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"Mercy is for the weak!"

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            GOPHER BITS - Friday, March 9, 2007
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com


Those of you who are fans of our video page, www.EVTV1.com, 
will be pleased to hear that we have recently upgraded to 
a new, bigger video player. No more squinting to see if the 
little blobs on color bouncing around on the screen are 
actually people. The new player practically fills a quarter 
of the screen! 

And we have some fun new clips this week for you to check 
the new player out on. As always the top five are right 
below the opening comments, here, but if you scroll down 
to the bottom of the page there is a link to a cool inter-
view with the guy who played Sensei Kreese in the old 
'Karate Kid' movies. I used to love those flicks, and I 
still think they're pretty cool. 

Check it out! 




     ?                                                ?
     ?   This Week's Top Viewed Videos on EVTV1.com   ?
     ?                                                ?


1. Antonella Barba Video

2. Cat Plays Piano

3. When Britney Attacks

4. Race Car Hits Seagull at 180 MPH

5. Stupid People - Bad Ideas

**  For more of the newest video every week, click for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

Subscribe to EVTV1

    --- American Idol - Unauthorized and Uncensored ---

Step backstage and get a first-hand glimpse of the nail-
biting audition process, the sold-out concerts and the
price that an 'idol' might pay for fame, fortune and even
disaster. This is a behind-the-scenes, no holds barred look
at the cultural phenomenon known as American Idol. If you
are one of the fans of this popular show, you won’t want to
miss this revealing expose -  unauthorized - uncensored and
undeniably a collectible DVD!

You’ll even discover what life is like for idols after the
glow of American fame fades? Included in the DVD are:
Kelly Clarkson, Ruben, Fantasia, Bo, Paula Abdul, Simon
Cowell, Randy Jackson and more!  Plus you'll save $5.00
off the normal retail price. Get this for just $14.99

American Idol - Unauthorized and Uncensored

********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************

Jersey Town Whacks Sopranos...

Looks like HBO can fugettabout bringing 'The Sopranos' to 
one suburban New Jersey town. The city of Bloomfield has 
barred the Emmy-winning series from filming an upcoming 
episode there due to its "negative depictions of Italian-
Americans," Mayor Raymond McCarthy, whose wife happens to 
be Italian said no to filming permits. 

The series was slated to shoot its swan-song episode at a 
local ice cream parlor. Upon hearing about it, however, the 
mayor spearheaded a successful effort to whack the plans. 
Both HBO and the owners of the Holsten's Brookdale Confect-
ionery are hoping to overturn the decision. 

Other business owners are also unhappy with the mayor's 
decision as the filming would throw a lot of money into 
the town. 

Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz

*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK **************** 

-------- Sword fight breaks out after break in ----------   

BEAUFORT, S.C. - The Sheriff's Office of Beaufort County,   
S.C., said a man who broke into his ex-girlfriend's home   
was foiled by her roommate who sword-fought the invader.   
Deputies said Elvis Javier Polanco brandished a 3-foot   
sword when he broke into the home of his ex-girlfriend   
last week, only to find that her roommate, Louis Delgado   
Hernandez, was an avid sword collector and skilled in the   
use of the weapons, the Hilton Head (S.C.) Island Packet   
reports. Hernandez was able to disarm Polanco, cutting the   
alleged invader's arm in the process. Polanco was treated   
at the Hilton Head Regional Medical Center before being   
taken to the Beaufort County Detention Center. Polanco was   
charged with second-degree burglary and high-and-aggravated   
assault and battery. Deputies said Hernandez will not face   
charges. A second man accused of assisting Polanco with   
breaking into the house is still being sought.

Subscribe to Bizarre News

Get Out & Walk... You'll Be Glad You Did!

One of the easiest and best forms of exercise is walking.
But did you know there are certain things to do when
walking that will help you achieve better health?

Let Leslie Sansone's revolutionary DVD convert the space 
in front of your television into a fat burning, body 
shaping, health improvement walking track. 

The "Older Adults Walk & Firm" DVD is even more effective 
than an outdoor or treadmill walk. You'll perform a 
combination of simple walking based steps and proven 
firming exercises, that will keep your muscles strong, 
boost your metabolism and increase your energy. And
we've discounted the price to get you started. Pick-up
this DVD for just $9.99. Get more info or order at:

Older Adults Walk & Firm DVD

********************* WEEKLY JOKES ********************** 


A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day 
discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes 
the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon." 

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the 

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced 

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the 
Roman Empire." 

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he 
thinks will end the discussion. 

With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!" 

The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians 
who introduced it to women!"

      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 

Subscribe to Laff A Day


"That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-

"I know, but I don't hold any grudges." 

"I'm surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out 
with her." 

"Well, I had to swear to him she's Jennifer Lopez's double." 
"Wow! Is that true?" 

"I wouldn't lie. She's twice her weight and twice her age." 

Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


Normal Price: $19.99

Plain and simple this is one heck of a deal. Discounted 
below cost, you'll want to pick up a couple. Makes a great 
gift. Check it out by visiting: Briefcase/Laptop Bag

******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************

             Casting Kresse in the Karate Kid

Martin Kove plays John Kreese Cobra Kai Sensei in this family 
favorite Karate Kid shares his home movies of him getting 
prepared for his audition. 

View it at: Casting Kresse in the Karate Kid

More great videos for every interest at:  www.evtv1.com 

    ?                                                  ?
    ?        We've got an offer you can't refuse       ?
    ?                                                  ?

We're featuring today's deal item so you can have it just in 
time for April Fool's Day. In reality it's pretty fun anytime. 

If you love pranks, check it out... and it's reduced to $1.29.

Order Yours For A Fun April Fool's Day...

Store Price: $5.99
OUR PRICE: $1.29

This is a fun novelty item that is an update to the classic
hand buzzer prank. With this one, instead of a buzz to the
hand, your unsuspecting mark will get a ZAAAP.

This item is carefully disguised to be slipped to the unwary 
target. They get a harmless but alarming jolt. Always good for 
a jump and a shout.

Take our advice and do not use this gag while trying to pick 
up girls. We are not responsible for slaps. Pranker's Paradise 
ranks this **** 1/2 (four and a half stars out of five).

Today's Deal of the Day

Click here and look for DEAL OF THE DAY at the top of the page.

           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Will President Bush be a valuable asset to Republicans in 
the 2008 elections?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week

To see more issues like this visit: Gopher Bits Archives
More Free Fun and Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com

END OF GOPHER BITS - Another FREE Gopher Central publication 
Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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