place." 

The news comes after Tina claimed the former diva was hooked 
on crack cocaine and living in squalor.


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK *************** 

----------- Something Fishy Going On In Japan --------------

HAKONE, Japan - It's a common sight to see Japanese people 
eating fish. But I bet you wouldn't expect to see fish eat-
ing Japanese people. However, thanks to a beauty treatment 
imported from Turkey, this won't be an unusual sight for 
much longer. Bathers at a new spa called "Dr Fish" have the 
chance to dip their feet into a warm pool teeming with fish 
that nibble away at dead skin and bacteria. The toothless 
Kangal fish are used in Turkey as a cure for skin conditions 
like psoriasis, but in Japan the focus is on getting feet 
squeaky clean. Bathers say the experience is not painful, 
but rather ticklish. "They're eating the bad stuff and it 
makes me feel better," Shingo Kamiya, a 45-year-old customer 
at the spa said.


Subscribe to Bizarre News


NEW DISCOVERY LOWERS CHOLESTEROL QUICKLY, NATURALLY

PRINCETON, NJ - A clinical study at UCLA confirms that a
safe, natural supplement reduces cholesterol absorption
40% or more with no side effects. Says CholesterolWatchers
Medical Director Dr. Arlene Donar, "With high cholesterol
you need to do something now. Take it with meals and..." 
(more) Lower your cholesterol naturally


******************** WEEKLY JOKES ********************* 

LAFF A DAY: 

Stopping to pay a call on some suburban constituents, the 
Congressman found they were having a party and volunteered 
to return at a more convenient time. 

"Don't go," the host begged. "We're playing a game that you 
might enjoy. We blindfold the women and then they try to 
guess the identity of the men by feeling their genitals." 

"How dare you suggest such a thing to a man of my dignity 
and stature?" the politician roared. 

"You might as well play," the host urged. "You're name's 
already been guessed three times."


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


Subscribe to Laff A Day


CLEAN LAFFS: 

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an 
inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that 
all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something 
pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might 
be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he 
finally got the energy to pull his hospital gown down enough 
so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. 

Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips 
of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. 
Written in large black letters was the sentence. 

"Get well quick... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last 
week."

 
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


------------------------------------------------------------
     Learn the Real Secret Behind the Da Vinci Code

This thought provoking DVD reveals the mystery of a Priest
in Southern France. Whispers of hidden treasure and the
holy grail have been circling around the Old Roman Church
at Rennes-le-Château for centuries. Was the Holy Grail ever
Found? Were Jesus and Mary Magdalene married? This DVD will
uncover some of the clues of this age old mystery. Now $19.99. 

Da Vinci Code DVD
------------------------------------------------------------


****************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *******************

There's No Crying In Baseball - A League of Their Own

Here's the reason why girls don't play professional baseball... 
they can't take criticism. Everyone knows this classic scene 
when Evelyn throws home and lets the tieing run get on second 
and they lose the game. 

View it at: Click here to view the clip



    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????



TEASE: 

For each number, unscramble the capitalized letters (the two 
groups in each number do not intermix) to form first a famous 
person and then a famous work or theory of theirs. 

1) LONE ROAD, known for painting PAPER SHUTTLES.
2) ACTIONS WANE, known for the TWO HEEL FORMATIONS.
3) HELICAL GNOME, known for painting CATHERINE FOOTMAN.
4) SITE NINE, known for the THRIFTY EYE VIOLATOR.
5) SUPERCONIC, known for the EITHER TOY CHRONICLE.

TEASE ANSWER: 

1) LEONARDO, known for painting THE LAST SUPPER. 
2) ISAAC NEWTON, known for the THREE LAWS OF MOTION. 
3) MICHELANGELO, known for painting THE CREATION OF MAN. 
4) EINSTEIN, known for the THEORY OF RELATIVITY. 
5) COPERNICUS, known for the HELIOCENTRIC THEORY.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting 
both the Israelis and the Palestinians."

MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: 

John Cusack as Rob Gordon in "High Fidelity"


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           GopherCentral's Question of the Week: 

            Should President Bush Be Impeached?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
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